This is just to keep my self in the decent mind space I’ve gotten myself into but I!! chose!!! optimism!! today!!! Optimism!!! Is!!! Hard!!! but!! I!!! chose!!! it!!!!!
It’s my natural inclination, in a way, but I’ve been beaten down from it lately by a lot of things including my anxiety so I’m just going to take a moment and be proud of myself. Like, the thing is for me, optimism is action. Focusing on positive outcomes is action. It’s not thinking everything will go my way, it’s that each thing has the potential to, and so everything is worth believing in and trying for. And that can take so much energy, and it doesn’t pay off all the time or even most of the time, but sometimes it does. I’m choosing to value the times it does over all the times it doesn’t. And I’m choosing to value that when it doesn’t pan out, believing it could lead me to take the steps to know that for sure so I’m left with fewer what ifs. I’m going to keep trying, and keep hoping. I’m not going to let myself despair. I’m not going to let my fears eat at me.
Today was a small thing, but it also wasn’t. I did something. Something hard, that I almost didn’t do, but that I really believe was worth it.
SittingOverHereDreaming 