Tag: haruka

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

When I get into class differences with Haruka and Michiru I
tend to stick to the culture side of it, but sometime I should delve more into
the money side, because I don’t see much of that. And I think people probably
avoid it so as to not fall into “the feminine partner making/having more money
is emasculating,” but there’s more to it than that. I don’t think Haruka would
have a problem with Michiru making or having more money. There’s an extent it’s
comforting, because money is safety and it’s a safety Haruka’s never had. BUT.
The extent of the difference can be hard. Because even when Haruka gets a good
job, makes decent money, it’s never enough to make any difference. (I never see
Haruka making THAT much, I see her eventually becoming a real good mechanic,
making enough to support herself and a family well enough, but not enough for
her to contribute any wealth.)

Not making a difference has to hurt Haruka. Really, she
wouldn’t have to have a job at all. She basically works to have her own name on
her card when she and Mina go out for beers. (Michiru says she can put Haruka’s
name on a card from her account.  Haruka
cannot explain how badly that misses the point.) The amount she pulls in a year
might not even match the interest and returns Michiru gets on her savings
accounts. There’s nothing she can get Michiru or their family that Michiru can’t
get herself, and get a much better version of. When she gets her first
full-time job and can buy into company health insurance, Michiru already has
them covered. Retirement plan? Michiru’s had one for years, and it’s already
fuller than Haruka’s would ever be.

It’s a struggle that I think elevates the importance of
things like an engagement ring and other touchstones—Haruka needs something to
work for, and she has to tell herself that the difference in the time it takes
her to get the money for big things matters and makes it more special. But it’s
still a struggle.

spicy take: having Silmil Neptune and Uranus be a couple cheapens what haruka and michiru have

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

YOOOOO LISTEN. THERE ARE LOTS OF VERSIONS OF SILMIL I ENJOY
BUT NONE OF THEM HAVE THEM AS A COUPLE. NOOOONE. My personal pet headcanon has
them never even meeting.

SilMil Uranus and Neptune being together cheapens them being
together in this life and also doesn’t add anything. You can say what you like
about Miracle Romance, but the past life thing has purpose there. Two souls,
finding each other through time and space. That’s their story. But Haruka and
Michiru have a different story. They’re not meant for each other in the same
way. Their past life gave them their duty, but that’s it. The rest is in their
hands. They have to struggle some to come together, and if they know they can
make it work because they did in a past life, that’s uninteresting and
unrelatable.

(The conceit of soulmates/destined lovers/whatever can kind
of squick me with gay couples, I feel like it goes along with ~we can’t help
who we love~ and holding gay love to higher, purer standards.)

I also don’t feel like memories of the past are important to
all to them? And they have no reason to be. For the Inners, it’s imperative to
their duty that they remember how important Serenity is, and that the feeling
carries over. (Their actual memories vary in clarity, but they all have enough
to know that they have to project the princess.) But the outers are supposedly there
to protect the solar system itself, so they don’t need the same focus for their
memories. (I think Neptune remembers a lot, but has no emotional connection to
the past).

ANYWAY. NO THANK YOU.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

@awesomefrauellauniverse You’ve probably forgotten you ever prompted me, and this isn’t very good but I was determined to do something with your prompt. So here it is! Just under 900 words, in an AU where Uranus and Neptune didn’t awaken.

The Opposite of Destiny


Haruka
shot up from her tangle of blankets. “What was that?”

“It’s just the wind, babe, come back to sleep.”

But the wind alone was never so compelling. It had a
partner, sometimes, who was swift and direct and impossible to ignore.

“I’m going for a run.”

“What? It’s…” Sleepy fumbling for a phone. “It’s not
even four.”

“I gotta. I’m sorry, I’ll try and be back.”

“Try? Haruka-!”

But Haruka was already pulling on shorts and bolting out
the door. She would not be back, she knew, not really. It was hard to stay
still, stay rooted, when it found her. She had to escape to find her
peace. It always took time to catch up to her again.

Running
helped, when it was with her. Haruka figured it liked running too. She could
feel it beside her, keeping pace step for step. That was how she knew it to be
separate from the wind, although it seemed so similar. The wind did not have
feet. The wind came with her smooth and seamless. Its partner had a gait and a
pulse that matched Haruka’s.

“Maybe
I’ll tell her about you,” Haruka said a mile or so in. When she had a running partner,
she felt compelled to talk, even if she wasn’t sure how real it was. “Maybe I’ll
stay with her, with this job. What would you think of that?”

Her companion
said nothing, as always, but she could feel it calling her bluff. Sometimes she
moved on before it even found her.

“I’ve
always wanted to settle down with a woman, get married, the whole shindig. What
do you have against that?”

It was
not any of those things that it was against.

“One of
these days, you have to tell me why you’re here.”

But
that wasn’t fair. It tried. From the first moment she felt it, it had been
trying. Years and years of encounters, and it couldn’t get it across to her.
She felt the want, the compulsion to get her to somewhere, something, someone,
to make her understand. It needed something from her. When she was a young
teen, she’d fancied it a ghost, and in her secret heart of hearts, she’d hoped
the ghost was a girl who had fallen in love with her, wanted her, needed her.
The older she got, the more she knew that wasn’t right. It might be a ghost,
but not like that.

She let
it lead her today. The sun rose as they ran, through streets and parks and
trails. As much as she ran on her own, Haruka began to tire. Her partner slowed
for her, but drove her onwards. It had an urgency today. A hope. Haruka
wondered if it had figured out what to show her.

They
came upon a beach, and it let her walk. Haruka had always feared the water. She’d
had dreams of drowning as long as she could remember. If she wasn’t careful, one
day the water would swallow her up.

There
was only one other person on the beach this early. Haruka’s companion bid her
towards them.

Details
came into focus one by one. Long green hair, loose and frizzed in the sea
breeze. A canvas set up beside her, not yet painted on. A simple black dress.
Bare feet. The woman turned, then, and Haruka had the feeling they had met, but
she could not place her face.

“You’re…”
the woman started, but then frowned.

She had
something with her, too. Haruka could not say how she knew, but she’d never
encountered anyone like her before. “You have a ghost.” The words were out
before she could think of a better way to ask.

“Is that
what you call yours?” The woman looked out to the water. “I’ve always thought
of it as the spirit of the sea.”

“Mine’s
the wind, but also not.”

The
woman let out a low hum. She moved to the canvas and began to work.

“What
are you drawing?” Haruka asked, though she felt it was a stupid question.

“You
remind me of things I’ve seen in dreams.” The woman did not look away from her
paint. There were dark circles under her eyes, and wrinkles she hardly seemed
old enough for. “I dream often, and it’s always the same.” Her hands were
quick, the scene took shape on the canvas. Reds and blacks, a backdrop of
destruction, but in the foreground, a shining crystal cast light on what as
starting to take shape as a sword.

“Should
I let you be?”

The
woman hummed again. “The sea bid us to meet. It rarely asks more of me than to
paint.” She looked into Haruka’s eyes, then, sending a shiver down her spine. “Perhaps
you are the answer it can never give me.”

For the
first time, Haruka wondered if she wanted answers. She looked at the painting
again. Darkness. Death. A hope that hardly counted as such. She looked at the
woman. The sea.

The sea
would drown her, if she let it.

Haruka
turned and sprinted down the beach. She couldn’t face whatever the answer might
be. A life of wondering and wandering didn’t seem so bad anymore.

The
wind around her stilled as she ran. Uranus resigned herself to eternal sleep.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

I feel like, realistically, Setsuna, Haruka, and Michiru (the later of whom are teens if we take canon at its word) would be a huge mess, with the “division” something like

-Setsuna has had zero interaction with people in general for who knows how many thousand years, her one point of reference for children is ChibiUsa and she is secretly devastated when Hotaru doesn’t respond with the same affection over songs and stories.

-Haruka is constantly two steps behind Hotaru’s rapid and erratic aging, she tries so hard but Hotaru is now the equivalent of eight and does not want to watch Sesame Street with Papa. Haruka is outwardly devastated. But she tries to be ~the cool parent~ still and offers pizza and candy for dinner. Or anything Hotaru likes, she’ll learn to cook it JUST PLEASE LOVE HER.

-Michiru is calling in a nanny, and also funding the whole enterprise. Tragically, she’s the one Hotaru shows the most affection for.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

Mina-Mamo hatemance is stuck in my head now, not just as its
own thing but as a competing thing with Haru-Seiya.

Like, one day Haruka stomps around and throws up her hands. “Seiya
is such a jerkass! Why does Usagi have to keep bring her around?”

And Mina’s just like, “Buddy I’ve had to deal with Mamoru
for years. Seiya’s not that bad you can relax.”

“Seiya is THE WORST HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT. And what’s the
problem with Mamoru? He’s chill.”

“Only your dramatic gay ass would call a douche who runs
around in a tuxedo all night chill.”

“But he doesn’t bother anyone and he’s never hit on Michiru.”

Mina puts a hand on Haruka’s shoulder. “I know this is hard
to believe, but there are far worse things than hitting on your girlfriend.
Seiya has never endangered the planet and the princess across two life times,
and she has the decency to have a personality.”

“A PERSONALITY THAT SUCKS.”

Mina shrugs. “Just how I see it. Honestly if it wouldn’t
fuck up the future I’d rather Usagi end up with her. And maybe if it would too.”

“WHAT NO.” Haruka immediately starts drafting a list of
romance tips to give to Mamoru.

Mina wonders how out of line it would be if she let Seiya
know all Usagi’s favorite foods and date spots.

They work very hard to prove their respective points, but
before they can bring anything to Usagi or her suitors, she lets them know she’s
trying that polyamory thing, and will be dating Seiya too now.

Haruka and Mina collapse in on each other in despair.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

On the Night of the Ball

My entry for the prompt party, Harumichi Cinderella! Mine is a modern take, about 2600 words. Enjoy!

The phone rang just as Haruka had settled into the couch for
the night. She untangled from the blanket and dove for the old landline, the
long braid of her hair smacking into her back. The answering machine was in her
mother’s room, and it was best not to disturb her.

“Hello?”

“So you know how I bet you fifty bucks I’d get you to go to
the Halloween dance?”

“Mina, the dance is in an hour—“

“And I’ll call off the deal if you come over right now.”

Haruka sighed. “So I can either stay in pajamas and get
fifty bucks, or drag myself out and get nothing?”

Mina clucked into the phone. “You can either stay in, have
me come make a scene and pay me fifty bucks you don’t have when I get you to
the dance, or you can come over here and not have to worry.” There was a pause,
Haruka knew she was twirling her hair with her free hand. “How about this, if
you come over, I’ll still pay up if you don’t go. And I’ve got the movie butter
popcorn you like.”

“Fine, Mina. But I’m not changing my clothes.”

“Didn’t ask you to, buddy.”

Haruka slipped on her shoes without leaving a note. Her
mother would assume she was at Mina’s, if she even noticed. And unless Haruka
did something wrong, she didn’t notice.

They lived mercifully close, Mina just a few blocks away in
a marginally nicer house. Her mother would be out, and father home, but it
amounted to them being alone anyway. Haruka tucked the loose strands of her
hair back as she got to the door. It was never easy to know what to expect with
Mina. This could end with Mina literally dragging her to the dance, or it could
be a wild plan that mysteriously ended in the school gymnasium, and whoops,
look at that Haruka, you’re at the dance. Haruka gripped the door knob and
resigned herself to losing the bet in a night of misery.

Mina stood in the foyer, dressed in a long robe she must
have found at a thrift store. “Dahling, you made it,” she said in her best
old-movie actress voice, leaning against the wall with a hand on her head. “I
was beginning to worry.”

“What’s the plan, Mina?”

“Don’t look so resigned!” She smiled, big and devious. “I’m
going to give you the night of your life.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Haruka shoved her shoulder as they filed down
the hall to Mina’s bedroom. “You say that every night.”

“And compared to how you’d be without my stunning influence,
it’s true.” Mina hopped onto her bed, smushing several stuffed animals. “But
tonight is different. I’ve been saving up tips from the salon to pull this off.”

A new dread settled in Haruka’s stomach. “Mina, you shouldn’t
waste your money—“

“You say now, having been willing to rob me dry in a bet.”
Her eyes flashed, she knew she had Haruka. “I’ve still got my wages in the
move-out fund, don’t you worry. But tonight’s not about what we need, it’s
about what I want. And I want you to have a good time.”

“Then why can’t we stay in and watch movies?” Haruka did not
do dances—not the dresses, not the shoes, not the hair, and certainly not the
dancing, not where everyone could see her.

“Because we do that all the time. Tonight should be
different.” Mina cracked her knuckles. “See my plan through, and then you can
decide, okay? If you don’t like it, we’ll stay in and I’ll see what I can
return to the store tomorrow.”

“Fine.”

Mina jumped up and grabbed Haruka’s wrist. “We’ll start with
your hair.”

“Hey, wait, no. Off-limits. You promised when you started at
the salon—“

“That I’d never use you as a guinea pig for styling.” Mina
yanked her into the bathroom. “I’m not styling your hair, Haruka, I’m cutting
it.”

“What?”

“I’m cutting your hair.” She pulled out a clipper set. “That’s
always been part of the problem, hasn’t it?”

“I…” Haruka pulled on the end of her braid. “My mom…”

“Tell her it’s for a costume, and if she kicks you out
anyway, you’ll stay here.” Mina softened and put her hands on Haruka’s
shoulders. “Halloween is about being whatever and whoever you want to be. I,
for one, want to be a slutty, slutty vampire, forever young and beautiful. You
want to be something else. You can try it, for tonight, and if it’s not right
you say it was all play and let your hair grow and no one will bat an eye.”

Haruka looked in the mirror. She wanted it. Always had. Her
mother had caught her as a child, cutting her hair with the kitchen scissors to
look like a boy’s. She had not been allowed anything more than a trim ever
since. “Do you think it would look okay? You don’t think I’d look too…” She
meant to say boyish, but couldn’t. Part of her wanted that, too. Not to be a
boy,  but to look and exist in that space
she’d rarely seen occupied, of being a different sort of woman.

“This might not be the right thing to say, buddy, but I
think you might look kind of…” Mina stretched back, forcing nonchalance, “well,
kind of handsome.”

Haruka bit her tongue. She leaned closer to the mirror,
covered the start of her braid with her hands, a poor approximation of how it
might look. “I wanna do it.”

“Okay.” Mina pulled out scissors and held them to the base
of the braid. “Ready?”

Haruka took a deep breath. “Ready.”

The scissors snipped, hacking through, once, twice, three
times, and – thump! The braid fell to the tile like a dead animal. The bob of
Haruka’s remaining hair fanned around her face. Her head felt light, the smallest
motion made easier and bigger without the weight of the braid. Mina trimmed it
shorter, then switched to the clippers.

“This might tickle some.”

Just the sound as she turned it on sent shivers up Haruka’s
back. It vibrated the air with a magic she’d lusted after through barber shop
windows. Mina ran it up her head from her neck, and Haruka had to fight to keep
still. She couldn’t mess up her chance to look how she dreamed.

Slowly more hair fell to the floor in feathery clumps, until
Mina turned off the clippers and dusted Haruka off. Haruka tried not to cry—the mirror
now showed a woman standing tall even in her giant hoodie, hair just long
enough to be fluffy on top but shaped on the sides. “Mina…” she swallowed hard.
“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet, buddy. We’re only half done.”

Haruka had no more words of protest or question. Mina led
the way back to her room and threw open her closet.

Haruka’s breath caught as she pulled out a suit.

“I can’t promise it will fit great, men’s sizing isn’t the
same. But, you know, I tried and it should be close.” She rummaged through her
drawers and pulled out a brilliant navy tie and a matching masquerade mask.

“This is too much, I can’t accept…”

“If this is a money thing, Haruka, don’t worry. I’ve been
planning this long enough that I had time to get good deals.” She opened the
suit jacket to reveal a big red stain on the lining. “Somehow, this has been in
Goodwill for a long time, even though they insist it’s only ketchup.”

Haruka laughed in spite of her awe. “I ever tell you you’re
too good to me?”

“I think the words you’re looking for are ‘Thank you Mina,
you’re the best and I’ll never doubt your judgement again.’”

“Thank you, Mina.”

Minako rolled her eyes. “Now, I’m going to change into my
vampire dress, and give you a moment. We’ll have to leave in a few.” She
grabbed her costume and vacated to the bathroom.

Haruka ran her hands along the suit sleeves. She’d worn men’s
clothes before, flying under the wire with hoodies and tee-shirts that weren’t
great but kept her from wanting to crawl out of her skin. This was something
else entirely. She rubbed at the base of her neck, where her braid had been
replaced with fuzz. She’d enter the dance a different person from the one who’d
left school that day. Even if it was only for tonight, she’d be the woman she’d
always dreamed of.

Slowly, she pulled off her sweatpants, then her hoodie. She
slid on the pants, happy to find them only slightly too short. She stole a pair
of black socks from Mina’s drawer to hide it. The shirt, on the other hand, was
long, but tucked in it made no difference. Haruka pulled on the jacket slowly,
suddenly worried it would make it all farcical, she’d be the ordinary gangly
girl, dressing up like someone she wasn’t. But it settled onto her shoulders, tight
but not too restrictive, and she turned to Mina’s full-length mirror with bated
breath.

It didn’t fit perfectly. But it wasn’t glaring, and she
looked… real. Or she felt real. She couldn’t think of how to say it. She
fumbled with the tie until Mina came back in.

“Damn, buddy, you clean up nice.”

Haruka chuckled, then choked into tears. “Will you help me?
I don’t know—“

Mina took the tie and stood behind her. “Now, you be sure to
tell everyone I’m very good with my hands.” She smoothed Haruka’s collar and
centered the knot. “The ladies are gonna eat their hearts out.”

“Do you think…” She hadn’t allowed herself to think too much
about anyone who might be at the dance, committed as she had been to not going.
But there was the girl, from homeroom, who’d sometimes caught her eye, and…

“Drag your gay ass back to earth now, buddy, you can either
dream or make it happen. If we don’t leave, we’ll be much more than fashionably
late.” She pulled the mask on Haruka’s head and they set out together into the
night.

The gym was pulsing and packed when they arrived. The only
lights came in flashing colors and through the door to the hall. Haruka pulled
at the ends of her jacket.

Mina rubbed her back. “Don’t worry buddy, you’re gonna be
great.”

“Nice suit, bro!” A footballer called as he passed.

Haruka swallowed. “They don’t recognize me.”

“Drastic haircuts and masks will do that. You okay?”

“Yeah I just… I feel different, too.”

Mina smiled. “Be who you wanna be, Haruka.” She paused. “Split
up or stay together?”

Haruka scanned the crowd, looking for the green hair of
homeroom girl. “Can we… Can I try being on my own?”

“Spread your gay little wings, buddy. You can find me if you
need me.”

 —–

Michiru wondered sometimes why she attended dances.
Homecoming and prom she understood—they were appearances, she would be crowned
Queen and have her picture in the papers, and her family would have one more
thing to brag to their friends about. But the mid-year frivolities… She sighed
and nodded as Rei chewed out a boy for asking her to dance. Why Rei came was perhaps
a bigger mystery– though she faced a different side of the same pressures as
Michiru, she was less apt to playing along. She knew Senator Hino oft wished he’d
had a son, so that his child might court the Kaioh prodigy rather than compete
with her. That Rei would have better luck as she was was lost on him.

Michiru supposed the night would go as it always did—accept a
dance from her homecoming king, and then a few from those who might be her
match for prom. Perhaps it all came down to training, the sweaty gym was the
young version of a high society gala, the attendees not yet skilled in hiding
their crude underbellies.

But then someone caught her eye. At first it seemed a boy in
a sharp costume, going for a formal masquerade rather than any of the silliness
others sported. But then she noticed the slight curve of chest and hip, the
uncertainty in movement, the charming line of the chin.

It was a girl, and a girl the way the partners of Michiru’s
dreams were girls. Their eyes met through her mask. There was something
familiar, though Michiru had never met anyone like her before. She rose from
her seat on the bleachers, not bothering to let Rei know where she as going. She
needed to know the stranger. She needed to meet this woman.

As if on cue, the dj announced the first slow song of the
night.

“Um, hi,” the other girl said as Michiru drew close.

Michiru could feel her nervousness. There was something
endlessly charming about it. “Hello.”

“Would you, well, would you like to dance with me?”

“I would.”

The butch’s hand was sweaty as she took Michiru’s, her
fingers shaking slightly. Michiru guided her other hand to her waist. As their
eyes met again, close enough to feel each other’s breath, Michiru felt a
familiarity she hadn’t expected.

“We’ve met, haven’t we?”

“Sort of.” She flushed red under her mask.

Michiru thought of the tomboy in homeroom, blushing whenever
the teacher called on her, playing with her long hair like she wanted to
disappear. Michiru had thought of her, looked at her, more than she cared to
admit. They’d sort of met, hadn’t they? Having never spoken, but seeing each other
every morning… Michiru ran her hand along the edge of the girl’s hair, wondering
how recently it had been cut. “I don’t want to be wrong about who you are.”

“Don’t guess.” Her eyes widened, like hearing the wrong name
might break her. “I think… Monday, if you want to find me, you’ll be able to.
And if you don’t, it’s okay.”

I’ll want to find you.
But Michiru said nothing and sank into the girl for the rest of the song. She
could feel their heartbeats mix in their fingertips, the other girl’s pounding hard
even as she got more confident in her movements.

“Tell me something that isn’t your name,” Michiru said
finally as the music faded into another DJ announcement.

“Um. My favorite color is blue, which I know isn’t original,
but it’s nice.” Michiru nodded for her to keep going. “And… I like flowers, but
not how people perceive liking flowers. Besides right now, running is about the
only time I really feel good.” She blushed again, and swallowed hard. “And
maybe this goes without saying, but in case it doesn’t, I’m… I like girls. And
I am a girl.”

Michiru stepped into what little space remained between
them. “I have one more question.”

The girl swallowed again. “Okay.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Her eyes went wide, but she nodded. Michiru stood on tip toe
and, gently as she could, placed her lips on hers. For a moment, the whole
world was still, narrowed down to the two of them.

Michiru rose a hand to the girl’s face as she pulled away. “I
want to know who you are.”

“I think you’ll be disappointed.”

“I don’t.” Though she wondered—if it wasn’t the girl she’d
been watching, would she be? “Whoever you are, I want to see you again.”

“Well. If that’s true, you’ll see me at school. And if– if
you still want to… you can ask me then.” She took Michiru’s hand and kissed her
knuckles. “I think I should leave. This… I want to keep this night beautiful.”

Before Michiru could protest, she was gone, taken from
Michiru’s sight in the crowd of bodies.

She closed her eyes, committing every second to memory. Come
Monday, she’d find the girl.

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment

Alrighty here is my entry for Doc’s birthday contest, for the prompt “I won’t leave you.” T e c h n i c a l l y it’s a sequel to a much older fic, because that’s where the idea took me, but I did my best to make it stand on its own (especially because the old fic is… not so good looking back on it now).

The Edge
~1100 words
After a battle that wipes out Usagi and most of the Senshi, all that’s left of Minako is Venus, or so it seems. Haruka won’t accept Mina’s gone for good.

Haruka had
thought the hardest part was behind her. She’d dragged herself through the
despair, she’d kept going, she’d gotten what help she needed to get here. But
now, seeing that long blonde hair in the moonlight, she knew the hardest part
was yet to come.

“Mina!” she
yelled, to no response. The wind blew strong here on the cliff, but she feared
it hadn’t swallowed the sound. With a deep breath and a heaviness in her gut,
she tried again: “Venus!”

Venus did
not turn, merely rose a hand over the space beside her. Haruka walked up
slowly. The terrain felt uncertain under her feet, each rock ready to tumble
into the ravine below. Venus stood right on the edge. The toes of her shoes
curled over. Haruka had the obscene urge to make a toe the line joke.

“Why are you
here, Uranus?”

“I came for
you. Why are you here?”

Venus stared
up at the moon. Her eyes had gone gold, a pale, inhuman yellow that spoke of
power. “I don’t know.” Her face contorted, but the gold eyes did not tear.
Haruka wondered if they even could. “Last time it was quick. She died, we
failed, our right to exist ended until we could try again to prove ourselves
worthy.”

She shifted
her weight back and forth. Haruka reached for her hand, but Venus tolerated no
touch. “There was nothing we could do.”

“You would
say that.” Venus looked at Haruka for the first time, and even though her face
bore nothing but contempt, Haruka felt relief. “You never were cut out for
this. But I’m not like you. I could have saved her. I exist to save her.”

“I don’t
think that’s true,” Haruka said, slow and careful. “I think you exist for more
than that.”

“There is
nothing more.”

Venus turned
back towards the moon, and despair washed back over Haruka. There had been
things she could have done, she could have saved Usagi and Michiru and the rest
of them. But she was here and they were gone and all the hold she’d fought to
have on keeping on started to slip away. She’d ostensibly come for Mina, but really
she’d come for herself. She needed Mina, needed to know she could save
something. And she couldn’t. She looked over the cliff. It didn’t call to her,
the way holing up and drinking until she slipped away had. Part of her felt
almost cowardly for it.

“I can’t do
it either,” Venus said, her voice barely loud enough to cut through the wind. “It’s
what I’m supposed to do, isn’t it? Die for duty, or the loss of it.” For a
moment, Haruka saw Minako, the nights they’d stared down what it all meant, the
secret tears Mina had shed knowing her whole life wasn’t really hers. “I’m not
the soldier I’m supposed to be.”

“Mina…”

A misstep.
Venus slammed back to rigidity. “You may go.”

“I won’t
leave you.”

“It wasn’t a
question, Uranus. I’m your commander and I’m ordering you to leave.”

“Well, I’m a
bad soldier, aren’t I? That’s what you always say.” Haruka felt tears sting in
her own eyes. She wiped them away. “I need you, okay? I don’t have anything else
left. And neither do you, maybe. Just me.”

She waited
for Venus to tell her she was nothing. She heard it in her head, that she was
worthless, that she shouldn’t have the audacity to think she could mean
anything, but the words never came aloud. Venus’s shoulders slumped.

“Do you remember
being Mina?” Haruka dared to ask in a whisper.

“I wish I
didn’t.”

“Well, Mina
wished she remembered less of being you, so I guess you’re even.”

Venus shook her head. “I never should
have been that girl. She made me weak.” She spat into the abyss. “I
lost sight of the important things.”

Haruka sat and let her legs dangle and stared
at the distant dark line of the horizon. “You used to tell me there was
nothing more important than a good time.”

“I know that,” Venus
snarled. “I know who I was, I know all my failings.”

“They’re not failings to me. And they
weren’t to her, either.”

“Of course they were, Serenity is dead.”

“But she lived, and she loved you.”
Haruka looked up. There was a knot in her chest, she couldn’t help thinking of
Michiru and her own failings. “And I still love you. And Rei–”

“Don’t.”

“Rei and Usagi would both kick your ass
for this. Or well, Rei would try and Usagi would cry on you. But they’re not
here, so I have to do it for them.”

“As if you could.” Venus sniffed,
halfway between a sob and a smile. There were
tears in her pale eyes. 

“I could do it Usagi’s way. There’s
plenty to cry about.” She looked at Venus, daring to see Minako still
inside her. “You miss them, don’t you? Who they were this time?”

Venus sat down, seeming to shrink into a more
human form. “Isn’t it enough that I failed? The grand golden soldier has
fallen. Isn’t that enough despair? I don’t want to be the girl who feels more
than that.” She put her head on her knees. “I’ve been through this
before. I loved Serenity as my liege.”

And now you love her and everyone else as
people, but Haruka knew better than to
say it so plainly. “I don’t remember that life much. But I understand
some.” She picked up a rock and bounced it in her hand. “I was gonna
let myself disappear, in that little house Michiru bought us. Just hide out
until the world went on without me. Because how can I go on without Michiru?
And the rest of them?” She threw her rock hard over the edge. “But
I’ve got you, and if I can do anything for you, that might be enough for
me.”

Venus’s chest heaved. “I don’t know if I
can do this, Haruka.” She sobbed and clawed at the frayed edges of her
skirt.

“Neither do
I. But I’m gonna try for you.”

“It’s easier
to let Venus take over. She’s always been ready, and this… she can get through
this.”

“Maybe we
can too.” Haruka rubbed her back as Mina’s transformation faded and the
tattered material of her fuku turned to soft cotton under her fingers. She sat
in the t-shirt she’d been in before this whole mess started. It would have been
like nothing had happened if not for the bruises and cuts making abstract art
across her skin. “I love you, Mina.”

Minako
sobbed, big heaving sobs of a kind even Usagi had never matched. Haruka pulled
her close. She clung on, like Haruka was all she had in the world, and maybe
she was.

“Don’t let
me go, Haruka. Don’t let me go.”

“I won’t.”
Haruka held her tight. “I can’t promise we’re gonna be okay, but I promise we’re
gonna be here.”

second-cause-genuinely-never-thought-about-it AU: Haruka or Michiru, but not both, are attacked by a Dark Kingdom-era monster and accidentally have her powers awakened early. With no Pluto around to clarify the actual mission and only everyone’s vague memories, she becomes a member of team. (When she comes in and what Inners are already active is your call)

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment
  • It would be Haruka, because Haruka’s already aching to be something, she’s ready to be a hero and a part of a good thing
  • She comes in around the same time as Mako, as things are starting to get a little more serious
  • She gets on great with Usagi and Mako and has tension with Rei and Ami, but they make it work
  • The fact that Haruka and Mako fill the same sort of charge-in-and-fight role is not lost on Rei and Ami, but they don’t know enough about the Silver Millenium to be sure it’s strange
  • Minako does, when she joins up, expecting four girls and getting five
  • Her memories of the Outers come easier this time, because she is alarmed and if this is a threat to her princess, she needs to know
  • She lets Haruka stay and says nothing, but she keeps an eye on her
  • It doesn’t affect the story terribly much until the Talisman arc comes around, because by then Haruka is fairly happy and well-adjusted and part of a seemingly unbreakable team
  • Michiru still sees her in her dreams, but she’s untouchable. They’re supposed to have this mission together, but Haruka has no reason to join her
  • She fights alone, pushing away the inners as much as she can. She resents them, they have what shes supposed to have.
  • THIS ALSO MEANS AS THE DEATH BUSTERS GO THROUGH TARGETING THE INNERS, THEY ACTUALLY FIND A TALISMAN
  • Haruka has a team of friends ready to protect her, but it’s Michiru who saves her– she puts it together, knowing they were supposed to be partners, and distracts Eudial by shooting out her own Talisman
  • The problem is, as the smoke clears and they know what their mission is, is now Michiru has a Haruka who’s spent a year or so on the Usagi-can-do-anything team, and that Haruka isn’t game for killing a little girl
  • Michiru is left to make the hard choices alone (perhaps with Pluto, but Pluto has a strange relationship to the concept of choice)
  • The split between the inners and outers becomes even wider than in canon, Michiru and Pluto split off entirely, only coming back when the threat of Galaxia makes their help more important than what they tried to do

AU where Michiru is the princess

~ sittingoverheredreaming ~ Leave a comment
  • Mina’s whole life is suffering
  • She is a good soldier she knows her duty but goddamn she wants to put a knife in her princess’s back
  • Usagi/Serenity is selfish, absolutely, but Mina can handle it and let love outweigh resentment because it comes from naivete, she sees her as a child. Michiru has none of that, she is cold, her selfish moments have no pretty wrapping
  • Michiru’s life is also suffering, she goes from being her parents’ porcelain poseable doll to the perfect protected princess, and there’s no room for her to ever be a person
  • She tells Beryl to take the crystal, take the kingdom, take the whole goddamn world because there’s never been anything in it for Michiru
  • Well, there was one thing, but she died alone in the snow for a destiny Michiru doesn’t even want
  • (On Haruka’s lips she tasted a simpler life, but even that she couldn’t trust because they were princess and knight, and what feelings were real and what were Haruka playing her assigned role?)
  • Beryl has everything she wanted– not the crystal, but the moon laid low
  • she doesn’t take the crystal. she sees now her greatest revenge– the moon princess gets to live on, knowing her soldiers died for her, knowing she gave up, knowing she’ll never have the life she wants
  • there is no resurrection, the crystal too is cruel at times