dragoplateau:

so, uh–the fact that Pearl felt like she had to resort to repairing the escape pod, rebuilding the Communication Hub, and potentially putting the entire planet at risk…to get Garnet to fuse with her again.

it’s a brighter and more blaring signal that she’s neurodivergent and mentally ill, yes, but along with her behavior in “We Need to Talk”–i.e. clearly feeling jealous and uncomfortable about Greg’s presence in Rose’s/their life, yet not (to our knowledge) voicing or discussing this with Rose–also firmly establishes that Pearl has…I guess ‘communication issues’ would be the closest term, but I also feel like that really ought to be elaborated upon?

given what we’ve learned about Pearl’s low self-worth, I can’t read Pearl’s inability to communicate her wants and needs as stemming from anywhere else but a fear of rejection. not just the immediate rejection of “No Pearl, I won’t fuse with you”…but the rejection of her entire self. the unshakeable anxiety, fear, certainty that if she bothers the people around her too much by communicating her feelings, desires, wants, or needs to them–they will become annoyed enough to stop tolerating her presence.

Garnet: It’s you and me, Pearl. Let’s fuse.
Pearl: (starts crying)
Garnet: Don’t cry, Pearl.
Pearl: (forces herself to smile)

Pearl loves fusing with Garnet so much that she is literally moved to tears. yet even though she didn’t mean to, Garnet’s reaction to Pearl’s happiness and relief–Garnet’s change in tone from happy and gentle to still gentle but slightly exasperated; Garnet’s change in expression–communicate to Pearl that she’s being too desperate, that she’s bothering Garnet by crying…so she forces herself to smile.

we know very little about Homeworld at this point, but we do know that Pearl is considered “defective”. that defectiveness carries a sociopolitical stigma that leads gems to experience marginalization and oppression on Homeworkd isn’t that much of a stretch when you consider Pearl’s character as a whole: her low self-worth, her unconditional devotion and love for Rose (the gem who loved and saw the beauty in everything), her prioritization of the people she loves most and feels loved by over her own safety and well-being….

so even though Rose loved Pearl and made her feel like she was everything…even though Pearl saw just as clearly as we did that Garnet loved forming Sardonyx with her and genuinely loves being in her presence–Pearl was still unable to ask Garnet to fuse with her again just because she’s lonely, or because she feels unloved, or because becoming one with Garnet as Sardonyx makes her feel secure, and loved, and powerful. those reasons obviously aren’t good enough; if Pearl voiced them, then Garnet would only get annoyed with her for asking and want to be around her less.

that’s where the need to manufacture such a dire justification stems from. (because Garnet couldn’t possibly want to fuse with her…) Pearl knows it’s wrong too. by the second time she repairs the Communication Hub, she’s overcome by anxiety and dread and guilt over being discovered and lying to Garnet. yet despite all that, Pearl did it, and kept up the charade. that’s the force of her repressed wants and needs and her need for relief–so strong it’s almost like a compulsion.

if you recognize some of this behavior from earlier episodes like “On the Run” and “Reformed”, then you’re right on track….because Amethyst recognizes herself in Pearl too.

Amethyst: I know what she’s doing….
Steven: You do…?

remember how in “On the Run”, Pearl revealed that Amethyst had never told her that she believed herself to be a mistake before their confrontation? remember how in “Reformed”, Amethyst was unable to answer the Crying Breakfast Friends quiz honestly because she didn’t want to think about herself, or give Steven the “wrong” answer? remember how Amethyst kept reforming in forms that she thought Garnet would approve of while trying not to betray that Garnet’s approval was what she wanted?

yeah. that’s why Amethyst understood Pearl. that’s why Amethyst stepped in to defend Pearl even though she’d used Garnet and broken her trust.

ofc, Amethyst’s behavior and Pearl’s behavior both manifest in different ways and stem from slightly different places too…but at their core they both revolve around a fear of showing others (or themselves) their true selves, lest they be rejected for it.

I hope that “Cry for Help” not only kicks off a relationship-mending arc for Pearl and Garnet, but a deepening of empathy and mutual support for Pearl and Amethyst.

when thinking about Pearl, I feel it’s so important to remember that it is unspeakably difficult to work through internalized marginalization and oppression. Pearl’s need for external validation, reassurance, and love–whether it’s from Rose, Garnet, Steven, or Amethyst–does not make her a ‘toxic,’ ‘unhealthy,’ or ‘abusive’ person; it makes Pearl someone who needs support, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with needing support, or loving someone who needs support. 

but Pearl did take it to a harmful extent this episode. the way Pearl used Garnet and broke her trust are not justifiable in the least…but they’re understandable. 

I think one of the big obstacles that Garnet will have to surmount before she can forgive Pearl has everything to do with the empathy that came so naturally to Amethyst. because she literally embodies Ruby and Sapphire’s love, Garnet has never experienced the lack of self-esteem, insecurity, and anxiety that Pearl and Amethyst contend with constantly. 

to forgive Pearl, Garnet is going to have to make an effort to empathize with both her and Amethyst, because–and I feel like we, the fandom, need to internalize this too–Garnet is not comparable to Amethyst or Pearl. you just cannot hold Amethyst or Pearl to Garnet’s standard…because they are completely different people, with completely different experiences informing their lives and ways they view the world…!