cissexism cw – SittingOverHereDreaming

crystalxizzle replied to your post “Oh[[MOR] I had a good time today, but I also really, really didn’t….”

It’s not nothing. It’s okay to feel upset about that! You shouldn’t feel like your gender is invalidated, by anyone! I don’t know if I’m in the right ballpark here, but if you’re feeling a little bad or guilty about your crush now, remember that not everyone’s perfect. I know I still have plenty of room to grow on gender issues. That’s one of the reasons why I’m so lucky to have you as a friend to help me be better! And I’m pretty sure you can help her be better too!

Thanks Alice ❤ I’m going to try talking to her about it directly, because part of the problem might be that gender stuff still seems pretty abstract to her. It’s hard to learn everything (I’m still learning too!) so I’m hoping if I’m like, hey this upsets me for these reasons it’ll start being more real and clear for her. (I don’t know how much the person she misgenders most has talked to her about it, so I’m hopeful that maybe it’s that they’ve only mentioned it in passing and she just needs to have some open conversations for it to click)

(Also never be sorry for saying things like this I’m so so lucky to have you as a friend I love you)

paksenarrion-reader replied to your post “Oh[[MOR] I had a good time today, but I also really, really didn’t….”

adding to the hugs, since I don’t have anything useful to say

spaceloveandrobots replied to your post “Oh[[MOR] I had a good time today, but I also really, really didn’t….”

(huuuug)

Thank you both ❤

I had a good time today, but I also really, really didn’t. She showed me all the pictures of her trip and I bought her dinner and we played with the dogs and it was all fun.

And I’d love to say the only downside is I don’t think she likes me the way I like her except I can’t tell how much of that came from her and how much of it was a change in feeling on my part because I do still like her but holy shit the cissexism. Not malicious or anything, but like, there’s so much learning and unlearning she’s gotta do and PLEASE can she get people’s pronouns right ONCE and not say opposite gender (I let that one slide because okay no one needs to be on it 24/7 but I can’t let pronouns slide when she should know better. the whole thing has left me uncomfortable and sad; even without my less than binary leanings that crop up, my womanhood is reliant on the validity of other options) (I thought when she didn’t question my womanhood after I let her know I bind was her understanding but now I feel like it was the opposite)

I’d love to just be sad over maybe feeling her mentioning her crush on a straight girl in her study abroad group meaning she doesn’t like me, or our vibe feeling suddenly strictly unromantic, and I AM really sad about that, but this is a worse rug to pull out from under my feet

(it shouldn’t feel like that because the pronoun thing isn’t NEW but I let myself believe it was a MISTAKE and I mean to some extent it IS but also I felt like the rest of the night anytime she mentioned gender things she was trying to throw me a bone and it’s weird and I’m sad and maybe she doesn’t like me that way and maybe that’s for the best except no it’s not for the best I still really like her)

(also I recognize a lot of how much this is upsetting me is timing, there have been a few things setting off my gender feels in the past week)