Tag: sam writes

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

For Mako’s birthday I’m introducing y’all to my trash ship Mako/Taiki, in just under a thousand words. This is in a Kakyuu-died Stars AU, though outside of a few lines it’s not super different (though I want to write a bunch in AU).

———

Taiki had pictured Makoto living is a small but quaintly luxurious house, even after she’d figured out it must be wrong, even after Usagi had mentioned she’d lived alone. It was still strange to her how people here filed their lives into cabinet buildings, assigning numbers so that one could tuck themselves into the right folder every night. It didn’t seem right to her, especially for someone like Makoto. Makoto reminded her sometimes of a Kinmokunian, a bright flower of life, too alive to be shoved away in some dark drawer of an apartment.

Did Galaxia keep Kakyuu’s star seed in a drawer? The other Starlights? The souls of every planet she’d taken? It was absurd and sad all at once, and when Makoto opened the door Taiki took a second too long to notice.

“What are you doing here?” Makoto crossed her arms over a well-worn apron. The smell of baking bread wafted around her.

“Oh, If you’re busy I can go. I just. I got you this.” Taiki shoved a shopping bag at her. It was supposed to be a custom, here on Earth, to bring a gift when you visited, but Makoto looked baffled. “I, um. I would like to come in, if you would have me.”

She looked at her with slight suspicion, but stepped aside. “Yeah, okay. Are you hungry?”

“I’m not sure.” Taiki knew it wasn’t the right answer, but she couldn’t think. She watched as Makoto pulled the tea kettle she’d bought from the bag and set it next to the one she already had on the stove.

Perhaps Taiki should have done more research for this. But it had felt so urgent, like she was drowning in the Three Lights’ flat, there hadn’t been time to be more thorough. She fingered the receipt still in her pocket. “I can take that back, sorry, I didn’t know–”

“It’s good to have an extra,” Makoto said firmly, though she smiled for the first time that night. “Thank you. Now, would you like some tea?”

“I’m okay, thank you.”

Makoto shook her head. “If you show up at my door, you have to let me serve you something. Sit down, we’ll have tea.”

Taiki sat uncomfortably at the edge of the couch while Makoto busied herself in the kitchen. There were picture frames on almost every surface, mostly of Makoto’s friends, but some Taiki assumed to be family. Those photos were clearly older than the rest. That would explain some of it, wouldn’t it? Makoto understood. Maybe she had lived in a luxurious house once, with big windows that let in the sunlight and a sprawling yard, and flowers, flowers growing everywhere, red fireball blooms and—

Makoto set a tea cup on a side table coaster with a small plink. “So why are you here?” She sat in a chair across from Taiki, nursing her own cup.

“My planet was destroyed.”

“Here as in my apartment, Kou, not Earth.”

“Yes. I know.” Taiki leaned forward to look at the floor instead of making eye contact. Makoto had placed a mat beneath the living room furniture, perhaps to delineate it from the kitchen in the same room. “Kinmoku was a planet of warmth, and flowers, and sometimes Earth doesn’t seem so different and sometimes it’s so foreign I can’t get my bearings. I like the school greenhouses, because they let me pretend I’m home.”

Makoto frowned. “If this is about the gardening club—“

“No, I just—“ Taiki breathed deep. They hadn’t done well, to foster so much animosity. Makoto’s defensiveness was no less than what Taiki deserved, but it made her ache. “I’ve seen you there, sometimes. You talk to the plants while you care for them. You’re very kind to them. And with everything… I just wanted to be around that kindness for a little while.’

Makoto didn’t respond for a long while. When Taiki looked up, she was staring off towards her photographs, pensive as she’d ever seen her. “Who are you missing, tonight?” She asked finally.

“Everyone,” Taiki breathed. “And everything. I should miss our princess most but…”

Makoto looked back and smiled gently. “There isn’t a most, most of the time, is there?” She stretched and sighed. “Sometimes I feel stupid, because when my parents died, we’d had a cat, and it got put in a shelter while I was shuffled around the system, and sometimes I miss the cat as much as mom and dad. Even though I can’t remember its name.”

Taiki found the cat in one of the photographs, held by a small girl struggling to keep it still for the picture. “Sometimes I just miss the way the air smelled. Sometimes I feel like if I were just home, everything would be okay.”

Makoto hummed, soft and sad. “We haven’t given you much credit, considering all you’ve lost.”

“We haven’t given you much reason to.”

“That’s true. But then again, my reputation as a delinquent wasn’t from nothing.” She pursed her lips for a moment, and then moved to sit next to Taiki on the couch. “Sometimes, people should get second chances.”

Taiki let herself sit back a little. “Sometimes, maybe.”

“But only if you’ll stop being such a goddamn prick about everything.”

A laugh escaped before Taiki could remember to be somber. Makoto smiled a sly smile. “Those are fair terms.”

“You’re getting off easy.” Makoto leaned back with her hands behind her head. “I beat the shit out of Haruka a few times before we called a truce.”

Taiki smiled. “Think you could give Seiya a taste of that?”

“I wouldn’t want to deny Haruka the pleasure.” Mako put a hand on Taiki’s shoulder. “You guys are gonna be alright.”

It sounded real, coming from Mako. She’d carved her place in the lonely world, and they could too.

And under the warmth of her hand, the world didn’t seem so lonely anyway.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

“When were you born?” She asks the thing inside her, one year when she is feeling raw and alone— alone, save for that which she most and least understands.

When the morning star and evening star crossed paths, married and became one, I first burned in the sky.

Mina sighs. Even her clearest memories of that life are mosaics of myth and reality, pieced together to value beauty over truth. “Did you have calendars back then? Moon years, or something similar?”

Her arms cross, an action of the thing. Such distinctions were superfluous.We marked Our Princess’s christening day and little else.

“So she got a birthday, and you got a legend?”

The thing smiles with Mina’s lips. Which would you choose, if you could?

Utterly different, utterly the same. Mina smiles the same smile.

I was conscious some of the time, waiting for you, the thing says unprompted. All I knew had died, and I listened to the ages of the world pass until I could merge with a new star. Your ascent on my horizon is a date worth noting.

Mina can feel the thing’s loneliness eclipse her own. A void of nothing, and then one tiny light— her light, the third star of Venus. In memory she is overwhelmed with wonder, disgust, gratitude and abhorrence. Her own feelings, mirrored.

“You’re using a lot of words to say you’ve co-opted my birthday as your own.”

It passes the time.

Mina looks up to the clock, reminded at the perfect moment to see it cross into midnight. “Well, happy re-birthday, then.”

Happy birthday.

For a rare moment, they are at peace with one another, and the world. Mina closes her eyes and lets the thing have her body, lets it feel the quiet night, the warm blankets, the soft sleepiness building behind her eyes. In the light of day, they will be at war again, but here, while the morning and evening stars have crossed paths, they are one.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

Her hands had killed. Her hands had torn people apart, had wrecked worlds and lives and friendships. Her hands were tainted. Her hands were brutish, calloused, rough as sandpaper and tough as nails.

And yet the nurse placed the softest thing in the world in them. Haruka almost told her not to, that she would surely break it, that it should be left in Michiru’s arms, she was softer, she knew more, Haruka had read so much, taken classes, but Michiru always knew more–

But then her hand, Haruka’s rough, powerful hand, moved instinctively under the baby’s head. She cradled her close, this softest girl, and nothing else mattered. Her daughter needed softness, and so she was soft. Her daughter needed gentleness, and so she was gentle.

Her daughter needed goodness, and so even Haruka could be good. Haruka would be anything this little girl needed.

Michiru gave her an exhausted smile from the bed. “The two of you are beautiful.”

Haruka smiled back, the sight of her wife blurring through the tears. She sat next to her, still nestling the baby against her chest. “I thought I wouldn’t know how to do this.”

Michiru leaned over and kissed her elbow, the only thing in her reach. “You are perfect for this, love.”

Haruka looked from her to the baby, their baby, and for the first time in her life, believed it could be true. She could be perfect, or at least good. Who she was, who she had been and what she had done, was only dust in the wind. Nothing would keep her from doing right by her daughter. Her family.

Her hands would build, heal, fix. Her hands would check baths and bottles and make shadow puppets on the walls when the power went out. Her hands would hold her baby’s head and then her hand and hopefully always her heart.

Haruka’s hands were what she chose to do with them, and from that moment forward, she would always choose care.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

The FINALE of HaruMichi BatB is here! I hope you enjoy, please comment if you do! (Masterpost)

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Sunlight, dappled by the patterns of soft lace curtains, danced around Haruka’s bedside. She could not place where she was. Her body ached, though she was comforted by strong smells of breakfast food, sweet cinnamon sugar and bacon grease and coffee. This was not a place she’d ever been. Minako’s breakfast of choice was cold pizza, and Michiru…

She shot up, head spinning from the motion. Michiru!

“Take it easy, buddy.” Minako sat in a chair on the other side of the bed, natural dark circles replacing her usual makeup. “We don’t know how well you’ve healed.”

Haruka leaned back against the headboard. “But… what happened? I thought I found her, but…”

“Everyone’s fine, but back it up there a bit. I have to yell at you still.” Mina stood, chest puffed and ready to go, but then her face crumpled and she slid onto the bed and threw her arms around Haruka. “I thought you were dead so many times.”

“I’m sorry, Mina. I’m alright. I’m alright.”

Mina pulled away and sniffed. “I’m going to find a way to adopt you, just so I can ground you.” She jabbed a finger into Haruka’s chest. “You are not going anywhere without me, young lady.”

Haruka ruffled her hair. “You’ve never seemed the maternal type.”

“If you keep finding new ways to put yourself in danger, I’ll fucking do it.” She looped her arm around Haruka’s shoulders. “We are buying you at least five external phone chargers. And you’re going to buy me something nice for all my troubles.”

“I’m really sorry, Mina.”

“You should be.” She paused. “I’m not. Maybe you think I should be, but I’m not. Presented with all the same evidence again, I’d do the exact same thing.”

“Mina…”

“I know you think she changed, or is good deep down, but that doesn’t matter. She hurt you, and I had to protect you. And god knows you’re going to be stupid about this, and try and keep something going with her–”

“She made it out, then?”

Mina rolled her eyes. “See? Stupid.” But she rubbed her shoulders. “But we had a lot of things wrong, so maybe we’re all a little stupid. The stories said she cursed herself out of hatred for other people.”

“That’s not what happened.”

“Yeah, we got an earful from a couple of former ghosts for that one. It doesn’t excuse anything.” Mina looked at Haruka with just enough guilt, though, that made it clear it was complicated to her. “I can’t stop any of this. But if she ever so much as raises her voice at you…”

“God, I missed you.”

Mina smiled. “I missed you too, buddy.” She patted her back. “Now, there’s breakfast waiting, and a few people very eager to see you.”

Haruka followed her nose towards the kitchen, met halfway by a rosy-cheeked, breathless Usagi. “Haruka! You’re awake!” She danced over to hug her, feet loud and heavy even against the carpeted floor. “I want you to meet my family.”

She pulled Haruka into a dining room, where a handful of women, including Makoto, sat around the table. Usagi went first to an older woman with tear rimmed eyes. “This is my granddaughter.” Usagi teared as well as she said it. “Setsuna.” The older woman squeezed her hand with a smile. Together, their hands made the mismatch of ages all too clear– Usagi’s was smooth, Setsuna’s boney and arthritic.

“And this,” Usagi said, flinging herself towards a younger woman who, remarkably, bore a trace of resemblance to her. “Is my great-great granddaughter. She was named after me.”

The second Usagi grinned. “Call me Teenie, though, or it’ll get confusing.”

“And this is her girlfriend, Hotaru! I’ll get to attend their wedding!”

Hotaru looked deeply uncomfortable. Haruka could not be sure if it was because they were not engaged, or because Haruka recognized her as the first woman who’d shot Michiru. She could not think on it long, because Usagi once again threw her arms around her and began to sob. “Thank you, Haruka. I finally get to meet them.”

“I didn’t do anything, Usagi.”

“You did.”

Makoto stood and wrapped them both in a hug. “Michiru is outside, if you wish to see her,” she whispered in Haruka’s ear.

It filled Haruka with more nerves than she expected. She’d seen, for just a moment in the fire, that Michiru had changed. She hadn’t trusted what she saw, but Makoto and Usagi were proof, weren’t they? And if the curse had broken, would Michiru want anything to do with Haruka?

Haruka found her on the front lawn, curled up in a patio chair in the sun. Her hair now fell in soft waves down her back. She had delicate shoulders beneath the sleeves of an oversized borrowed shirt, and delicate hands crossed over her lap. She was stunning. Haruka was painfully out of her depth.

Michiru turned, then, and met her eyes. “The sun’s nice, on my skin.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.”

She gave a polite half smile. “I am of a mind to tell you you have no further obligation to me, with the curse broken, and yet I feel that’s not what I was supposed to learn.”

“What… I mean, how…” Haruka could not seem to make her brain connect with her mouth. There was too much to say, and she felt exposed without the weight of the curse between them.

“How did the curse break, you mean?” She turned back towards the sun and closed her eyes. “Well, it was my own misery, naturally. You provided the missing piece.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s what I needed. I lied to you, when I said that I had loved and been loved. The former is true only in the crudest sense.” She took a deep breath. “The woman who cursed me said I would feel as bad as I made others feel, and then worse. And she had loved me. I had never considered that she loved me.”

Haruka felt warm, and could not pretend it was from the morning sun. “So… you’re saying… are you saying…” She swallowed hard. “That… that…”

“Yes, Haruka, I love you, and you need not think anything of it.”

“But you’re beautiful now. I mean, you kind of were before, in a weird way, but you were also, you know, not, and now… now you’re just beautiful.”

Michiru turned back to her, sliding her legs around the side of her chair. “Whatever do you mean?”

“Well, you could have anyone now.”

Michiru gave a slight chuckle. “We certainly don’t have to worry that we have nothing in common, do we?” She stood. Haruka saw for the first time how small she was, only a few inches taller than Usagi and Teenie. “You are, of course, free to do as you wish. But I would like to give you flowers again, many times, if you would allow it.”

“I have nothing to offer you.”

“Nor I you. My dowry would be quite worthless now, even were it not burned to ash.”

Haruka could not help but smile. “You’ve got so much to learn.”

“Perhaps you could teach me.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Their eyes met. “You know, there’s something I wanted to do last night, before everything went to shit. Could I maybe…”

Somehow, Michiru looked as scared now as she had then. But she nodded, and Haruka stepped in close, and then it was Michiru who closed the gap. For a moment their fears didn’t matter, nor their shortcomings. The world narrowed to two pairs of petal-soft lips, to desire and hope and belief that change was not the breaking of a curse but the decision to be brave and open, to work for worthiness rather than resign to its absence.

And when the kiss broke, the world did not return to how it had been before. Haruka looked into Michiru’s eyes and knew it never would.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

HaruMichi BatB Chapter 17! Please note that Chapter 16 was posted Saturday as a bonus update, and check the Masterpost if you’ve missed anything!

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Michiru came to slowly as the pain in her head receded like a wave pulled back over the sand into the sea. And as she opened her eyes and saw the room empty save for Makoto and Usagi, who held her, a new one crashed in. The pain washed over every crevice of her heart.

Her breath caught.

Usagi stopped crying. “Michiru, you’re okay! I was scared this time-”

“You have to get out of here,” Mako cut in. “They’ve lit the house on fire.” She met Usagi’s eyes grimly. They could not go beyond the walls. They would have to trust that they were immaterial enough not to burn.

“I’m sorry,” Michiru said, extracting herself from Usagi’s arms. “I have been given every chance for absolution, and instead I have dug my own grave. And yours.” Then again, had they not always been fated to end up here? Love would not break the curse. And yet… Michiru felt she had ruined her only salvation. Haruka might have really come to love her. Except Michiru had shown that she would never be worthy of anything but the fires she could now hear building ever bigger, ever closer.

“If you go now, Usagi should be able to heal any injuries you sustain.”

“I will not be going anywhere.” Michiru would not cry, not now. She did not deserve even her own sympathy. “What is there in the world for a monster like me? I shall perish with this house.” She turned and made her best approximation of a curtsy. “You have served me well, and I thank you. I hope you can find a way to make it out when I am gone.”

“You can’t do this.”

“Why not?”

Neither Makoto nor Usagi answered her. They knew, surely, that there was no reason at all. She had proven, once and for all, that there was nothing good in her. There was nowhere to go from here.

“I’d like a moment, please.” She made her way to the balcony. “Just one moment alone, before…”

Makoto nodded. “We will stay close.” She took Usagi by the shoulder and they disappeared together.

Michiru stared at the dark, starless sky as the smoke began to waft out around her. She had been such a fool. A fool to scorn so many, a fool to believe she could ever make up for it, a fool to believe it could ever not matter.

“Is this what you felt?” she asked into the night, wondering if somehow the witch who’d cursed her would hear it through the years. “Had you believed?” Michiru had not set fire to her home– though that wasn’t fair to say, she was sure now. That girl had had an idea of a home with Michiru, and Michiru had torched it thoroughly. Carelessly. Cruelly. Perhaps Michiru’s only claim to greater pain was that Haruka was not cruel. It could not have been a shock when Michiru acted as such, but Haruka… with Haruka, it was a reflection upon Michiru.

She could not stop a tear, then, and she could not stop the next.

She turned away from the open air and towards the smoke. She took her wretched hand mirror up one last time. “Show me what could have been,” she whispered, voice thick. “Show what could have been if I were worthy.”

It’s surface shone bright for a moment, and then it showed only Michiru’s face as it had been before the change.

“No,” she said, shaking it. “That’s not what I want now, show me Haruka, show me—“

She froze. A hand, not a claw, held the mirror’s handle. Her hand. Her smooth, human hand. The glass showed her shocked face, full cheeks and pink lips, hair still wound atop her head, but soft now, even beginning to fizz in the night air around the edges of the braid. Her dress, torn at the shoulders, hung loosely around a human body, with human curves and human lines. She wiggled her bare toes–toes!– and felt the stone beneath them.

A sound bubbled up from her throat, and she could not identify it as a laugh or a sob. Of course this would come now, when there was nothing left to make it matter. It was truly hilarious, and tragic, and shocking and inevitable and she wanted to break the mirror, shatter it now that it was as powerless as she was, but it would do nothing, and–

A shout came from the hall. Michiru swallowed her feelings and hurried back into the room, only to have the wind knocked from her by the embrace of a now very solid Usagi. The shorter woman sobbed against her. Makoto trailed behind, teary as well, fingertips skating over her palms and marveling at the feel of her own skin.

“You have to get out of here,” Michiru said. She felt hollow. A puppet, going through a script. “Others have climbed up to the balcony, surely you can climb down.”

“You can’t expect us to leave you,” Usagi looked up with big, bloodshot eyes.

Michiru pressed her lips together. “Of course not,” she lied. “I will be right behind you.” She patter Usagi’s head. “You’ll be able to see your daughter again. Or granddaughter.”

“And you promise you’ll come, too?”

“I promise.”

To the already damned, a broken promise meant nothing.

“You should go first, Makoto,” she continued. “To help Usagi.”

Makoto looked at her, eyes knowing, conflicted. She stepped up, and Michiru feared she would argue, but then she pulled Michiru into a hug. “She won’t make it on her own. I have to protect her,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I could not protect you.” She pulled back and kissed Michiru’s forehead, like she were an angel giving a blessing. “Come on, Usagi, I’ll find the safest way down.”

Usagi looked between them, perhaps suspecting, but then she followed Makoto to the balcony and began to climb.

Michiru sank to the floor. Her legs felt so small and weak, now. Little twigs, compared to what had replaced them for so long. She ran her hands along them and wondered how she’d even manage, had she followed Makoto and Usagi. This body was small and slow and vulnerable. She felt physical fear for the first time in decades as the roar of the fire drew closer.

It seemed to call her name now. The flames were her portal to hell, and they beckoned her, ready to claim their bounty. Michiru! Michiru!

“Michiru!”

It was not the fire. Someone was calling her name.

“Mi-chi-ruuu!” Coughing followed.

No, this could not happen. She had just sent Usagi away, if Haruka got hurt… And why would Haruka be here, why…

“Michiru!”

Hope and fear battled for her heart. She stood on her pathetic, shaky twigs, and ran.

“Mich—“

Michiru followed the sound of coughing. Her breaths got shorter, the weakness of her body and the pervasiveness of the smoke straining her lungs. “Haruka!” She shouted while she still could.

“Michiru!”

She slowed to a walk, refusing to stop as her muscles began to radiate pain. She followed the sounds down the stairs, back towards the ballroom. The smoke grew thicker,  the heat more intense. “Haruka!”

“I thought you were dead!” Haruka sounded close now, invisible still among the ash. “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t stop them, but I won’t let you die.”

Part of the ceiling crashed down to Michiru’s left. “Haruka!” Her heart beat like a wild thing in its cage. You should have left! Better to have me die alone than see you hurt.

“Are you okay?” Haruka coughed.

“Where are you?” Michiru kept moving forward, and finally she could see Haruka’s shadow through the smoke. “I’m here,” she said, but shut her mouth quickly as ash and smoke blistered her tongue.

Their hands met first. Haruka flinched at the touch. The fire surged closer. They were illuminated for the first time. Haruka gasped, then sputtered, coughing violently.  She began to wobble on her feet as she tried to say something, but could not get a breath around the harsh clouds around them.

“No, no it’s okay–” But she crumbled, slumping limp to the floor. Michiru’s mind raced, Haruka needed to breath. She needed to breathe but the air was wretched and– and Michiru knew what to do. She tore fabric from the shoulder of her dress, one rough square and then another, grateful that it was already mostly ripped. She pressed one against Haruka’s face and one against her own. It made breathing easier, but the smoke still came through. They had to get out. Haruka did not move, even as her breathing became more regular. Michiru could not climb down the balcony with her. Michiru was not sure she could move her at all.

The fire was close now. She didn’t have a choice. Michiru grabbed Haruka under the shoulders, looping one hand up to hold the cloth over Haruka’s mouth. and lifted her as best she could, letting her feet drag. Just an hour ago, it would have been nothing to her. Who would have believed that she’d miss that form so much?

This form ached, made her aware of every muscle she had as it screamed. It did not matter. Beautiful, stupid Haruka was not going to die here. She dragged her through the dark, ashy halls, through rooms where flames licked at Haruka’s shoes and threatened to consume the whole of them. For all the times she’d been shot, stabbed, hunted, persecuted, she had never felt so much pain.

And never had she felt as much relief as when she finally saw a window, a beautiful, breakable, window, large enough for a body to go through. They were going to make it. She could not think of all the other things that waited outside the window– of all the things that would happen to Michiru, of what, exactly, was in the world for a monster like her– only of Haruka’s salvation. Nothing else in the world could matter.

She was going to save Haruka as surely as Haruka had saved her.

She was going to do one good thing. Even a monster could do one good thing.

Michiru smashed through the window, and let come what may.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

Harumichi BatB Chapter 16!

So maybe I felt a little bad about that last chapter. Here is a VERY EARLY UPDATE (it’s getting harder for me to wait a week between posting chapters). Masterpost link

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Haruka was no stranger to fucking things up. Mina loved to remind her of their teenage years, the mailboxes she’d run over and the relationships she’d torn herself from, that trail of destruction they could laugh about now because they had been young, even if Haruka was barely any different now.

Michiru did not hit the floor. Usagi was there, suddenly, and caught her with a shriek, cradled her head in her lap while she cried. She stroked her hair, stroked the wound, hands covered in–

Haruka was no stranger to fucking things up. She always believed she knew the way, always believed she could fix things, never realized when she was wrong until far too late. It got her here, it got her into plenty of bad situations before, and–

“This is why I said it was a bad idea.”

“We weren’t doing so poorly–”

“Hotaru’s lucky to be alive right now!”

Haruka was no stranger to fucking things up. But this was different. This made the whole world stop. Her ears rang, everything was too bright. She should have… should have tackled Michiru aside, when she saw the other woman, should have said something, should have stopped it.  Her breathing was wrong, out of sync, it didn’t reach past her throat. She should have never said she was leaving, should have–

She was being pulled somewhere. It took a moment for her to ground herself enough to realize Mina had taken her hand. The other woman was trying to lift the first woman by the shoulders. Haruka let herself be led to grab her feet.

She’d thought she could help. She’d thought she could break the curse, and then she’d just thought… she’d been selfish. She’d got carried away, and here they were.

They tugged at her to move, but she could not. Haruka’s whole body was cold. She stared back at Michiru, limp in Usagi’s arms. If she stared long enough, it looked like she was still breathing. Like Haruka hadn’t fucked up so irreversibly. Like–

“Haruka,” Mako whispered, appearing next to her. “You promised me you would leave.”

Haruka looked up to her, feeling like Mako spoke the first words she’d heard in years. “But…”

“Please. You’ve done enough.”

“I’m sorry.” Haruka moved as Mina pulled at her arm, feet like lead in every step. By the time they made it outside, her arms were shaking. She let the woman she held down on the grass and collapsed.

“You killed her,” she said to the other woman. The shock and grief wound tight inside her snapped. She began to cry and could not hide it. Her hands made fists in the dirt beneath her, needing something to grab hold of and finding nothing. “You didn’t need to kill her.”

The woman threw up her hands like she might want to kill Haruka, too. “You all want to make me the bad guy, fine, whatever, but I saved all your stupid lives.” She marched over to the car. “And I’m going to save more.” She retrieved a gas can from the trunk.

Haruka could not piece it together. The woman did not take the gas down the road to Haruka’s truck. She took it to the house and began pouring it down the side, walking along to trace the outer wall.

Mina knelt down and put a hand on Haruka’s shoulder, rubbing her back the way she always did when Haruka broke down. “It’s going to be alright, buddy.”

“What’s she doing?” Haruka asked, feeling like a child.

“You’re not the first person to be taken, Haruka. We found out a lot. Some people never made it out. But some did.”

She blinked, uncomprehending.

“Other people have thought they killed the monster. But it apparently has someone who can heal it.”

Haruka thought a moment, then leapt to her feet. “Of course! Usagi heals people, that’s why everything felt better. So then… so then…” She grabbed Mina by the arms. “Michiru’s not dead? I didn’t kill her?” She wanted to cry more, almost, at the prospect.

Mina looked into her eyes. “Oh buddy, no. You didn’t do this. It’s… Oh fuck.” She sighed and pulled away. “Rei, stop!” She ran towards the woman. “We can’t do this.”

Rei turned, gas can in hand. “What?”

“Whatever has happened, Haruka–”

“Has clearly suffered trauma and isn’t thinking clearly.” Rei pulled the gas can away as Mina tried to make a grab at it. “You wanted me to believe in the witch, well, I believe in her. We saw what she can do, and heard more of it, and that makes it our duty to stop it.”

“That’s not–”

Rei threw the gas can in a window, the sound of breaking glass bringing clarity to Haruka’s mind seconds before she lit a match. Mina lunged for it, but the woman was quick. With just a flick of her wrist she tossed it against gas-soaked wall.

The whole thing roared into flame quicker than the blink of an eye.

Haruka was already running.

“Haruka!” Mina yelled after her. Haruka could not make out the rest of what she shouted, though she faintly registered that she turned on Rei. Haruka barreled back through the door moments before the flames swallowed it. She could not yet think about how she would get back out. She could not think of how the smoke pulled at her lungs, made her stride unsteady. She could not think of the heat, the flames at heels, the sweat already dripping down her back. Only one thought consumed her, beat through her body steady as her pulse, and then steadier.

Michiru was alive, and Haruka was not going to let that change. Haruka was going to make this right. Haruka really would save her this time.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

Harumichi BatB Chapter 15! Here is the masterpost, here is the chapter, HAPPY FRIDAY.

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Michiru was in two minds as she left Minako alone in the entryway– one to go somewhere she would not be found, and one to go somewhere she could. The later won out, her stupid heart clinging to its stupid hope, and she fled to her chambers.

Haruka would not come after her.

She would let her go.

It was the right thing, but it was not the thing Michiru wanted. No, as she entered the chamber, she wanted Haruka more than anything. Damn the curse and damn breaking it, for a moment none of it had mattered, and perhaps she had learned nothing after all for that desire consumed her. Her heart raged against its confines, go to her, fight for her, show her you are worthy.

But I am not worthy. She picked up a shard of mirror off the floor. Misery loved no company more than its own face.

In the reflection, she saw the gun seconds before it went off.

Fragments of her mind scattered around the pain. First, her unfailing superiority, marvelling that the shooter had the opportunity for a headshot and instead hit her scale-protected shoulder, where she didn’t even have to rely on Usagi to heal. Second, confusion. It was not Minako in her doorway. Haruka had only mentioned Minako. This was another woman, short dark hair, pale skin. Knowing eyes.

Third– rage. Pure, vindictive rage. This woman would hurt for this.

Michiru slid her body to the ground, one hand on her bleeding shoulder, and waited. The woman stepped up, trigger finger at the ready for another shot. “All this pain you’ve caused,” she said, more venom in her voice than Michiru had expected. “And it’s this easy to be rid of you?”

Michiru tried to piece that together. Poisonous tendrils of despair wound their way around her heart. This woman was unsurprised to see her. This woman was prepared. This woman knew far too much on what to expect.

Michiru had been set up. It was too obvious in hindsight. No one, and most certainly not someone like Haruka, would ever be gentle towards her without some hidden motive.

She wanted to scream, or cry, but instead she asked, voice low, “How did she tell you about me?” There had been a clever woman, once, who’d found a way to use the forest birds as carrier pigeons. Another had tried to paint a distress message on the wall outside her window, though she had been caught.

“There are stories about you,” the woman said. “And now that we’ve found you, there won’t be any more.”

That would be true. Michiru would never open her doors or her heart again. But she would not give this sneak the satisfaction of killing her.

She was a beast, after all. What could a beast do but fight to survive?

Quick as a snake, she shot up and grabbed the gun, crushing  the barrel in her claws. The woman’s face lost all color. Michiru threw it aside. She took the woman by the neck. “Your way is quite a dirty method of hunting a monster, isn’t it?” She tightened her grip as the woman gasped. “Did you think you could convince me I was too human to fight you? Did you think I’d fall in love and just lie down to die when you took it away?”

“Michiru!”

Michiru let the woman collapse and turned on Haruka before she could enter the room. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?”

Haruka shook her head, stepping back down the hall.

“I should have known. You could have no real interest in me. It was a game. You wanted my guard down so that you and your friends could have a bit of sport.”

“No, I don’t know who that is, Michiru, please—“

“Why should I believe you?” She grabbed the front of Haruka’s shirt, claws raking over and into the soft skin beneath. “Do you think I’m so gullible as to think it’s a coincidence this happens as soon as your friend shows up?” She shoved her against the wall. “You nearly played me for a fool. You nearly had me.”

“No I—“

“Don’t!” She threw Haruka to the ground. “You denied my monstrousness to hide your own. Leave this place.”

“Michi—“

She swung her claws into the wall, leaving scores in the stone. “I will not be humiliated further!”

Uneven footsteps sounded down the hall. Michiru turned at just the moment for a thrown object to smack her across the face.

Minako stopped and removed her other shoe. “Let her go.”

Michiru looked at the shoe on the floor, then back to Minako. “You’re unarmed.” She laughed. “Oh, you did think you played the game well, didn’t you?” She approached slowly. There was a perverse joy, sometimes, in being a monster. There were moments where she felt sweet vindication in how the world saw her, and whatever self hatred would come after, those times washed over her tongue like well-aged wine.

Minako kicked, and Michiru let her heel catch her chin. The cut of her teeth against her cheek felt right. A lady never made the first strike. And now—

And now Haruka was at their feet, bleeding on the ground between them. “Don’t.” She looked from Michiru to Minako and back again. “Please don’t.”

“I’m not letting her hurt you more,” Mina said, still brandishing her shoe as though it were a weapon.

“Mina, please.”

It hit Michiru like another bullet. Something inside her burst and bled.

Haruka plead for them both. Haruka had not lied.

Minako had believed Haruka was in danger. And Michiru had proved her right.

“No,” she whispered, retreating. “No.” She tore at the shoulders of her dress with her claws. “No.”

“Michiru…” Haruka stood, shaky.

“No. Stay away.” Every worst thing she’d ever believed about herself had been right. Everything except that she was unlovable, and that was much, much worse. “Stay away from me.”

“I didn’t—“

“I know.” Her claws raked through the gown, against her scales, it did not matter. “Don’t get any closer.”

Haruka stopped, listening to caution, it seemed, for once in her life. It was good, it was right, and still Michiru’s heart sunk lower.

“Rei!”

Michiru did not turn in time to see the prompt for Minako’s exclamation. She heard the gun, and this time whoever it was was smart enough to go for a headshot.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

docholligay:

Happy (late) Birthday! This is an entry for “Allegiances, Promises, and the Truth” in the Rei and Mina category. I hope you enjoy it! While CT isn’t your thing, your recent writing about it caught me and I wound up here. (Let me know if the formatting gets weird and I’ll resubmit)

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From far off, it looked like the palace lawn was covered in crows. People moved differently when mourning, they shuffled and ruffled like birds unable to take flight with grief weighing so heavy upon them. It isn’t even your grief to bear, Rei thought as she drew closer to the crowd, cloaked in black herself. You don’t know anything.

But she was not here to pass judgement. She had been ordered to find one person, one needle in the stack of feathers.

Luckily, the needle was tall and blonde and even less at ease than everyone else there.

Haruka lit up when she saw Rei. Michiru put a hand on her arm, as though to remind her that they were in mourning for the King, and should act accordingly.

“I didn’t think any of you would be out here,” Haruka said anyway. For a moment Rei feared she would hug her, but Michiru reigned her in. “Is Mina coming?”

“No. Only me.”

Haruka frowned. “I know Usagi’s going through a lot, but…” She shook her head. “I should be less selfish, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Rei pressed her lips together. “We’re just… we’re needed. She can’t be alone right now. But she wanted me to be with you today.”

Haruka nodded, but Michiru peered at Rei like she was something in the aqua mirror, something she could see through to the core of. Neither of us saw this coming, Rei thought, so look all you want.

The murmurs of the crowd silenced as the first figures appeared on the balcony— Jupiter and Mercury, black cloaks wrapped around their shoulders to veil the garish colors of their uniforms. They stood to either side of the doorway as Small Lady emerged, followed by the woman everyone waited for.

A black veil was pinned into her odangos, shielding her tear-rimmed eyes from view. Her dress was simple, long and black and loose, pooling at her feet.

“Thank you,” she began. “Thank you all for sharing the warmth of your hearts, today, as we grieve the passing of Endymion, beloved king, gentle husband, kind father…”

Michiru’s eyes widened. Rei stayed silent. She watched Haruka through the speech, waited for any moment of recognition. But there was nothing, save for one shiny tear as Small Lady took the microphone and gave a measured end to the speech over the muffled sound of sobs.

“She should have waited until she was ready,” Haruka said after. “Usagi’s too raw now.”

Michiru looked between Haruka and Rei. When Rei stayed silent, she gave a weak smile. “It’s important that she shows what strength she has. The kingdom cannot appear vulnerable.”

It was the truth in its rawest terms, and Rei prayed everyone would remember that as she approached Serenity’s chambers later.

“Rei?”

“I’m here.” She entered, feeling wrong, taking things in piece by piece.

The palace had always been spotless, but now no one was permitted in to clean. Sheets were strewn about the room, soft white curves masking the harsh shine of the crystal floors. The mourning veil sat stark against the creams of the pillows, odangos and loose hair almost blending into their surroundings in comparison. The gown was only half removed, clasps undone to bear back and shoulders, but it seemed grief and taken over after that, and without intervention it would stay half-on for the rest of the night, if not for days.

“Did you find her?”

“I did. She’s doing well.” Rei knew the real question, and spoke carefully. “She had hoped to see—“

“She won’t see Mina for a very long time.” She sat up, careless of how her dress slipped further down. “She doesn’t know, does she?”

Rei cast her eyes away. “No. I think Michiru does, but she will not tell unless I say to.”

“Mmm.” She leaned back. “You can look, you know. I always figured you thought about it. I did. And now why not?”

“Why not?” Rei fought down the fiery bile of anger rising in her throat. Grief warps things, she told herself.

“You can’t tell me you never wanted your Princess.” She stood now, wobbling, drunk on her own tears. “You could have her, now.”

“Don’t.”

“You’ve taken the knee for your Princess all your life, and now—“

“I said don’t, Mina.”

Mina shrunk away, looking just the way Usagi always had when Rei got too sharp, except it didn’t reach her eyes. Her eyes were still hers, too hard, too forceful, too deep a blue to be Usagi’s.

“If we have to do this,” she said. “I just thought we could have some fun.” Tears welled up, and she wiped them away roughly. “I debated if we needed an Endymion, so you should be grateful.”

Another time, Rei might have been angry at the suggestion. Or maybe have laughed. She couldn’t be sure, now. “Admitting his death gives you a lot of room,” she said carefully instead. “And I don’t think I could play the part convincingly.”

Mina smiled with Usagi’s mouth. “Yeah, I always told you I was the best actress. And now you know it’s true.” The smile twisted, fake now, pain now. “Even my best friend couldn’t see past my disguise. I’m just that good.”

“Mina…”

She laughed. “Maybe we should have done this all along. Usagi hated meetings, and diplomacy, and I hated having her vulnerable. Maybe I should have taken her place all the time, and then maybe—“

“They weren’t killed at a state function, Mina.”

“I. Fucking. Know.” Her glamour dropped, and she threw the disguise pen at Rei’s head. “Nothing fucking matters.” Her body, really hers for the first time in days, shook. “I should just go back on my word, who cares if this place burns?”

You do. But Rei knew better than to say it.

“Do you know how hard it is too look in the mirror and see her? To know I failed and she died and still see her?”

“It’s hard to see you look like her.”

Mina barked a false laugh. “Please. You don’t see me look like her. You see her. You wouldn’t know if you hadn’t seen her give me the pen.”

“I would know.” Rei strode towards her and put her hands on her shoulders. “There’s differences, up close. Haruka would see that, too, if you let her.”

“You’re too bad an actress to even lie well.” Mina wavered, broke. She let Rei pull her into her chest as she sobbed. “I don’t want to do this,” she gasped. “I don’t want to lose myself for her.” Rei rubbed her back slowly. “I always feared Venus would take me over someday, but this is worse.”

“You told me to kill you once, if that happened. You claimed to be drunk, but I knew you were giving a real order.”

“And you would have done it for me. You would have kept your promise.” Mina took a few shaky breaths. “I thought she might take over, with Serenity gone. I thought the loss might trigger Silver Millenium memories too strongly. But she doesn’t want this duty any more than I do.”

“You’re stronger than her. Than anyone.”

“I’d rather be weak. I’d rather be weak and have Haruka and you and everyone else see me than be strong enough to do this.”

“I know,” Rei said, knowing exactly how untrue it was. “It’s only for a little while. Just until Small Lady come of age.” The moment she could use the crystal, the moment she could make a show of it and keep enemies at bay, they would end this.

“Which might be tomorrow, or might be another hundred years.” Mina pulled back and retrieved the disguise pen off the floor. “I got a raw deal, Rei. All these years of service, and she finds a way to ask more of me.” She spun the pen in her hand, changing once again into Usagi. “And I’m sucker enough to promise her.”

“I’m here,” Rei said. “I’m here for whatever you need.”

Usagi-Mina smiled. “Loyal as you are, I’ll never be sure who you’re here for.” She stood, now, with all of Mina’s strength and all Usagi’s power. “As your queen and as your general, I command you to leave the palace. I will send for you if your services are needed.”

“Mina…”

“Go, Rei.”

She did, wondering if it would have been better to defy the order and stay, but wondering more who she really would have been staying for.

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This is FUCKING GENIUS. I cannot believe I never thought of it, I am borderline furious at myself, because this is the best of all possible angst, Mina having to be Serenity because she failed to protect her? Holy shit yes please. Also the IMAGERY in this. Thank you! 

Ahhhhh I’m so glad this came through alright and you liked it!

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

Chapter 14 of BatB! Catch up, read, comment, the end is approaching!


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Hotaru stopped the car and turned to Mina. “Are you sure about this? There’s still time to back out.”

“I should be saying that to you. I’ve got the reason to be here.”

“Please, this is too cool for me to back out now.” But she hesitated with her hand on the door handle, staring ahead. “You think there’s any chance Teenie’s great gran is still in there somehow?”

“It would hardly be the weirdest thing in this scenario.” Minako squinted at Hotaru in the dark. “Is that why you’ve been so interested in my case?”

“Nah, I hardly even believed the whole thing until we were here. I just like to annoy Rei.” She grinned. “But since it is real… it would be nice if they got a little closure, one way or another.”

“Well, what’s better closure than killing the damn monster?” Mina opened her door. “Let’s do this.”

As soon as Hotaru disappeared around the corner to sneak in, Mina’s bravado deserted her. They’d decided she was safer unarmed, in case the monster would notice. She had nothing to protect her but natural charm. She had a lot of it, but faced with the big oak door in the dark, it didn’t feel like enough.

Minako knocked hard anyway, and then pushed her way inside. “Hello?” She yelled. Her voice echoed against the walls and made her feel small. “Haruka?”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

The voice sounded close, but Minako saw nothing.

“Come back later, tomorrow. Not now.”

Minako whipped her head, trying to find the voice. The entrance hall was empty, she was alone.

“Quick, go, please.”

She saw it— the faintest outline of a person. “You don’t scare me.”

“I’m not trying to. Haruka is busy, so—“

Mina punched the ghost, just to try it. Her fist went straight through, like she’d swung at a cold patch of mist.

“You’re going to ruin everything,” said the ghost, Mina’s hand still in her face. She disappeared completely.

“Mina!” Haruka burst into the room, dressed like some old-timey dignitary. Any other time, Minako would be unable to resist a jab, but now she was filled with dread. “I knew you’d find me.” She tackled her into a hug before she could respond.

Mina gasped for breath. “You’re okay?”

“I’m great, but my phone died and my truck ran out of gas, I’m sorry if you worried.”

“I—“

There it was. It stood in the doorway, watching them like prey. The monster was even worse when you could see the length of its claws and the texture of its scales. It liked dress up, it seemed— it was wrapped in some approximation of a dress that only highlighted the wrong angles of its body— and that struck Mina as horrifically perverse.

“Haruka,” she whispered, tugging her towards the door.

“Oh, of course!” Haruka let go and turned around. “Mina, this is Michiru. Michiru, this is Mina.”

The monster locked eyes with her and inclined its head. “Haruka has told me so much about you.”

“Only bad things, I hope.” She put a hand on Haruka’s shoulder. “We should get going.”

“But—“

“I’m in a rental car, I have to return it in the morning,” Mina lied quickly. “I didn’t think my baby would make the trip.”

“That’s why you should let me take a look at it—“

“Haruka.”

She sighed. “Fine.”

The monster’s eyes flicked over. One move, and I’ll take you down, unarmed or not. But the thing stayed still. “It’s rather late,” it said quietly. “If you wanted to stay and leave in the morning…”

“Too far, sorry.”

The monster frowned. Haruka went to her, grabbing her shoulders. “Hey, I’m gonna come back, don’t worry.”

Like hell. But that was a fight for after they’d driven away.

“I’ll get a good tank of gas and I’ll visit on weekends.” She put her hand in her hair. “God, the shop must be falling apart without me.”

“I promised I wouldn’t keep you.”

“And I’m promising I’m coming back.” Haruka squeezed the monster’s claws. “Okay, can I change quick?” She asked Mina, “My clothes are upstairs.”

“Yeah, buddy, go ahead.”

The monster’s gaze returned to her as Haruka left. “You have no intention of letting her return, do you?”

“Nope.”

“Mm.” The monster looked down. “That’s for the best.” It slithered back a few paces. “She was never mine to keep. Tell her I have no wish to see her.” It retreated further. “I beg your pardon, but I must go. It was a pleasure to meet you.” The monster turned and left.

“Michiru, wait!” The ghost from before reappeared, this time taking more form. It was short and blonde and the slightest bit familiar in a way Mina could not place. She turned on Mina. “They were so close, she was so close.” She pushed at Mina’s shoulder, more solid now but too weak to carry her malice.

Mina felt uneasy as the ghost began to cry. She wasn’t sure what was worse, if the monster was staging a counter-show to her diversion, or if everything playing out was genuine. Mina had been expecting a fight. Mina had been expecting a possessive monster, a violent monster, the one she had seen on the balcony. This was wrong. This was all wrong.

“Okay,” Haruka said, reemerging in her jeans. “I—“ She stopped. “Usagi? What’s wrong?”

The ghost launched itself at Haruka. “You have to go after her! She doesn’t want you to leave.”

That was the behavior Mina had expected. Perhaps this was an act after all, the monster putting her words in another’s mouth to appear sympathetic.

“I’m not leaving forever, Usagi, Michiru knows that.”

“Ask her if you’re coming back.” The ghost pointed at Mina. “She’s gonna take you away and we’re going to be alone here forever.”

“Usagi,” another ghost appeared, tall and commanding. “We can’t keep Haruka here.”

“Mina,” Haruka said slowly. “You can’t stop me from coming back.”

“We’ll be okay either way, Haruka,” said the second ghost. “Remember what you promis—“

“She has to stay!”

“No, Usagi, she has to go.”

“We can talk about it later, Haruka,” Mina said over the din of the ghosts. “Right now I just want to get you home safe.”

“I’m already safe.”

“I saw her hurt you,” Mina hissed. “I saw—“

“She’s changed.”

“It hasn’t even been a week, no one changes—“

A gunshot shocked them all to silence.

“We have to go.” Mina grabbed Haruka’s arm, but she yanked it away.

“What did you do?”

“Another conversation for the car. Now please, let’s just—“

Haruka ran, not away but back toward the monster. One of the ghosts tackled Mina from behind. Mina fell, her breath rushing out of her all at once. “How could you?”

“Usagi—“

“No, Mako, Michiru was going to fall in love and we were going to be free and now it’s all ruined.”

“Usagi,” that larger ghost said. “If Michiru is hurt, you’re needed.”

It got off Mina, but not without a final wail.

Mako knelt at Mina’s side as Usagi left. “Are you alright?”

Mina grunted. “Fuck off.”

The ghost huffed. “Get up, then, and get your friend out of here. Whatever you have to do, do it.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.” Mina pushed up from the ground. It didn’t matter what was an act and what was real. She was taking Haruka home.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

And we’ve come to Chapter 13 of HaruMichi BatB! I hope you enjoy it, writing it was, dare I say it, a ball. (Masterpost link)

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This had been easy, once upon a time. Michiru had dressed effortlessly, descended into a crowd of hundreds, and found those nights on the whole boring. But tonight, it had taken great labor by her and Makoto and Usagi to find something she could wear, and she trembled to think of standing before one person. She couldn’t do this, she was too–

If you believe the worst of yourself, you’ll show the worst of yourself.

She took a deep breath. She would try, for Haruka. She had to try. Makoto had done brilliantly with the dress, ripping out seams and sewing it anew so the skirt wrapped closer to her body and did not get pulled by the movement of her tail. She’d padded the cap sleeves, to make Michiru’s shoulders less severe, and twined her hair around her head with streaks of gold thread. There was nothing to be done about the claws, or the tail.

She did not look pretty. Michiru stared into the mirror. She did, however, look better than she ever had in this form. Perhaps that might be enough for Haruka to not rescind her offer of a dance.

Mako took her hand and led her to the ballroom, just as she had countless times before.

“You went to her,” Michiru whispered, knowing Makoto would understand the question.

“She did not know what to wear.”

A lie by omission, Michiru was sure, but she forced a smile anyway. “She would look handsome in anything.”

Makoto gave a small huff of a chuckle. “Haruka would be as hard to convince on that as you would be.” She sighed. “She seems…” But then she shook her head, and for once Michiru could not read her.

The first long-traveling notes of music made her way to her. The slow rise of the violin wove fear into her bones.

“This is a mistake.”

“No, my lady, I will carry you in there if I have to.”

“The last ball I attended…” I publically humiliated a man and set the board for my own defeat.

“This is nothing like that,” Mako said. “Nothing you say will convince me to let you turn around.”

“Who is who’s lady, Makoto?”

Makoto stopped. “You are lucky, Michiru, that neither Usagi or I have the same cruel streak as you.” She again became more solid, and tightened her grip. “I believe we are long past our notions of servitude and nobility. We have cared for you long past what was ever expected of us.”

Michiru looked down. “I apologize. If… If I manage to break the curse, you are free to go.”

“I don’t want to abandon you, I just want to be your friend. Your equal.”

Michiru looked at her, wondering for the first time if that had been her wish all these years, from when she first came to the house as a young girl, rather than some attempt for social climbing. “Your friendship is not a gift I am worthy of,” she said carefully, “but I will accept it gladly.”

Makoto smiled, pulled her had and gave her a twirl. “You can still dance,” she said, less stern now.

“Well, I haven’t lost everything.”

She laughed. “Let’s get you to the ball, Michiru.”

The music grew louder, and then they came to the doors. Makoto raised Michiru’s clawed hand to her mouth and kissed it with ghost-feather lips. “Good luck, my lady. My friend.”

Michiru took a deep breath, and then pushed inside.

Makoto had brought her to the balcony entrance. She slid over to the banister. Haruka stood near the foot of the stairs, miming a dance she clearly did not know. Michiru’s breath caught. Haruka was dressed like the military men of Michiru’s day, though she lacked the severity and bravado. She was a painting, a dream, a sculpting of all a woman should be, handsome and good and brave. Michiru would be content to watch her forever.

She turned in her dance and noticed Michiru. She immediately dropped her arms.

Neither of them moved. Neither of them spoke. Music tangled around them, pulling the tension tighter and tighter. Someone had to do something. Someone had to be brave.

Haruka had been brave enough. Michiru dared make a start for the staircase.

Haruka followed her with her eyes. Despite the feel of her body conforming to the shape of every stair, Michiru did not feel ugly or monstrous. She felt as though this were any other time she had entered a ball, except now she entered it for someone. She descended, the music rose, and it was all for Haruka. Nothing else mattered.

Haruka’s cheeks were pink when she reached the bottom. “You, um. You look nice.”

“You don’t have to say that,” Michiru said. She drew her arms around herself. “We don’t have to do this at all.”

“I wanted to thank you for the flowers.”

“And you have.”

Haruka bit her lip. “I also wanna dance with you, even though I don’t know how.”

Why? But she could not bare to ask. She wanted things Haruka could not give her, that it would be unfair to ask. But she wanted, deep as the sea.

So she curtsied as best she could, and offered her hand. Haruka looked alarmed. Fear rose in Michiru’s throat, of course Haruka would not take her hand, of course Haruka had not thought through dancing enough to realize it meant touching, how could she ever choose to touch such an abhorrent creature.

But then Haruka did a wobbly cursy of her own, looking up to Michiru in askance.

Michiru almost wanted to laugh. “If you’re leading, you bow rather than curtsy.”

“Oh…” Haruka righted herself. “Makoto said to follow you.”

“I see.” Michiru had never in her long life danced the lead, though she knew the steps well enough. “Then, yes, you curtsy, keep your feet steady… good.” With all the courage she could find in her small heart, Michiru bowed and accepted her hand.

“The follow sets the distance between dancers,” Michiru said. Haruka’s eyes met hers, and she stepped in very close.

“Where do I put my other hand?” Michiru could feel the tickle of her breath.

“Here.” She guided her to her shoulder. “And may I…?” She hovered her own hand above the small of Haruka’s back.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Michiru trembled. No woman had let her be so close since the change. Others had had the idea to woo her into submission, to tame the monster with love so as to make their escape, but none had been able to follow through on letting something so horrible touch them. But Haruka did not pull away. She did not flinch as Michiru’s claws pressed into the fine weave of her jacket. She did not take her smooth warm hand from Michiru’s rough and clammy counterpart.

She smiled instead. “You have to promise not to laugh at me, okay?”

Michiru would not dream of it. She was hardly superb herself, lacking feet. The music swelled, and she concentrated on swaying her body to approximate steps. Haruka stumbled along, working just as hard, it seemed, to not look at her feet.

“You are doing very well.”

“Really? I think I’m not.”

“You said you did not attend your balls, did you not? Having no experience, you must be a natural.”

Haruka snorted. “Now you’re being too nice.”

“No one could ever be too nice to you.”

The song slowed to its end, the echos of musicians long gone caught their breath before launching into another— something softer, more romantic.

“Are you sure this is alright?”

“It was my idea.”

“Yes, but…” Michiru loosened her grip. “I don’t think you thought through that you’d have to touch me.”

“I’m not that stupid,” Haruka said, a laugh on the edge of her voice. “And you’re not nearly as scary as you think you are, once the surprise wears off.”

“Scary or not, I’m… You ought to dance with a woman. A real one.”

“And I am.” Haruka pulled her a little closer. She moved her hand down to Michiru’s back, and Michiru felt her take the lead instinctively. Haruka knew no real steps, but they glided along to the rhythm as naturally as they might wade through the soft tides of the sea.

She was in Haruka’s hands now, fully, rawly. Truly, deeply. She could be lifted or she could be crushed. Michiru had nothing left to guard herself. Her shell was cracked, broken open, no words, no scales nor claws, could keep Haruka from finding her cold little heart and doing what she would with it.

Michiru looked into Haruka’s eyes, her beautiful, life-giving eyes, and tried to find the catch, tried to find the fear or the abhorrence that would prove this all a farce. She saw only kindness, and, if she dared let herself believe, affection.

Michiru wanted to believe. Michiru wanted to nurture whatever might have grown in Haruka’s heart into something bigger. Something that could make her smile every day.

With only a moment’s hesitation, she slid her body down, letting her dress drag against the floor until she was the height she’d been as a human, and then rested her head against Haruka’s chest. It did not matter that her hair would leave grease marks on the jacket, that Haruka could pull away at any moment and break her. For once in her life, Michiru wanted to be as small and vulnerable.

Haruka stopped dancing. Michiru braced herself for the harsh storm of rejection.

Instead, she felt Haruka wrap her arms tight around her. Michiru could not help but wince as her chin rested on the top of her head.

“It’s nice to hold you.”

“That can’t be true.”

“It is, Michiru, and one day you’ll believe me.”

Michiru swallowed hard. “Are you imagining me as you saw in the mirror? Can you bear to touch me because you can invision me with the curse broken?”

Haruka pulled away just enough to look at her. “No, I see you.”

“I do not understand.”

“Michi, I think…” She withdrew one hand to scratch nervously at the back of her head. “I mean, I know. I know I like—“

Michiru wanted. She wanted so badly, and yet fear dragged sharp as her own claws through her belly. “No.”

“No?”

“You can’t, I’m not… Why would you?”

“Because you’re a person!” Haruka gripped her shoulders. “And I like being around you, and when you try to do nice things, you make me really happy.”

“I’ve done far more cruel things than kind ones.”

“And I forgive you.” She stepped close again. “I’m not saying… I can’t promise anything, not yet. I’m trying to be reasonable for once in my life.  But I like you.”

Michiru let herself be held. She let herself be small. “I’ve felt affection for you from the night you arrived. You’re…” She swallowed the fear. “You’re something extraordinary.”

“So are you.” Haruka traced small circles against Michiru’s sleeves. “It’s kind of amazing someone like you would like someone like me.”

“Haruka, I’m a monster.”

“Yeah but like, a classy one.”

Michiru laughed, and then tears stung at her eyes. She looked down to hide them. Haruka had not tried to deny what she was. Perhaps Haruka did see her. Perhaps things she wanted were not the most impossible ideas.

“Michi… would it be okay if… Um, could I try…”

Michiru looked up, unwilling to make a guess at what Haruka might ask, though her heart pounded ahead of her at a sprinter’s pace. The music had grown ever softer, it caressed them like a soft blanket, wrapping them close.

Haruka bit her lip and cast her eyes lower on MIchiru’s face. They couldn’t… and yet…

And then, from out of the room and down the hall, a bang against the front door cut through the song.

“Hello? Haruka?”

“That’s Mina!” Haruka said, her face lighting up as she pulled away. “Oh, I can’t wait for you to meet her.” She ran to the door.

Michiru stared after her. She ought to have known by now, that reality would have to crash in. There were no fairy tales for monsters like her.