Major Illness/A Terrible Secret

Another installation of Haruka Dies! Doc and Dreaming’s Angstober fun! I can’t really justify this being late for BOTH prompt days it works for, as it is a) not long (1177 words) and b) more like 3 drabbles strung together than a proper fic. BUT HERE IT IS. Chronologically, this takes place first, then this, this, this, and finally this.

Haruka could never get in the habit of going to the doctor. She took Himeka religiously, not a check up was missed nor a fever unevaluated. Michiru got her encouragement to go as well, even. But Haruka herself? Her mother’s old admonishments played in her head every time. Never mind that they had excellent insurance now, that even without Michiru’s parents’ money they made enough to comfortably cover almost any copay that was thrown at them, Haruka had to suck it up.

It had worked so far. But now here she was, waiting on a blood test to determine what scary unpronounceable word applied to her.

No, none of them applied to her. The doctor was overreacting, saying things to run more tests and get more money. That was what doctors did. If Haruka was really sick, she’d be in bed.

Just that morning, she’d walked Himeka to school. The moment they’d gotten out of Michiru’s watchful gaze, her little girl had lifted up her arms. “Papa, I want to ride!” Haruka hoisted her onto her back, running and jumping along the rode side as Himeka screamed with laughter.

Maybe that had taken more out of her than it should have, but that was part of getting old, wasn’t it? And if she’d gotten a little thin, she just hadn’t been eating enough, her metabolism had always been hard to keep up with. And if she’d passed out at work, that just meant—

“Ms. Tennoh?”

She stood. The doctor’s face was worn with lines behind her glasses. They all converged into an image of worry.

“Is there anyone with you? Anyone you would like us to call?”

Haruka opened her mouth to say her wife, they could call Michiru. But this was bad news. Michiru didn’t deserve bad news in the middle of the day. “No, I’d like to hear this alone.”

—-

Himeka bounded out of the school’s double doors and straight into Haruka’s arms. “Papa! Look what I made!” She held up a paper nearly as long as her arm-span emblazoned with a finger painted pink pig.

“You’re taking after your mama, I see.”

Himeka beamed. “Can you carry me home?”

Haruka hesitated.

You need to take it easy. We’ll run more tests when you come back tomorrow, but it’s very likely that a tumor…

“Of course, princess.” They were wrong, they had to be wrong. She’d fought a goddamn war against aliens and demons and god only knew what else, and if she could get through that then she couldn’t die now. Haruka took Himeka on her shoulders and ran.

“Papa, slow down!”

But she couldn’t. Whatever was inside her was going to catch her, and her old instincts kicked in. Charge into battle or run away. Haruka’s pulse rang in her ears, her heart felt like it was ripping apart with every ragged breath. Himeka leaned in and held onto her for dear life. Haruka hoped she would never let go.

Michiru wasn’t home yet when they got there. “What do you say we make dinner for Mama tonight?”

“Mama wants pizza.”

“Does she?”

Himeka straightened her stance and nodded solemnly. “She ab-sol-ut-el-y does.” She smiled. “That’s a good word, isn’t it?”

“A very good word.” Haruka rummaged in the cupboard to find their pizza pan. “Is it on your vocabulary list?”

“No, Auntie Mina taught it to me.”

Haruka laughed, but it ripped at her throat halfway up and brought tears in her eyes. Where was she going to be when Mina started teaching Himeka less savory things? Who was going to yell at her when she told Himeka about condoms or the best way to pick pocket men? Minako wouldn’t give a flying fuck about any of Michiru’s objections, Haruka had to be there. She grabbed the pan and retreated into the light.

“You’re the smartest girl I’ve ever known, you know that?”

Himeka frowned. “But Kimi is better in—“

“No.” Haruka scooped her up. “You’re my smartest girl.” She ruffled her hair. “And the prettiest, and the bravest, and—“

“Papa stop!” Himeka giggled into her shoulder. “You’re being silly.”

“Am I? I’d better stop, there’s no room for silliness in pizza making.”

There was, it turned out, a lot of room for silliness in pizza making.  By the time Michiru walked in there was a very lopsided pizza in the oven and quite a lot of sauce on the counter and their faces. Not a drop on Himeka’s white shirt, though, Haruka had to proudly note.

Michiru hung her coat on the wrack with a resigned smile. “Sometimes I forget I’m coming home to two children.”

“Mama, we made you dinner!”

“I see that.” She grabbed a paper towel and wiped Himeka’s face. “I trust you kept your Papa in line? We’re not having candy?”

Himeka nodded. “I was very stern.” That was probably a Rei word, Haruka mused. Perhaps Rei…

Michiru peered into the oven. “You even put some vegetables on, well done.”

“Hey.” Haruka wrapped her arms around Michiru from behind. “The spinach was my idea.”

“I’m shocked.” She turned and gave Haruka a peck on the cheek. “But I suppose if you’ve both been so good, we might be able to have the dessert I got from Mako…”

Himeka shrieked with delight.

—-

An ordinary evening had no right to be so beautiful, Haruka mused as she climbed into bed that night. It wasn’t fair for the universe to throw everything she had to lose in her face. She’d get better. She swore to God she’d get better, even if the doctors were right in their suspicions. Michiru and Himeka needed her.

“I got an interesting call today,” Michiru said from the bathroom.

Haruka’s heart dropped. Michiru knew, and would be so scared, and Haruka didn’t want to do this tonight, Michiru didn’t deserve it. “Oh?”

Michiru came into the bedroom. Her robe hung off her shoulders, but she clutched it around her chest. “You fainted at work. Mikey thought I should know.”

Damn it, Mikey. She’d have to talk to him about this, she didn’t call his wife about personal business. But it wasn’t the hospital, and that was something. “Yeah, I… I guess I didn’t eat enough or something.”

A lie for protection was alright, wasn’t it?

Michiru’s brow knotted. “You have been…” She pressed her lips together. She’d noticed, then, that Haruka had lost weight. Haruka prayed that was all.  “I guess we’ll have to make pancakes in the morning to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

Haruka smiled, but a hurricane roared inside her. “Come here.”

Michiru climbed onto the bed. Haruka put her hands on her waist, thumbs caressing the fabric over her hips. “I love you.” She pressed her head into her neck. “So much.”

“I love you, Haruka.” Her arms wrapped around Haruka’s body, one hand tangling into her hair. “Please never scare me like that again.”

“I won’t.” Haruka would keep her secret until she got better. She kissed along the edge of Michiru’s robe. “I promise.”