If anyone saw that post, sorry, embarrassment won over, couldn’t do it. I’LL TRY AND GET A REAL FIC UP SOON HOPEFULLY THAT GOT ME PAST MY BLOCK
I felt like I had so much creative energy today. I was gonna be productive. But here I am at almost 10PM and all I have is 49 words and a weird p*rn doodle.
paksenarrion-reader replied to your post “[[MOR] rrrr. i’m annoyed at myself for still trying to impress her…”
been there, it sucks, hugging you
Thanks Reader ❤ It isn’t so bad, it’s mostly just me @ myself like “YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS,” though I should give myself some leniency time since I was expecting an answer with less up for interpretation. (I also can’t really blame her for being vague, because I was hardly direct.)BUT ON A BRIGHTER NOTE, this is a cool opportunity because it’s my first time really exploring my attraction to women? I am PAINFULLY monogamous in that usually if I have a crush, I don’t even think about other women (and okay the guilt complex played into that tons, it was easier to accept being attracted to a girl if I knew her and really liked her because that felt less gros). But now I’m having fun noticing attractive women everywhere and hopefully I’ll make it out to a lesbian bar again soon and see what can happen there and also I’m thinking of seeing if the girl I’ve been chatting with a little on Tinder might want to grab coffee, and it’s so cool to be open to these things!
Imagine your OTP
“Did you really braid my hair while I went down on you??”
“Haruka please.”
“I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS”
rrrr. i’m annoyed at myself for still trying to impress her
also annoyed that it worked
I mean I didn’t dress FOR her but as soon as I realized I looked good I hoped she’d notice and she DID and commented and it’s dumb because I don’t even like, ~want to change her mind~ it’s just 50% being REALLY HAPPY with any sort of attention from her and 50% trying to get a real read on what she actually meant (even though compliments are a TERRIBLE thing to try and read from) (my secret hope is that she’ll CLARIFY, just like “hey i realize i made it sound kind of open last time, but I meant i def just want to be your friend” or something. trying my best not to entertain thoughts about the flip possibility, though it isn’t quite working)
I WILL TRY AND STAY STRONG AGAINST THE MUSTARD
CONSTANT VIGILANCE
Daydreaming about suits and alternatives to black/gray, and I caught myself thinking, “Yellow would show a lot of personality”
suddenly I understand BUT I DON’T WANT TO UNDERSTAND. THERE ARE SOME WAYS I REALLY DON’T NEED TO RELATE TO HARUKA
paksenarrion-reader replied to your photoset “I’ve had a little wine so I wanted to share that after Tuxedo Pearl…”
you look great! also, on the other end of the scale there’s me, who will also never have a blazer that suits without being tailored 😀
listen let’s just magically average out our sizes whenever we want to wear suits, make it nice and easy. please especially lend me some arm length, the baggy sleeves make me look like a kid playing dress up 😛
but consider: girls kissing
one thing no one ever really mentions about nyc/manhattan is that flowers are everywhere. esp in spring/summer when the farmer’s markets have them but even in winter the corner stores have bouquets out just waiting for you to buy them for a girl
SittingOverHereDreaming 