I’m gonna vent for a sec, sorry
I’m feeling some complicated feelings because I didn’t eat enough yesterday (hence why running was hard today), sometimes that happens when people talk about counting calories because it makes me feel bad/wrong that I don’t do it anymore, which is bullshit, but sometimes it’s so easy to slip back because I still know so much, I memorized so many counts, someone asks how a pbj is 580 calories and I KNOW how, I can rattle off the components and then I look at my sandwich and sugar bomb of a drink and it’s like UM
And then it is, of course, who else but the girl, so there’s the weird combo of the kinship that comes from knowing someone else goes through this shit, and the protectiveness that I feel over anyone I like even in a friend capacity, and extra helping of concern because I’m THAT person when I have romantic feelings, AND a little bit of HOLY SHIT MAYBE IT’S GOOD WE’RE NOT DATING BECAUSE I’D SWING TOWARDS NO EATING WHENEVER SHE USES THIS DUMB COUNTING APP IN FRONT OF ME
and really I just have to continue working on this, I know I’ve come a long way, but it’s just weird and complicated to deal with
SittingOverHereDreaming 