Chapter 11 of BatB! This is a slightly shorter chapter, and a hard one to write, but I hope you enjoy it! Masterpost link
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Michiru had never courted a woman. She had been courted, she had extended invitations to meet in dark corners, she had taken pleasure without giving any of herself away. Haruka was not someone you took into a dark corner and had your way with. Or at least, you did not only do that. If Michiru was going to open herself to Haruka, she had to do it properly.
She went out to the garden with paper and string. For once, her claws could be useful. Mako and Usagi, she knew, looked on from high windows. She could feel their gaze and was grateful they could not leave the house, even for the walled garden. Part of her— a very large part— felt deeply embarrassed by her actions. The great Lady Kaioh, harvesting flowers like some common gardener! The great Lady Kaioh, not only deigning to give a gift, but making a gift with her own hands.
She was above this.
She was above the dirt and bugs and the sun beating upon her back. She was above every marred petal and wilting bud she sifted through. She was above working for anyone’s affections.
And yet, when she found the first perfect rose and plucked it from the bush, a wave of happiness crashed through her chest. She was not above Haruka’s smile. Perhaps she was not above anything that might bring it around.
The longer she took and the more flowers she found, the better she felt. She tried to remember what Haruka had been drawn to when they walked together. Roses, of course, and, peonies. She’d even liked the little cornflowers, common as they were. Michiru used them for a spray of color, dark blue punctuating the soft pinks. She arranged them best she could, wrapping the paper gently so as to not rip it, and tying the string into the prettiest bow she could manage.
She held it out to examine her work, and every good feeling forsook her. It looked like a child’s work, something a young boy of common taste might pick for his mother. It was not worthy of Michiru and it certainly was not worthy of Haruka.
Her grip tightened, she tensed to throw it away. But that impulse made her sadder still. Haruka deserved beautiful things, and perhaps this was not a beautiful thing but it was the closest Michiru had to offer. It felt wrong to put her shame before Haruka’s joy, however small it might be at such a garish offering.
She reentered the house as quietly as she could, checking around every corner before she emerged. She could compromise— she would leave the flowers at Haruka’s bedside, and she could think it was merely the magic of the house that brought them rather than Michiru’s own hand. Perhaps they would make her smile anyway.
Luck brought Michiru to Haruka’s room unspotted. The bed was half-made, covers thrown over the mattress but untucked and unsmoothed. Michiru remembered the state of her own chamber, as Haruka had seen it, and felt shame. She propped her bouquet up on the pillows and turned to go.
“Oh, you can come in my room but I can’t go in yours?”
Michiru froze. Haruka leaned against the doorway. “I apologize, I—“
Haruka smiled. She was teasing. Michiru could not think of anyway to respond.
“I will go.”
“Wait.” Haruka stepped up to the bed. “Are those… for me?”
“Yes,” Michiru said, feeling warm. “They’re not…. I would have liked to have done better, for you.”
Haruka lifted them to look, her cheeks very red. Michiru worried she might be angry, but she turned the bouquet in her hands in a way that Michiru could only call reverent. “Did you pick them? For me?”
Michiru wished she had been turned into something very small, that she might have the ability to turn an hide beneath a chair or a blanket. “I did, I tried to remember what you liked and I did not do well, forgive me.”
“They’re beautiful.” Haruka buried in nose within the paper and stayed there. “This might sound silly,” she said, her voice muffled and thick, “but no one’s ever given me flowers.”
“Well, you need not count this, if you’d like your first time to be better.”
“Michi.” Haruka laughed, but then she stiffened. “I mean, Michiru. I love them, thank you.”
“I wanted to leave them so you wouldn’t know it was me.” Michiru ran her claws along the back of her knuckles.
Haruka shook her head and smiled. “You are incomprehensible sometimes.”
“I only wanted to do something nice.”
“Thank you.”
The bedroom was very small, Michiru noticed now, though it had seemed spacious before. The walls were so close, and so was Haruka. There was nowhere for either of them to look but each other. And Haruka was looking, and Michiru could not read her. She was no longer teasing. Her smile was soft and her eyes were too. Michiru could not fathom the softness. It felt to her like falling through clouds, there was nothing to grasp onto and nothing to break momentum.
“Your hands are still dirty,” Haruka said. She reached out but stopped short of touching her.
“I should have washed before coming in, I—“
“No, it’s just… It’s nice that someone like you would get dirty, especially just to bring me flowers.”
Michiru leaned towards Haruka, thinking of letting her take her dirty hand, thinking of how this moment would go if she were not a monster. Their eyes met, and for a moment Michiru felt the moment would go that way despite everything she was.
But it could not. She straightened her posture. “I should wash now, though. It is hardly becoming of a lady to go about with soiled hands.”
“Okay.”
Michiru hurried from the room, but in a glance back she saw Haruka sit on her bed, still admiring the flowers. Still smiling. For an instant Michiru forgot the curse, forgot every selfish reason she had for courting Haruka, and all she could think of was finding more ways to get that smile.


