Come to the the break room and a coworker feels I need to know how terrible my caramel waffle cone frapp is for me.
LET ME HAVE MY SUGAR BOMB IN PEACE
Tag: personal
OKAY I THINK I’M GONNA TRY GOING TO A LESBIAN BAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY. My roommate and I have been meaning to try going to one like… forever.
It’ll probably mostly involve me clutching a jack n’ coke and very pointedly not flirting with anyone, BUT IT COULD BE FUN ANYWAY
Got my entire birthday weekend off by accident just by mentioning it to my boss
SO I OFFICIALLY GRADUATED A YEAR AGO TODAY
I wanted to do a ~retrospective reblog~ but it turns out I never made a post about graduation when it happened. LOtS OF POSTS ABOUT PURSUING A GIRL THOUGH, SOME THINGS DON’T CHANGE.
But mostly, I want to say holy shit, I may not be where I wanted to/expected to be, but I’m in such a better place than I was last year.
ALSO. Join me in laughing at the realization my roommate and I made– I totally count as an employed-within-a-year alumni, and being an English major working in a bookstore I’m even technically in my degree field.
Waving back at someone and then realizing they weren’t waving at you is embarrassing but waving at someone and then having the girl you like, who you had not noticed, wave back and get embarrassed because you weren’t waving at her is possibly worse
okay I’m gonna get back to the fandom posts we’re all here for soon, but I’m still stupid emotional because I’ve been afraid about the girl finding out certain things about me, namely that I bind and had a big questioning phase. But it came up yesterday and she took it better than I could have hoped, we’re clear on me being a woman and she doesn’t think it’s weird (she’s thought about trying it herself). IT’S SILLY TO BE SO RELIEVED, ESPECIALLY SINCE BINDING IS A PRETTY NOTICEABLE THING, BUT I AM.
oh man, I don’t even care about dating, I just want to keep knowing her
The girl never got back to me so I guess we’re not hanging out tomorrow? 
I can’t message her again, sadly, I already double messaged. Even though I’m kind of worried because last time we didn’t have a real plan (well, we knew what but I told her to tell me what time would work) until I messaged like ???are we on for tomorrow or?? (and then that was when things got pushed back a day and she turned it so I had to pick a time) So the same thing could be going on now? Idk she seems so enthusiastic about hanging out but then?? I’m not sure what’s going on.
I’m so mad. I am SUPER PICKY about books. My friends all hate trying to guess if I’ll like something, because while I can casually enjoy most things they might want to share, I don’t LOVE most things. (My best friend gets frustrated, since I have his taste nailed down and can rec books to him with high precision, but he can’t do the same for me)
But the girl just casually recommended a book to me, in a “I’m telling everyone to read this” sort of way, and I picked it up not expecting to like it much. But then I read it in one sitting last night and it’s a direct hit on my taste and I’m. so mad.
As much as I always label things “my brain” and “brian junk,” I always feel it in my chest, and I visualize it as a sort of monster that lives in there– it looks like a little black fox, all curled up inside my ribs and around my heart. Except everything from its fur to its bones is liquid, a consistency somewhere between blood and tar. When it moves, it flows. In sleep, it settles into complete stillness, but when it wakes, it sloshes all round, trying to break out of its cage. My body knows there’s not supposed to be that much liquid crashing around my lungs. That’s why it feels like I’m drowning.
SittingOverHereDreaming 