Angstober 18/24

Major Illness/A Terrible Secret

Another installation of Haruka Dies! Doc and Dreaming’s Angstober fun! I can’t really justify this being late for BOTH prompt days it works for, as it is a) not long (1177 words) and b) more like 3 drabbles strung together than a proper fic. BUT HERE IT IS. Chronologically, this takes place first, then this, this, this, and finally this.

Haruka could never get in the habit of going to the doctor. She took Himeka religiously, not a check up was missed nor a fever unevaluated. Michiru got her encouragement to go as well, even. But Haruka herself? Her mother’s old admonishments played in her head every time. Never mind that they had excellent insurance now, that even without Michiru’s parents’ money they made enough to comfortably cover almost any copay that was thrown at them, Haruka had to suck it up.

It had worked so far. But now here she was, waiting on a blood test to determine what scary unpronounceable word applied to her.

No, none of them applied to her. The doctor was overreacting, saying things to run more tests and get more money. That was what doctors did. If Haruka was really sick, she’d be in bed.

Just that morning, she’d walked Himeka to school. The moment they’d gotten out of Michiru’s watchful gaze, her little girl had lifted up her arms. “Papa, I want to ride!” Haruka hoisted her onto her back, running and jumping along the rode side as Himeka screamed with laughter.

Maybe that had taken more out of her than it should have, but that was part of getting old, wasn’t it? And if she’d gotten a little thin, she just hadn’t been eating enough, her metabolism had always been hard to keep up with. And if she’d passed out at work, that just meant—

“Ms. Tennoh?”

She stood. The doctor’s face was worn with lines behind her glasses. They all converged into an image of worry.

“Is there anyone with you? Anyone you would like us to call?”

Haruka opened her mouth to say her wife, they could call Michiru. But this was bad news. Michiru didn’t deserve bad news in the middle of the day. “No, I’d like to hear this alone.”

—-

Himeka bounded out of the school’s double doors and straight into Haruka’s arms. “Papa! Look what I made!” She held up a paper nearly as long as her arm-span emblazoned with a finger painted pink pig.

“You’re taking after your mama, I see.”

Himeka beamed. “Can you carry me home?”

Haruka hesitated.

You need to take it easy. We’ll run more tests when you come back tomorrow, but it’s very likely that a tumor…

“Of course, princess.” They were wrong, they had to be wrong. She’d fought a goddamn war against aliens and demons and god only knew what else, and if she could get through that then she couldn’t die now. Haruka took Himeka on her shoulders and ran.

“Papa, slow down!”

But she couldn’t. Whatever was inside her was going to catch her, and her old instincts kicked in. Charge into battle or run away. Haruka’s pulse rang in her ears, her heart felt like it was ripping apart with every ragged breath. Himeka leaned in and held onto her for dear life. Haruka hoped she would never let go.

Michiru wasn’t home yet when they got there. “What do you say we make dinner for Mama tonight?”

“Mama wants pizza.”

“Does she?”

Himeka straightened her stance and nodded solemnly. “She ab-sol-ut-el-y does.” She smiled. “That’s a good word, isn’t it?”

“A very good word.” Haruka rummaged in the cupboard to find their pizza pan. “Is it on your vocabulary list?”

“No, Auntie Mina taught it to me.”

Haruka laughed, but it ripped at her throat halfway up and brought tears in her eyes. Where was she going to be when Mina started teaching Himeka less savory things? Who was going to yell at her when she told Himeka about condoms or the best way to pick pocket men? Minako wouldn’t give a flying fuck about any of Michiru’s objections, Haruka had to be there. She grabbed the pan and retreated into the light.

“You’re the smartest girl I’ve ever known, you know that?”

Himeka frowned. “But Kimi is better in—“

“No.” Haruka scooped her up. “You’re my smartest girl.” She ruffled her hair. “And the prettiest, and the bravest, and—“

“Papa stop!” Himeka giggled into her shoulder. “You’re being silly.”

“Am I? I’d better stop, there’s no room for silliness in pizza making.”

There was, it turned out, a lot of room for silliness in pizza making.  By the time Michiru walked in there was a very lopsided pizza in the oven and quite a lot of sauce on the counter and their faces. Not a drop on Himeka’s white shirt, though, Haruka had to proudly note.

Michiru hung her coat on the wrack with a resigned smile. “Sometimes I forget I’m coming home to two children.”

“Mama, we made you dinner!”

“I see that.” She grabbed a paper towel and wiped Himeka’s face. “I trust you kept your Papa in line? We’re not having candy?”

Himeka nodded. “I was very stern.” That was probably a Rei word, Haruka mused. Perhaps Rei…

Michiru peered into the oven. “You even put some vegetables on, well done.”

“Hey.” Haruka wrapped her arms around Michiru from behind. “The spinach was my idea.”

“I’m shocked.” She turned and gave Haruka a peck on the cheek. “But I suppose if you’ve both been so good, we might be able to have the dessert I got from Mako…”

Himeka shrieked with delight.

—-

An ordinary evening had no right to be so beautiful, Haruka mused as she climbed into bed that night. It wasn’t fair for the universe to throw everything she had to lose in her face. She’d get better. She swore to God she’d get better, even if the doctors were right in their suspicions. Michiru and Himeka needed her.

“I got an interesting call today,” Michiru said from the bathroom.

Haruka’s heart dropped. Michiru knew, and would be so scared, and Haruka didn’t want to do this tonight, Michiru didn’t deserve it. “Oh?”

Michiru came into the bedroom. Her robe hung off her shoulders, but she clutched it around her chest. “You fainted at work. Mikey thought I should know.”

Damn it, Mikey. She’d have to talk to him about this, she didn’t call his wife about personal business. But it wasn’t the hospital, and that was something. “Yeah, I… I guess I didn’t eat enough or something.”

A lie for protection was alright, wasn’t it?

Michiru’s brow knotted. “You have been…” She pressed her lips together. She’d noticed, then, that Haruka had lost weight. Haruka prayed that was all.  “I guess we’ll have to make pancakes in the morning to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

Haruka smiled, but a hurricane roared inside her. “Come here.”

Michiru climbed onto the bed. Haruka put her hands on her waist, thumbs caressing the fabric over her hips. “I love you.” She pressed her head into her neck. “So much.”

“I love you, Haruka.” Her arms wrapped around Haruka’s body, one hand tangling into her hair. “Please never scare me like that again.”

“I won’t.” Haruka would keep her secret until she got better. She kissed along the edge of Michiru’s robe. “I promise.”

“I know what you are.”

“Say it,” Michiru whispered. She’d tried so hard to protect this girl from the truth, but she couldn’t stay away. Not when danger seemed to lurk around every corner Haruka turned. At least now she’d know why Michiru stayed so distant, she wouldn’t worry something was wrong with her.

“You’re… a lesbian.”

Michiru stared. Haruka looked so proud of herself. “That’s not–”

“It’s okay, I’m gay too.”

No shit.

“You don’t have to hide it from me. And, if you wanted…” she kicked around some leaves with her toe as she stared at the ground. “We could maybe. You know. Go on a date. Or something. If you wanted.”

“Haruka. Haruka. That would be very nice, but that is not the issue here.”

She looked up. “Oh. Is it… is it your parents? Mine suck too, but–”

“I’m a vampire!” Haruka stared. “I drink blood. You never see me in sunlight, my skin is always cold. I’m a vampire.”

“Oh. Well. That’s cool too.”

Michiru suppressed the urge to scream.

Miles away from the wooden grove in which they stood, Mina felt an unexplained wave of validation.

Things you said that I wish you hadn’t

Okay I lied I’m posting this now since I can’t sleep.

As soon as Mina drags us into their game of truth or dare, I know there’s going to be trouble. If it had been just the inners, maybe it would have been fine. Fun, even. But they are here. I try to make an excuse. You wave it off. I know they’d never break you, but I’m not that strong.

It’s alright for a few rounds, until Yaten gets that look in their eye. “Michiru. Truth or dare?”

You flip your hair, ready for the challenge. “Dare.”

I really wish you hadn’t said that.

Yaten smiles. “I dare you to kiss the most attractive person in the room who isn’t Haruka.”

“Will you be providing the mirror, or should I summon mine?”

I bite into my hand to keep from screaming. This isn’t going to end well. Seiya shifts forward in her seat. If you choose her, I swear I’ll break something.

“While your narcissism is certainly entertaining, I hardly think that would count.” Yaten puts their hand in their chin. “We’re waiting, Ms. Kaioh.”

“And I suppose I’m right to assume this is to be a full mouth kiss?”

Why did you ask? You could have gotten away with a peck on the cheek if you hadn’t.

“Yes.”

My heart pounds in my chest. Mako would be an alright choice, if it came down to it. Thought maybe I only think so because I trust her; she’s too genuine to take anything from it. Even if you really were attracted to her. Are you?

“Well, there’s one objectively right choice, isn’t there?” You stand up. Choose Mako, I plead in my head. Or Usagi, she’s innocent enough.

But you don’t walk to either of them.

Or Seiya.

Before anyone can process your choice, you’ve dipped Mina from her seat on the couch arm and kissed her. Mina’s eyes are wide even as you walk away.

“Goddess of love and beauty, you know,” you say as you sit down next to me. “The obvious choice.”

“Well,” Mina says, “that’s hard logic to argue with.”

Your eyes harden. I can see revenge forming in your mind. “So, Seiya, truth or dare?”

I groan and bury my face in a couch cushion.

Prompt Party Time!

One Beautiful Day
~1900 words
AO3 link

For the AU I haven’t written in before, I decided to go with a childhood meeting AU.
In a ground breaking twist, it features HaruMichi… at the beach!! 

At age ten, Michiru had already learned to hate family vacations. Maybe if her parents had taken her to Disney World or even camping among national landmarks like T.V. families did, she wouldn’t have found them so vile, although she knew deep down they’d find a way to make those sorts of trips performances too.

She managed to slip away on the second day this time. Her parents had a no-children luncheon and had told her to stay in the hotel room and practice the piece she would play for their friends that night. As though she hadn’t perfected it months ago. She waited until she heard the elevator ding shut in the hall before sneaking out into the stairwell.

When you’d been trained to carry yourself with dignity and purpose, no one questioned why you were out alone. A little eye contact and a smile assuaged any fears. The doorman even held the door open for her, and she walked out into the world. The sun was bright; the air was heavy with moisture and salt. Michiru followed the street signs to the beach.

She’d always liked the ocean, probably because it made her feel so small and insignificant. She could live and die and flub her next concert and the ocean would still be there, vast and uncaring. Setting her shoes at the edge of the sand, she made her way towards the water. The sand was hot, but she kept walking. She half hoped she’d get a blister right on her toes where it would show in the shoes her mother had picked out. It wouldn’t be big enough for the audience to notice it, but her mother would be upset anyway. A perfect rebellion. But she reached the tide line without a mark.

No one on the beach paid attention to the small girl ruining her sundress in the surf. No one, that was, besides another girl Michiru had not noticed at first. Her clothes were baggy and a little dirty, but she had beautiful long blonde hair tied up in a ponytail, straight and frizz-free like Michiru’s mother always wished Michiru’s was. She sat in the sand a few feet from the tide line. Color rose in her cheeks when Michiru caught her eye.

“Sorry,” she said as Michiru walked over. “You just looked so… so free.”

I’ll never really be free. But Michiru put on her best smile. “I’m not supposed to be out here.”

“Did you run away, too?”

“Well, I sneaked out for a bit.” The “too” processed through her mind. “You’re a runaway?”

The girl’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell anyone! My mom will find me soon anyway. She always does.”

“Okay.” Michiru almost asked why she ran away, but she could hear her father’s voice in her head– It’s bad manners to ask about others’ misfortunes. Instead she sat down next to the girl. “I’m Michiru.”

“Haruka.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, same.” Haruka gestured towards the water. “You can keep playing, if you want. I don’t mind.”

“Don’t you want to join me?”

“Oh, um, no. No thanks.” Haruka eyed the ocean and swallowed hard. “I’m good here.”

Michiru frowned. “You don’t like–” Don’t make comments like that, Michiru, it brings down the conversation. “Is there something we could both do?” Something about this girl struck her; she didn’t want to leave her alone. She wasn’t at all like the playmates Michiru’s parents always chose for her.

Haruka thought for a moment. “There’s a corner store over there a bit. I’ve got a couple dollars, we could get some candy or something.”

Michiru smiled. “I have a better idea.”

She took Haruka by the hand and led her back to the hotel. Eyebrows were raised at the state of their clothes, but the workers recognized Michiru well enough to not say anything. She strutted into the hotel shop like she belonged there.

“My parents sent me to grab a few things. Can you put it on our room tab?” She handed the cashier the key card.

He gave a pause; certainly ten-year olds were not normally allowed to charge their parents’ account. But she was well-spoken and, she knew, intimidating despite her size, so he nodded.

She turned to see Haruka gaping. Michiru pulled her away from the desk and behind a display of candied nuts before whispering, “That was nothing.”

“That was…” Haruka shook her head. “Do people always do what you want like that?”

“Mostly. Except my parents.”

“Oh. Will they be mad you’re spending their money?”

“Not mad, but–” She put on her best impression of her mother. “Very disappointed in me, they haven’t raised me to act like this.”

Haruka giggled appreciatively.

“But then tonight they’ll parade me around and hear what a darling I am, how talented and precocious, and they’ll forget all about it.”

Haruka frowned. Michiru’s stomach gave a twist. She’d ruined it, hadn’t she? She’d come off as ungrateful, and negative, and No one likes negative people, Michiru, always say nice things, even if they’re lies. Veil your criticisms. Her parents were right, and–

“I know what that’s like, sort of. I mean, it’s not the same, I don’t have talents, but I think…” Haruka blushed very red. “Sorry never mind.”

“No, it’s all right.”

Harka swallowed. “I think she has reasons for having me that aren’t… me. Which I guess is a little like you.”

For a long moment Michiru couldn’t think of anything to say. It was strange to have someone acknowledge her feelings and agree. “Do you want your mom to find you?” she asked finally.

Haruka shrugged. “I’ve got nowhere else to go.” Her face was somber, but then it broke into a smile. “Unless you want to run away and become a bandit with me?” She lunged like she had a sword in her hand. “We could live in the wild, and defend little kids, and have a whole band like Robin Hood.”

“We could.” Michiru smiled, feeling an excitement like none she’d had before. “But we’ll need some supplies.”

They ran back and forth through the shop, grabbing a bag, a water bottle, all the candy they could carry, and a pair of scissors. “Since there’s no swords here,” Haruka said. “We’ll have to make do.”

The cashier opened his mouth to ask if her parents had really asked for these things, but Michiru withered him with a glare. She wouldn’t let anyone ruin this. She was having fun. He swiped the room key and they barreled out into the street, bag in hand, breaking into fits of laughter as their feet hit the pavement.

“We’re bandits!”

“His face.” Haruka gulped for breath and straightened herself. “There’s a park near here, if you wanna start there. We can claim the playground as our base.”

“Lead the way.”

Haruka grabbed her hand and broke into a run. Michiru struggled to keep up. The girl was fast, whatever she said about having no talent. But Michiru felt like slowing down this moment, halting its momentum, was something worse than death, worse than the dark shadows that came through her window at night that she had to pretend she was too old to be afraid of. Her calves burned and each breath felt like it drove a knife into her side, but she would not stop.

The park came into sight, and then they were there. Haruka put her hands behind her head and smiled. “Our new kingdom!”

Michiru smiled back. It didn’t matter that even calling the lopsided swingset and singular rusty slide a playground had been a stretch. It was theirs and they were free, for the day if not forever. She sat down on one of the swings and opened the bag. “This calls for a celebratory meal, I think.”

For awhile they ate candy in comfortable silence. Michiru felt herself smiling even as she chewed. She couldn’t help feeling this was the first time she’d felt this content.

“You know,” Haruka said after a while. “There’s a thing I’ve always wanted to do. Something rebellious, something totally bandit-y.”

Michiru set her candy bag on the ground. “And what’s that?”

Haruka smiled sheepishly and leaned over to reach in the bag. She pulled out the scissors. “Cut my hair short. Like, boy short.”

Michiru didn’t say how beautiful it was. Haruka knew that, had probably heard it as a reason she wasn’t allowed to cut it. And maybe, Michiru got the impression, Haruka didn’t want to be beautiful. Not like that, anyway.

“I’ll do it for you.”

“Have you cut hair before?” Haruka asked as she handed over the scissors. She smiled like it didn’t really matter.

“No, but I paint. Both are art, right?”

Haruka laughed. “If you say so. I guess worst comes to worst, I shave it all, right?”

“I imagine that wouldn’t look bad on you.” Michiru stood behind Haruka, but she still saw the color rise in her face. She felt her own cheeks flush. It was normal to tell girls they looked good, wasn’t it? She shook it off and took Haruka’s ponytail in her hands. “You’re sure about this, right?”

“Very sure. I only haven’t because I’m not allowed.”

“Okay.” Michiru cut straight across the base of the ponytail. It fell to the ground, heavy enough to scatter some of the wood chips. Michiru did her best to trim the top up to look like a real haircut. She didn’t quite succeed, but it was decent for a first time. She put her phone on the camera and handed it to Haruka so she could see.

“Not bad.” Haruka grinned wider than Michiru had ever seen anyone smile.

“You look.. you look very handsome. More like a prince than a bandit.”

Haruka blushed again. “You think so?”

“Yes,” Michiru said, feeling embarrassed. She wasn’t sure if it was giving an honest compliment that felt strange, or something else. Their eyes met.

And her phone rang.

Haruka nearly jumped out of the swing. Michiru grabbed the phone, it was her parents, of course it was, calling to drag her back from anything this good. She hit ignore and shut it off. “Sorry.”

Haruka looked down at the ground. “You have to go, don’t you?”

“No. Not yet.” Her hatred for her parents for cutting this so short battled with the overwhelming urge to give this girl something. Michiru did, really and truly, want to run away with her, despite how implausible it would be. “I don’t want to leave yet.”

“Okay.” Haruka smiled, a little forced but still genuine. “Think you can swing higher than me?”

The police arrived as the sun started to set. As the shuffled Michiru into their car and phoned her parents, she realized she hadn’t gotten Haruka’s phone number, or even her last name. By the time she turned back it was too late. The policewoman grabbed her gently around the middle and set her in the back seat.

Her parents yelled at her more than they ever had, but the only thing she felt bad for was not being able to contact the girl. Long after they returned home, Michiru held onto the memory, went over it in her head like a prayer on nights when the whole world seemed horrible. There was at least one good day, one good person. And even years later, Michiru swore she’d find a way to meet her again.

Some sort of happy AU

So, since I can’t do this month’s prompt party due to all the job and apartment stuff, I wanted to post something unrelated. This is something I’ve been sitting on for a while, I just had to edit it a bit (more than I originally thought, but editing is easier than writing new material for me, even when I add scenes).

Where the Ring Went is a fluffy no-powers (American) AU. Ostensibly a HaruMichi fic, but Brotp heavy. 3779 words. 

On AO3 or below the cut.

Haruka’s fingers brushed the ring box as she dug out her driver’s license. It didn’t matter how often she went to a bar, she got carded every time. The bartender frowned for a moment, clearly having the all-too-common mental debate on if it was fake. Her wide smile and messy hair in the picture didn’t do much to debunk the notion, but then he handed it back and poured her beer. She slipped off her well-worn leather jacket and sat down. The jacket was a gift from Minako for their high school graduation. “Every good butch needs a good leather jacket,” she had said. Whether it was still good with cracks around the shoulder seams and the pull broken off the zipper was a matter of debate, but Haruka needed Minako’s goodwill that night.

“Aren’t you going to card me?” Minako asked now. She leaned over the scratched, stained bar top and fluttered her eyelids. Her blonde locks fell down to frame the risqué neckline of her top. “I might be underage.”

“You’re not,” said the bartender. He set down their drinks and moved on to other customers. It wasn’t the busiest bar, even on a Friday night, but there was hardly an empty stool along the old wooden bar. The lights were dim and the dull roar of conversation fell just short of drowning out the gentle jazz playing over the speakers.

Minako pouted into her Mojito. “I’m younger and more fabulous than you.”

“Can’t argue with that.” Haruka took a sip of beer. “Speaking of my old age and maturity though…”

“No. No.” Minako slammed both hands on the bar top. “If you’re going where I think you’re going, I refuse to let you continue.” Haruka opened her mouth, but Minako covered her ears. “No.”

Haruka reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the little box. She popped it open an inch from Minako’s nose. “I just need to know if you think she’ll like it.”

Minako scowled at the ring. It spoke novels of her affection for Haruka that she looked at it for a full minute before snapping the lid down. “She’ll love it. But you’re not allowed to get hitched. It’ll ruin everything.”

Haruka slipped the ring back into her pocket and put a hand on her shoulder.  Minako hadn’t made a fuss when Haruka and Michiru had started living together. Haruka had hoped that meant marriage wouldn’t be a big deal to her, but she supposed there was a difference between “this woman has a house and I sleep with her most nights anyway, why am I paying for my apartment” and “I’m planning on staying with this woman for the rest of my life.” Minako couldn’t reason this out as Haruka mooching off some rich girl’s parents. “She’s not that bad, Mina. And I love her.”

“She is that bad, but that’s hardly the point.” She took a long drink. “How much did you spend on that fucking thing anyway?”

“Not the three month’s pay you’re supposed to.” Haruka turned it over and over in her pocket. It was the best a self-employed mechanic could do, but Michiru had earrings that cost more than what she’d spent. Haruka knew it wasn’t an exaggeration. She’d checked. “But I think it’s nice enough.” The diamond had a good cut, the jeweler had assured her, even if it wasn’t large.

“You could propose with a Ring Pop and Michiru would think it was the most elegant thing in the universe.” She blew bubbles through her straw. “It is nice though.”

Haruka smiled. Minako was probably right, but she was nervous anyway. She and Michiru would hit their fifth anniversary in a week. Everything had to be perfect. She couldn’t match the extravagance of Michiru’s home life, so she’d have to make up for it in other ways. Haruka ran her hand over the back of her head. A haircut might be in order. The back had started to grow out. But being too well groomed might ruin the surprise. She could save the perfect haircut for the wedding. “You know,” she said, “that even if you hate me getting married, you’re going to be my best woman, right?”

“Ugh.” Minako drained her drink in two quick gulps and motioned at the bartender for another. “At least that means I plan the bachelorette party. You’re not gonna transition to boring married person without a bang. In fact,” she pushed her drink to the side, “let’s start now. Two shots, sir!”

“You know I don’t drink these things.” Haruka poked the glass away with one finger when bartender set it down, but Minako scooted it right back.

“Tonight you do.”

—–

She woke up in bed at home, head pounding. Haruka stared at the patterns the early sun made in the blue carpet as fragments of the night’s events slowly came back to her. Minako ordering a lot of drinks, Minako arguing with the bartender. Haruka attempting to dance. Minako kissing some woman to make a point Haruka could no longer remember. It was a wonder she made it home. Haruka kicked off the blankets. Michiru was probably responsible for her safe arrival, so she should probably thank her. Or apologize. Or both. She padded out into the hall. The expected whine of morning news was conspicuously absent. Only the buzz and bubble of Michiru’s aquarium filter bounced off the walls. There wasn’t even the aroma of Michiru’s morning coffee to greet Haruka into the kitchen.

Haruka swallowed down a rush of uneasiness. Michiru almost always left a note when she left unplanned, but there was nothing. Haruka tried to think if there was some art thing she’d forgotten. She could barely keep track of Michiru’s various schedules when she wasn’t hungover. When she was, it was hopeless. Haruka got a glass of water and an aspirin and went back to her bedroom to look for her phone. Maybe there was a text, a call, something. But her phone wasn’t on the nightstand, or the dresser. Where was her jacket? It had to still be in her pocket, along with the ring.

She was rummaging through the closet when she heard the front door open. Haruka rushed out to see Michiru hanging her coat on the rack. A Krispy Kreme bag sat on the table. “I didn’t think you’d be awake this early after last night.” She unwound her scarf from around her neck, making her long hair dance in the light.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry about that.”

Michiru smiled with one side of her mouth and raised an eyebrow. “You don’t remember any of it, do you?”

“Not really.” Haruka blushed and peaked into the bag. “The sprinkle one’s for me, right?” Michiru nodded, so she pulled it out. “Have you seen my jacket? The old leather one I had on last night?”

“I… can’t say I have.” She slipped off her shoes. “Do you need the bathroom? I haven’t showered yet.”

Haruka shook her head. The moment she heard the water start running, she grabbed Michiru’s phone. Two rings, three rings, then Minako’s voicemail. “Hey, I’m too busy for you. Leave a message and I might call you back.”

“Minako, Minako, I to find my jacket. I don’t remember what happened last night, but it’s not here, and the ring’s in it. Michiru hasn’t said she’s mad, but she knows I don’t remember so she might be.” Haruka paused. “I swear to god if you took it as some sort of don’t get married joke, so help me. Just. Call me back and help me find it, okay?”

She hung up and immediately dialed again. Minako still did not answer. Once more, and then she abandoned the phone to focus on her breakfast. Michiru couldn’t be that mad if she bought donuts. That, at least, was good. The ring was a problem, though, no way could she afford a second one. Hopefully Minako would phone back, and she’d have perfect recall of the night. Maybe Haruka just left her jacket with her, because she was worried she’d drop it and Michiru would see the ring and everything would be ruined. She tried to convince herself this was the most likely event. It didn’t do anything to fight the ever-increasing sense of dread.

Michiru’s phone rang. Haruka dove for it. “Hello.”

“The nice thing to do when someone has a hangover,” Minako grumbled, “is to not call three times before fucking ten AM.”

“Did you listen to my message? It’s an emergency.”

“Yeah yeah. I’m pretty sure you had it when we left. Michiru picked us up. You called her.” Minako yawned. “I’m a little fuzzy on details. Did you ask Michiru?”

“Of course I asked Michiru. She said she hadn’t seen it.”

“Fuck.” Her neck cracked. “I’ll pick you up soon, and we’ll go back to the bar.”

Haruka got dressed, scribbled a note, and went to wait outside. The wind was too chilly for comfort, but she refused to put on a different jacket on principle. She leaned against the fender of Michiru’s shiny BMW and listened to the bird song. Dew sparkled on the grass. If the weather held—and if she found the ring—she really could have a perfect proposal day. They’d go out to the park, coffees in hand from the shop where they had their first date, and sit awhile by the pond. Maybe see some swans, if they were lucky.

She stood up as she heard Minako’s car approach. The rusty red Cavalier roared along the street and slowed to a stop in front of the drive way. Haruka slipped in and buckled her belt.

“I can’t believe you lost the ring.”

“I can’t believe you got me drunk enough to lose the ring.”

Minako scowled under her big sunglasses. She took a swig of coffee from her Styrofoam cup and scowled more. “This is what you get for trying to get married on me.”

Haruka laughed. “You always talk like marriage is some big life changing thing.”

“Haruka.” She ran a hand through the hair at her temple. “Marriage is by definition a life changing thing. It’s a whole new life.”

“For me, though, not for you.”

Minako made a non-committal noise. She pushed the engine and shifted late into fourth. Haruka sat back and let her be quiet. The houses blurred by, soon replaced by stocky square businesses. A bitter gasoline scent drifted in and out of the car. Minako wheeled them into the nearly empty bar parking lot.

A closed sign hung on the door.

“Shit.” Haruka peered through the window, as if her jacket could be just inside on the floor and as if it would make a difference if it was. Chairs sat upside down on tables. The wood floor was worn as ever, but immaculate. Her jacket was nowhere in sight. “What’s Plan B?”

Minako slouched against the wall. “Hell if I know. We come back later? There’s only so many places it could be if not here.”

“Unless someone took it.” Haruka frowned. “Could we break in?”

“You’re luck I love you as much as I do.” Minako pulled a pin from her hair and knelt at the door knob.

“Oh no. Not you again.”

Haruka turned to see the bartender from the night before pulled up to the curb. He glared through the car window.

“Get out of here before I call the police.”

“Sir, I’m sorry for anything I or my friend did last night. But I need my jacket.”

He looked at her, brown eyes tired and uncaring. Without answering, he pulled his phone from his pants pocket. He held it up with the dial screen open.

“Sir, just, if you remember anything about my jacket…”

“I don’t. Get out of here.”

“But—“

“If it was here, I’d have found it cleaning last night, and I didn’t. Now go.”

Haruka pulled Mina back to the car. “Well,” Minako said. “You tried.”

“What did we do last night that was so bad?”

Minako shrugged. “Just some dancing, some rowdiness. You may have tried to fight a woman who said her fiance was prettier than yours.”

“Oh god.” Haruka put her face in her hands. “But that doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is finding the ring.” She sighed. “What about that girl you kissed, do you think she might remember something? Did you get her number?”

“Oh sure, that you remember.” Minako crossed her arms. “Maybe I got her number, maybe I didn’t, but I’m definitely not calling her. She’s not my type, it would be cruel.”

“Minako, this is my life on the line.”

“No, it’s a lot of money and your marriage. There’s a difference.”

“You’re the one going on about marriage being a life thing! You can’t have it both ways.”

Minako pressed her lips into a thin line that made the tip of her nose rise up. “Fine. Fine. I’ll fucking call her.” She ripped her phone out of her purse.

“Minako—“

She held one hand out in a forceful stop and stabbed at the call button with the other thumb. Haruka could hear the dull ring, and then a muffled “Hello?”

“Hey, uh, it’s me. The uh, girl from the bar. I wouldn’t be calling, but—I mean I wouldn’t be calling so soon. It’s Saturday morning, who would call on a Saturday morning? But my friend lost her jacket and it had her…” Minako paused. Haruka could not make out the other woman’s words. “She’s tall with short blonde hair… Yeah, the one who got in the fight… Uh, sure, we can do that. Yeah, thanks. See you soon.” She hung up and sighed. “We have to go meet her.”

“Why?”

“She’s on her way to work, and she doesn’t want to talk and drive. She said meeting her there would be the easiest way.”

“Okay.” Haruka climbed back into the car. Minako’s jaw was clenched tight. “If you really don’t want to see her…”

“Bit late now.” The car lurched into second gear. “We won’t have much time before she goes into work.”

“Work” turned out to be the old diner on the edge of the university campus. Cars packed into the lot in front of the quaint brick building, where the smell of baking grease was so strong it wafted out to the street. A woman with vaguely familiar deep blue eyes hopped off the trunk of a Volvo as they pulled in. There were several textbooks piled in the backseat. Her blue hair was cut into a no-nonsense crop around her face and her waitressing apron was ironed into prim creases, but her smile was gentle and genuine. “Thanks for meeting me, though I’m not sure how much I can help. You did have your jacket on when you left.”

“But…” Haruka furrowed her brow. “Michiru said she hadn’t seen it.”

The woman nodded. “If you don’t have it, then…” She blushed hard and pulled a flyer from her pocket. “Here. The, um, the girl you fought with, she’s in a band. And they always set up for shows pretty early, and you can usually talk to them if you go.” She bit her lip. “I don’t think she would have done anything mean-spirited, but… she likes to mess with people sometimes. And after you got so wound up last night…”
“Oh. Thanks, uh..”

“Ami. And it’s no problem. I hope it works out.” She glanced at Mina. “And maybe I’ll see you soon?”

“Maybe… don’t count on it.”

The woman turned and walked away before Haruka could see her facial reaction.

“Don’t start on me,” Minako said, walking back to the car.

“What?”

“Don’t say it was harsh, or that I should have taken her on a date as thanks or whatever.”

Haruka leaned across the warm but dirty car roof. “Minako, when have I ever done anything like that?”

“When have you ever been nearly engaged?” Minako looked at the side mirror instead of at her. “Once people get married, they think everyone else should do it, too.”

“Oh yeah, I definitely think you should get married. In fact, you should go propose to that woman right now.” Haruka smiled gently. “You getting married would be a train wreck.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“No, I just mean… You’re not interested in settling down anytime soon. And maybe someday you’ll meet your perfect partner, or maybe you won’t, but you’re going to be my best friend always either way.”

“Don’t get sappy on me,” Minako said, but she smiled. “Are we going to go crash this gig set up or what?”

“It’s our best lead.”

That night’s show was luckily in a bar far away from the one they’d been in the night before. A sign in the window said closed, but the door was propped open and a slender, silver-haired woman sat in the back of a truck full of sound equipment park next to it. She sipped water and watched their approach with narrowed. “I hate when fans do this.”

Haruka noticed she waited until they were just within earshot to make the comment.

“We’re looking for… Seiya, I think.” Minako said. “We met her last night.”

The woman raised an eyebrow, and her mouth curled into something that might have been a smile. “Ah, she did mention meeting some interesting people last night. This town might not be so boring after all.” She leaned back against an amplifier. “She’ll be out in a moment.”

Though the woman seemed hardly trustworthy, she did tell the truth. It wasn’t long before another woman, this one with short dark hair, emerged from the doorway. She headed for the truck.

Haruka clenched her fist. She couldn’t remember anything clearly, but she remembered that she did not like this woman.

Seiya noticed them and smiled. “Come to admit I’m right?”

“Absolutely n–”

Mina put a hand over Haruka’s mouth. “What my friend means to say is that she lost her jacket and the ring last night, and we were wondering if you knew anything about where it might have gone.”

“I might.” Seiya crossed her arms. “But if I’m going to tell her anything, I’m going to need to hear her ask for it. And apologize.”

Haruka wriggled free of Mina’s grasp. “Apologize for what?”

“For claiming anyone could be prettier than my dumpling head. And for hitting me.”

Haruka clenched her jaw. “I am sorry I hit you.”

“And?”

“And could you please tell me what you know about my jacket and the ring?”

Seiya grinned. “And?”

“And nothing.”

“That’s too bad.” Seiya hopped into the back of the truck and picked up a mic stand. “I really wanted to help you, too.”

Haruka took a deep breath. “I’msorryIsaidyourfianceisn’tasprettyasmine.”

“What was that? I can’t hear when you mumble.”

She’d hit her again once she said what she knew. “I’m sorry I said your fiance isn’t as pretty as mine.”

“See, was that so hard?”

“I wouldn’t push it if I were you,” Minako said.

“Well.” Seiya sat down the mic stand. “The thing is, your fiance looked like she’d kill anyone who messed with you, so I actually have no idea where your jacket went.”

What?

Seiya shrugged, still grinning. “It’s totally fair of you to suspect me, I forgive you.”

You forgive me?”

“I have a big, gentle heart, it’s how I landed the most beautiful girl in the world.”

Haruka lunged, but Minako held her back. “We’re just going to go now. Thank you for your help.”

“Mina, she didn’t help at al–”

“Have a nice day.”

“You too. I hope you both come to our show tonight!”

“Like hell we will!” Haruka yelled as Mina shoved her back into the car.

It was only as they drove away that Haruka remembered that Seiya was not the real problem. “We didn’t find it.”

“We’ll keep looking.”

“If I lost it between the bar and the car, I don’t think we’re going to have much luck.” Haruka sighed. “Maybe I should go home and call the police. Maybe someone turned in the ring,” she said, but the hope was seeping out of her like air from a balloon.

——

Minako dropped her off just as the clock hit two. “It’ll be alright, whatever happens. I’ll buy you a new ring.”

“It’s not your fault I lost it, don’t–”

“I know, but I can, if you need me to.” Mina smiled. “I couldn’t care less about the ice queen, but you deserve having this go well.”

“Thank you.” But Haruka’s smile faded as Mina drove away and she trudged up to the front door. She picked at the white paint flaking around the handle. They’d have to repaint it soon anyway. A sliver of paint cut at the skin just under her nail, and she took it as a sign to quit stalling and turn the knob. “Hey, I’m b–” She stopped.

Michiru sat with her chair pushed out from the table. Haruka’s jacket was folded neatly in her lap. “Welcome back.” She smiled sheepishly.

Haruka’s mouth opened and closed several times before she regained her capacity for sound. “You said you hadn’t seen it.”

“I was going to put it on the closet floor when you weren’t looking so you could find it, but that seems cruel now that you were out looking for so long.” Michiru pursed her lips, and then looked up. “You don’t remember last night.”

“Did I do something wrong?’

Michiru smiled. “No, just… I think once you know, you’d rather it not have happened, so I thought I’d pretend it hadn’t.”

Haruka’s stomach sunk. “Oh no. Tell me I didn’t do what I think I did.”

“You were very enthusiastic. Very adorable.” Michiru fought back a laugh. “Even if you enunciation was a little… interesting, let’s say.”

Haruka slumped into a chair, her face hot. This might have been worse than losing the ring. “What was your answer?”

Michiru slid the jacket across the table with a sly smile. “You, at least, can be surprised when you ask for real.”

“That’s mean,” Haruka said, but she laughed anyway. “You know I don’t handle suspense well.” She reached into the jacket pocket and pulled out the box. Michiru’s eyes followed it, all the way to when Haruka dropped to one knee in front of her. Her flushed smile and the tears in her eyes said that maybe it didn’t matter if the surprise had been ruined. Maybe nothing had been ruined at all.

Minako was first to comment on Michiru’s Facebooks photo of the ring. “Gross… but congratulations.”

The Way She Is

I’m supposed to be writing for school, but this came out of nowhere instead.

A young Haruka tries wearing the girls’ uniform to school. It doesn’t go well.
~1000 words, vaguely sad backstory fic/drabble.


Haruka is twelve, and girls are pretty.

More than pretty, really;her mother grudgingly gave her the birds and the bees talk two months ago—yet another joy of puberty—and Haruka knows, sheknows that she doesn’t feel the things her mother described, or not the way she
described them, at least.

She looks in the mirror
now. Everyone had always said it would happen. With a haircut like that, you’ll be lucky if your daughter doesn’t end
up a d–… Why don’t you wear the girl’s uniform, Haruka, people are going to
think…
They were wrong, it was just what she felt comfortable in, but now… now
they aren’t wrong.

She rummages through her
mother’s drawers to find a headband. With it and the school uniform, she can’t
see any difference between herself and the rest of the girls at school, even
with her hair so short. She looks like them. She looks normal.

Haruka wears it to
school, to see if it makes a difference.

“Haruka!” her friend Yuko
calls when she gets to class. “You look so nice today!”

It is all she can do to not
to run back out the door.

Yuko and Kaori fawn over
her headband, and her skirt, and why doesn’t she wear this every day? She can’t
explain the lump that has formed in the pit of her stomach to them. She’s used
to everyone’s eyes being on her—she’s the prince of the first years, after all—but
now it feels wrong. And Kaori is still pretty, even with the transformative
powers of the skirt.

She finds herself
wondering if the skirt harms or improves her chances.

If it improves them,
she’s not sure it’s worth it.

That was the opposite of
the point, anyway.

Kaori asks if she’s going
to grow her hair out now. Haruka’s no
is harsher than she intended, but also it isn’t. These are her friends, not her parents, didn’t they
choose her as she really is? Didn’t they choose the Haruka Tennoh who wore
pants and loved racing the way they loved idols?

Kaori pouts. “But you’d
look like an actual girl with long hair.”

She leaves. Class hasn’t
even started, but she’s done. She can’t do a full day of this. Outside, she
hides under the bleachers to watch the gym classes run. It’s calming, not as
calming as running herself would be, but it’s the best she can do in this skirt
and these shoes. Her legs start to scream from crouching, but she can’t bring
herself to move. She’d get caught if she moved now, and the last thing she
needed was to be stuck in detention today. In the break between classes, she
lets herself sit down in the dirt. It’s good no one can see her; she can’t figure
out how to sit without exposing her boxers.

Her finger draws
nonsensical patterns in the dirt and she wonders what she really wanted today.
Her reaction to Kaori proved she didn’t really want to change, didn’t it? An
alternate scene pops into her mind. Yuko and Kaori see her and are horrified. “But
Haruka,” Kaori says, “we like you the way you are. I like you the way you are.”

Haruka draws stick
figures in the dirt to represent this. Then she draws herself and Kaori in a
car, riding towards the sunset. The car looks more like a box on lopsided
wheels. Never mind that there’s a twelve year old behind the wheel. She wipes
the foolish fantasy away with her foot.

Haruka sneaks away at
midday and walks home. Her stomach sinks when she sees her mother is there,
waiting. Of course the school let her know she was skipping. Of course she
would leave work for this. Haruka isn’t sure if she dreads punishment or her
mother’s reaction to the girl’s uniform more.

The yelling comes first.
She is a delinquent, she is ruining her mother’s life. She’s heard it all
before. But before the “No phone, no running, no television for a week,” before
the normal threats of being kicked out or sent away, her mother stops. “At
least you’re finally dressing normal.”

“This’ll never happen
again.”

“You have a
choice anymore. If I’m going to get called out of work because you’ve skipped
class or failed a test every few days, you’re going to at least look like the daughter I wanted.”

Haruka doesn’t bother to
fight the exaggeration. She had the sneaking suspicion that she’d find most of
her clothes gone from her closet when she looked. But she’d been resourceful
before, she could be resourceful again. Make a deal with a boy at school to
pretend to be slower than him in exchange for a spare uniform, steal a pair of
safety scissors to cut her hair in the school bathroom, she’d make it work.

But she thinks of Yuko
and Kaori. Does everyone want her this way?

She retreats to her room
and lies on her bed. The only exception she can think of is her aunt, her aunt
who lives in Tokyo and said on her last visit that really, these small town
people are so behind, there are plenty of girls in the city like Haruka. It has
been years since then, probably because Haruka’s mother took that as an insult,
but it stuck with Haruka.

Is it just this place?

Is there somewhere that
would feel right?

Yes, says a voice inside her, quiet but as strong as the sea.

Haruka packs right then
and there. There isn’t much to take— a pair of pajamas, the one pair of pants
left in her closet, the souvenir toy car from the first race her father took
her to. She makes herself include a photo of her and Yuko and Kaori, because
maybe someday, they’ll feel right again. The contents of her piggy bank are
dismal, but it should be enough for a bus ticket and some food. Hopefully her
aunt in Tokyo will want a roommate for a little while. Hopefully, the city will
be different.

Haruka is twelve, and she
is running.