me: i am feeling pretty okay
news: two people just got shot in the subway station you use everyday, specifically the entrance you always use because it is a block from your apartment
me: …
Tag: personal
Okay, dearest followers, I think there are some things I need to say.
I have not been on tumblr much lately, because I have been going through things. I am scared and confused and my focus/energy for posting just isn’t there a lot of the time. But even when it is, I’ve been backing off. Tumblr has been such a good outlet for me, and I want to keep using it. So.
- If there is any gender identity I could have that would make you unfollow me, please go ahead and unfollow me now.
Even if we’re friends or mutuals or whatever. I am trying to figure out what I am, and I have so much fear that I’d like to just eliminate any fear I have of losing people on here. It’s a small thing, but it’ll help. And it’s okay! Gender influences how we perceive people, so of COURSE you might feel differently about me if I’m genderqueer or agender or even a boy than you will if I kept identifying as a woman. But I don’t want to avoid accepting whatever label ends up feeling right because I know this friend will stop talking to me, or that cool person will stop following me.
So this might be goodbye for some of us, and that’s okay.
WE HAVE A PLUMBER COMING TODAY TO FIX OUR SHOWER SO IT ACTUALLY CONNECTS TO THE HOT WATER.
Fingers crossed it works and I can finally take a warm shower tonight.I wish replies where a thing still but this is my roommate and i did indeed make fun of them for needing the shower to be boiling hot but im eating my words and skipping class to meet this plumber bc holy crap it’s getting cold and stepping into a 50 degree shower is painful
A) this is what happens when you make fun of me, take note
B) THANK YOU KARLA
C) it worked!!!! I got a decently hot shower!! I’m so happy!!
WE HAVE A PLUMBER COMING TODAY TO FIX OUR SHOWER SO IT ACTUALLY CONNECTS TO THE HOT WATER.
Fingers crossed it works and I can finally take a warm shower tonight.
Also quick pronoun/gender update:
I go back and forth between feeling aggressively agender and AGGRESSIVELY A BUTCH WOMAN, so while I’m transitioning to using they in real life, y’all are welcome to keep using she for me.
Is there a “shit parents say to their lgbtq kids” bingo? because I’m sure i hit some new squares tonight
Dearest @docholligay tagged me/gave me this wonderful excuse to talk about myself, so here goes.
One insecurity: I’m deeply insecure about my relationships with people tbh
Two fears: Insects, dropping/falling from heights
Three turn-ons: taNK TOPS, when someone is sweet with babies or animals, the particular smile some people get when they talk about something they’re really into
Four life goals: write & publish something that makes at least one person’s life a little bit better, get more secure about all that I am, achieve the financial security and housing needed to be able to have pets again, travel more
Five things I like: coffee, nice perfumes/colognes, hiking, men’s clothes, puns
Six weaknesses: I get super withdrawn very easily, stubborn as hell, competitive to a fault, terrible procrastinator on a lot of things, complete lack of subtlety, I believe too strongly that I can do things when maybe I can’t
Seven things I love: My niece, my best friends, the moments in media that make me sob out of validation, burritos, cats, idealistic characters with swords, the way the air smells in autumn
my boss: So how’s life? Any boyfriends? (then, less seriously) Any girlfriends?
me: well, girlfriends would be more likely.
my boss: *laughs as though I have made a joke*
me: …
Dear everyone:
Don’t send your friends/relatives links to jobs unless it’s seriously their dream position or something. You may mean well but it’S REALLY ANNOYING AND KIND OF CONDESCENDING.
I’m really emotional because today one of my managers asked if I wanted a new name tag that said Sam instead of Samantha.
I’ve been working two weeks and we were given the opportunity to have our name tags be different than our legal names when we got them, but she noticed that I tend to introduce myself as Sam except when I’m with customers and realized I might not have been comfortable asking for a different name right away.
And it’s such a small thing but it felt so nice? And I was told there’s “a whole squad of non-binary people” but it didn’t really hit me what it meant that there’s a bunch of people out at work. This place is accommodating and understanding and I’m kind of crying about it.
I’ve always sort of put gender as a thing I just want to sort out just for myself as I kind of figure I’m always going to outwardly be a cis girl and have those privileges, and like even on here I stick to that mostly, but sometimes things like this that make me feel like there are other options that are tangible and practical and real gets me all ??? and emotional.
For the first time in my life, people aren’t assuming I’m a girl. I was told about the numerous non-binary people because that person figured I might be one of them. And my manager wanted to make sure I was being identified the way I wanted.
It’s kinda strange but wholly wonderful.
(Even though I did keep Samantha because I like having something fully feminine to hide behind in case things go south)
(And I’d never fully stop identifying at least partially as a girl, if only because lesbian is the one label that feels 100% right)
This was supposed to be a short post but I ended up working 12 hours today (by choice, I was told I didn’t have to but I stayed to help cover for someone who was out sick) and I get rambly when I’m tired.
SittingOverHereDreaming 