Tag: personal

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

my mom, about reading fun home, which is about a butch lesbian: oh my gosh this just reminds me so much of you

my mom, like five minutes later: so do you like, want to be a man

me: no, I’ve been leaning towards butch, as in butch lesbian. I’m not a man.

my mom: so you don’t want surgery?

me: …no. I am. not a boy.

this is not the first time she’s asked, I’d understand asking once but she’s done it before. and like, SHE IS READING A TRUE STORY OF A BUTCH LESBIAN. IT’S RIGHT THERE. THERE IS A REASON IT REMINDS HER OF ME. I don’t want to really discuss my gender identity with her because I know she’ll take “not 100% girl” as boy, and the one thing I know for sure about my gender is I am not a boy. 

and I’m not even fully butch, my mom saw me in a dress all of a month ago.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

sometimes it feels like street harassers can sense when I’m having days when I feel happy and androgynous/agender/whatever, and they’re like, that person who has a vagina and boobs feels like they can be something other than a woman, better remind them that we’ll never see them as anything else and that gives us power! I almost never have street harassment when I’m feeling 100% girl.

granted I don’t know if today technically counts as street harassment, a guy in a cheese suit (like, a cheese costume. no idea if he was working for one of the store or if he was just like. I feel like dressing as cheese today) grabbed me and kissed my head after declaring that he liked my hair (“her hair”), so I have no idea what to call that. except unpleasant.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

I was tagged in one of those 92 truths things, and am doing it just because I love backat-itagain, and because hey, some of you might like reading these things like I do.

I was tagged by: backat-itagain

What was your –
Last Drink: Coffee
Last Phone Call: The NY blood center called me (I like donating blood but the rules about tattoos here mean I can’t for another month or two)
Last Text Message: “Ha, I’m sure he will be,” in regards to the new roommate being cool with my friend moving her stuff out later today
Last Song Listened to: apparently, “Dream Yume wa Ookiku”
Last Time I Cried: hm. Normally I’m a cry every day over fictional shsit girl, but in an astounding record-breaking event, I think the last time I cried was last Tuesday, when I saw Fun Home again.

Have you Ever –
Dated someone twice: Nope
Been Cheated On: Not so far as I know
Kissed someone and regretted it:Not specifically, although in a general way I regret kissing boys
Lost Someone Special: I have been very lucky, so no
Been/Are Depressed: possibly
Been Drunk And Thrown Up: nope
List 3 Favorite Colors: nnnn um, Purple, Pink, and Green (it’s boring but I can’t pick shades, I can barely pick broad colors)

In The Last Year Have You –
Made a new friend: Yes!! (Hi Karla!!)
Fallen Out of Love: Maybe
Laughed till you cried: Yes
Meet Someone Who Changed You: hrm. I dunno.
Found out who your real friends are: Sort of
Found out someone was talking about you: Nope
Kissed Anyone on your FB list:  Haha, no. Haven’t kissed anyone in the past year.

General –
How many people on your FB friends do you know IRL: Almost all of them?
Do you have any pets: Back home I have my cat Oreo, who I love dearly but who I don’t think will ever come live with me because my dad got very attached to him after I left (He feeds him meat during dinner now, and pets weren’t even allowed in the kitchen before)
Do You Want To Change Your Name: No, but if I could get everyone to never call me Samantha, I would
What did you do for your last birthday party: It wasn’t a party, but I had a lovely time hanging out with my friend Alice.
What time did you wake up today:haha like 10:40. I need a job
What were you doing at midnight last night: Getting ready for bed.

Name something you CANNOT wait for: UN NOVEAU VOYAGE.
Last Time You Saw Your Mother:  May 20th
What is one thing you would change about your life: um. I would give myself a job right now. (kidding, ish, I’m mostly happy with my life and the bad shit is part of what got me here, so I can’t say I’d want it different) 
What are you listening to rn: Nothing
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes                          
What’s getting on your nerves rn: writer’s block.      
Blood type: A+

Nicknames: I guess Sam is sort of a nickname?
Relationship Status: Single
Zodiac Sign: Gemini
Pronouns: She/Her/Hers or They/Them/Theirs
High School: Graduated 2011
College: Just graduated
Hair Color: Blonde with the red roots coming in
Long or Short: short
Height: 5′4
Do you have a crush on someone: always. I get restless without some sort of crush
What do you like about yourself: Everything. I’m very vain.
Tattoos: Moon Pride on my hip and an Utena rose on my chest
Righty or Lefty: Righty
First Surgery: I’ve never had surgery
First piercing: Ears when I was like five
First Best Friend: Josh, who was born when I was three months old, so I knew him almost my whole life. He moved away in second grade, but we stayed in touch off and on. And funnily enough, we’re both gay.
First Sport You Joined: Softball.

Rn –
Eating : Nothing 
Drinking : Coffee
I’m about: to post this?               
Listening to: this was already a question? I still don’t have music on
Waiting: For a job. And for that literary agent to respond to the stories she requested.
Want Kids: NO.                                      
Get Married: Yessss. 
Career: I either want to be an editor or an agent. Or a bestselling author 😛 The former are supposed to be my “realistic” plans, but in practice they’re seeming just as unlikely at the moment.

Which is better-                                                                                                     Lips or Eyes: Both are kind of important?                                                       Hugs or Kisses: Depends on the context?
Shorter or Taller: Hahahah. This is something my friends always ask in their eternal quest to find my type. But I don’t have a preference. Tall girls are really hot. Short girls are really hot. Girls who are almost exactly my height are really hot. Just. girls, man.
Older or Younger: Around my age?
Romantic or Spontaneous: This question always seems strange to me. Romantic, I guess?                                                           
Nose, Stomach, or Nice Arms: ARMS.                                         
Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive, I guess?
Hook up or Relationship: Relationship              
Trouble Maker or Hesitant: Hesitant, I suppose

Have you ever –

Kissed a stranger: Nope
Drunk Hard Liquor: Yep
Lost Glasses/contacts: Nope
Sex on first date: HAHA. no.
Broken someones heart: probably.
Been arrested: Nope
Turn someone down: I don’t think so
Cried when someone died: Yes

Do You Believe –
In Yourself: yes
Miracles: there’s no such thing as miracles *Juri’s first duel song starts playing*
Love at first sight: Nope
Heaven: sort of
Kiss on the first date: sure?
Angels: not really?

not tagging anyone, but feel free to do it?

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

So I’ve been watching Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, because I love trash from time to time, and last night I got to Lindsay Shaw’s first appearance. Something clicked and I had a moment like, Holy shit I’ve been gay since Ned’s Declassified.
Which, obviously, I’ve always been gay, and my first crush happened before middle school, but it’s hilarious/boggling to me that I never identified my middle school crush on Moze as a crush.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

Cut because of sappiness.

Last night I went to see Fun Home again. I had it in mind as my last irresponsible act as a 21 year old, but it was only as I headed home after that I realized it was the neatest end I could have given my 21st year.

21 was big for a lot of reasons (I graduated, for one), but for me the biggest thing was figuring out who I am. I think a lot of my family and friends think this year was just when I came out of the closet to them. Truthfully, this is the year I broke through everything and admitted to myself that I’m actually, truly, 100% gay. 

And so seeing Fun Home again last night, even though there’s a much bigger story than just Allison’s sexuality, it felt like I saw my own triumphs there on stage, and it felt poetic that it was the last thing I did in that year of my life.

Bringing in 22, I hope that this year has even bigger things in store.
And I hope that wearing this shirt with one of my favorite lines from Fun Home proves to be just as poetic as seeing it last night was.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

Low on sleep, so I’m going to be a sap for a minute.

So like, obviously this isn’t the greatest time for me, graduation and all the related academic and family stuff is stressful on its own, plus now I’m down to a week to find a job and a home and no one’s getting back to me.

But all of you are really great. The people I follow post so many things that make me feel happier, and the people who follow me, well, every time you click like or reblog, even on thing’s I’ve only reblogged, it makes me feel that much less alone. And I love this all the more because it’s something I can hold on to no matter what happens in the coming days. This will be here if my only wifi is from Starbucks/McDonalds or if I have to move back home or if most anything happens. With so much up in the air right now, that’s really a huge comforting thing.

So this is really just me thanking all of you for being on tumblr and doing what you do. You are all amazing and I love you. ♥

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

Update on THE GIRL, because I’m sure everyone is deeply invested in my romantic life

  • By divine intervention I found her okc profile (by which I mean someone named Divine started chatting with me, and when I checked out her profile this girl popped up as a suggestion) 
  • SHE IS INTO GIRLS
  • I saw her today?? but she was sick and on her way to the doctor so I couldn’t ask her to hang out. 
  • BUT this gives me an excuse to message her in a few days and ask if she’s feeling better
  • I’m hoping that her choosing to walk and talk with me for a little bit even while not feeling well is a good sign