If I can wish for one thing, let it be that I never say I wish I had the confidence to try something
Author: sittingoverheredreaming
25, gay, nerd. Probably crying as we speak.
Harumichi BatB Chapter 15! Here is the masterpost, here is the chapter, HAPPY FRIDAY.
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Michiru was in two minds as she left Minako alone in the entryway– one to go somewhere she would not be found, and one to go somewhere she could. The later won out, her stupid heart clinging to its stupid hope, and she fled to her chambers.
Haruka would not come after her.
She would let her go.
It was the right thing, but it was not the thing Michiru wanted. No, as she entered the chamber, she wanted Haruka more than anything. Damn the curse and damn breaking it, for a moment none of it had mattered, and perhaps she had learned nothing after all for that desire consumed her. Her heart raged against its confines, go to her, fight for her, show her you are worthy.
But I am not worthy. She picked up a shard of mirror off the floor. Misery loved no company more than its own face.
In the reflection, she saw the gun seconds before it went off.
Fragments of her mind scattered around the pain. First, her unfailing superiority, marvelling that the shooter had the opportunity for a headshot and instead hit her scale-protected shoulder, where she didn’t even have to rely on Usagi to heal. Second, confusion. It was not Minako in her doorway. Haruka had only mentioned Minako. This was another woman, short dark hair, pale skin. Knowing eyes.
Third– rage. Pure, vindictive rage. This woman would hurt for this.
Michiru slid her body to the ground, one hand on her bleeding shoulder, and waited. The woman stepped up, trigger finger at the ready for another shot. “All this pain you’ve caused,” she said, more venom in her voice than Michiru had expected. “And it’s this easy to be rid of you?”
Michiru tried to piece that together. Poisonous tendrils of despair wound their way around her heart. This woman was unsurprised to see her. This woman was prepared. This woman knew far too much on what to expect.
Michiru had been set up. It was too obvious in hindsight. No one, and most certainly not someone like Haruka, would ever be gentle towards her without some hidden motive.
She wanted to scream, or cry, but instead she asked, voice low, “How did she tell you about me?” There had been a clever woman, once, who’d found a way to use the forest birds as carrier pigeons. Another had tried to paint a distress message on the wall outside her window, though she had been caught.
“There are stories about you,” the woman said. “And now that we’ve found you, there won’t be any more.”
That would be true. Michiru would never open her doors or her heart again. But she would not give this sneak the satisfaction of killing her.
She was a beast, after all. What could a beast do but fight to survive?
Quick as a snake, she shot up and grabbed the gun, crushing the barrel in her claws. The woman’s face lost all color. Michiru threw it aside. She took the woman by the neck. “Your way is quite a dirty method of hunting a monster, isn’t it?” She tightened her grip as the woman gasped. “Did you think you could convince me I was too human to fight you? Did you think I’d fall in love and just lie down to die when you took it away?”
“Michiru!”
Michiru let the woman collapse and turned on Haruka before she could enter the room. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?”
Haruka shook her head, stepping back down the hall.
“I should have known. You could have no real interest in me. It was a game. You wanted my guard down so that you and your friends could have a bit of sport.”
“No, I don’t know who that is, Michiru, please—“
“Why should I believe you?” She grabbed the front of Haruka’s shirt, claws raking over and into the soft skin beneath. “Do you think I’m so gullible as to think it’s a coincidence this happens as soon as your friend shows up?” She shoved her against the wall. “You nearly played me for a fool. You nearly had me.”
“No I—“
“Don’t!” She threw Haruka to the ground. “You denied my monstrousness to hide your own. Leave this place.”
“Michi—“
She swung her claws into the wall, leaving scores in the stone. “I will not be humiliated further!”
Uneven footsteps sounded down the hall. Michiru turned at just the moment for a thrown object to smack her across the face.
Minako stopped and removed her other shoe. “Let her go.”
Michiru looked at the shoe on the floor, then back to Minako. “You’re unarmed.” She laughed. “Oh, you did think you played the game well, didn’t you?” She approached slowly. There was a perverse joy, sometimes, in being a monster. There were moments where she felt sweet vindication in how the world saw her, and whatever self hatred would come after, those times washed over her tongue like well-aged wine.
Minako kicked, and Michiru let her heel catch her chin. The cut of her teeth against her cheek felt right. A lady never made the first strike. And now—
And now Haruka was at their feet, bleeding on the ground between them. “Don’t.” She looked from Michiru to Minako and back again. “Please don’t.”
“I’m not letting her hurt you more,” Mina said, still brandishing her shoe as though it were a weapon.
“Mina, please.”
It hit Michiru like another bullet. Something inside her burst and bled.
Haruka plead for them both. Haruka had not lied.
Minako had believed Haruka was in danger. And Michiru had proved her right.
“No,” she whispered, retreating. “No.” She tore at the shoulders of her dress with her claws. “No.”
“Michiru…” Haruka stood, shaky.
“No. Stay away.” Every worst thing she’d ever believed about herself had been right. Everything except that she was unlovable, and that was much, much worse. “Stay away from me.”
“I didn’t—“
“I know.” Her claws raked through the gown, against her scales, it did not matter. “Don’t get any closer.”
Haruka stopped, listening to caution, it seemed, for once in her life. It was good, it was right, and still Michiru’s heart sunk lower.
“Rei!”
Michiru did not turn in time to see the prompt for Minako’s exclamation. She heard the gun, and this time whoever it was was smart enough to go for a headshot.
Happy (late) Birthday! This is an entry for “Allegiances, Promises, and the Truth” in the Rei and Mina category. I hope you enjoy it! While CT isn’t your thing, your recent writing about it caught me and I wound up here. (Let me know if the formatting gets weird and I’ll resubmit)
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From far off, it looked like the palace lawn was covered in crows. People moved differently when mourning, they shuffled and ruffled like birds unable to take flight with grief weighing so heavy upon them. It isn’t even your grief to bear, Rei thought as she drew closer to the crowd, cloaked in black herself. You don’t know anything.
But she was not here to pass judgement. She had been ordered to find one person, one needle in the stack of feathers.
Luckily, the needle was tall and blonde and even less at ease than everyone else there.
Haruka lit up when she saw Rei. Michiru put a hand on her arm, as though to remind her that they were in mourning for the King, and should act accordingly.
“I didn’t think any of you would be out here,” Haruka said anyway. For a moment Rei feared she would hug her, but Michiru reigned her in. “Is Mina coming?”
“No. Only me.”
Haruka frowned. “I know Usagi’s going through a lot, but…” She shook her head. “I should be less selfish, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Rei pressed her lips together. “We’re just… we’re needed. She can’t be alone right now. But she wanted me to be with you today.”
Haruka nodded, but Michiru peered at Rei like she was something in the aqua mirror, something she could see through to the core of. Neither of us saw this coming, Rei thought, so look all you want.
The murmurs of the crowd silenced as the first figures appeared on the balcony— Jupiter and Mercury, black cloaks wrapped around their shoulders to veil the garish colors of their uniforms. They stood to either side of the doorway as Small Lady emerged, followed by the woman everyone waited for.
A black veil was pinned into her odangos, shielding her tear-rimmed eyes from view. Her dress was simple, long and black and loose, pooling at her feet.
“Thank you,” she began. “Thank you all for sharing the warmth of your hearts, today, as we grieve the passing of Endymion, beloved king, gentle husband, kind father…”
Michiru’s eyes widened. Rei stayed silent. She watched Haruka through the speech, waited for any moment of recognition. But there was nothing, save for one shiny tear as Small Lady took the microphone and gave a measured end to the speech over the muffled sound of sobs.
“She should have waited until she was ready,” Haruka said after. “Usagi’s too raw now.”
Michiru looked between Haruka and Rei. When Rei stayed silent, she gave a weak smile. “It’s important that she shows what strength she has. The kingdom cannot appear vulnerable.”
It was the truth in its rawest terms, and Rei prayed everyone would remember that as she approached Serenity’s chambers later.
“Rei?”
“I’m here.” She entered, feeling wrong, taking things in piece by piece.
The palace had always been spotless, but now no one was permitted in to clean. Sheets were strewn about the room, soft white curves masking the harsh shine of the crystal floors. The mourning veil sat stark against the creams of the pillows, odangos and loose hair almost blending into their surroundings in comparison. The gown was only half removed, clasps undone to bear back and shoulders, but it seemed grief and taken over after that, and without intervention it would stay half-on for the rest of the night, if not for days.
“Did you find her?”
“I did. She’s doing well.” Rei knew the real question, and spoke carefully. “She had hoped to see—“
“She won’t see Mina for a very long time.” She sat up, careless of how her dress slipped further down. “She doesn’t know, does she?”
Rei cast her eyes away. “No. I think Michiru does, but she will not tell unless I say to.”
“Mmm.” She leaned back. “You can look, you know. I always figured you thought about it. I did. And now why not?”
“Why not?” Rei fought down the fiery bile of anger rising in her throat. Grief warps things, she told herself.
“You can’t tell me you never wanted your Princess.” She stood now, wobbling, drunk on her own tears. “You could have her, now.”
“Don’t.”
“You’ve taken the knee for your Princess all your life, and now—“
“I said don’t, Mina.”
Mina shrunk away, looking just the way Usagi always had when Rei got too sharp, except it didn’t reach her eyes. Her eyes were still hers, too hard, too forceful, too deep a blue to be Usagi’s.
“If we have to do this,” she said. “I just thought we could have some fun.” Tears welled up, and she wiped them away roughly. “I debated if we needed an Endymion, so you should be grateful.”
Another time, Rei might have been angry at the suggestion. Or maybe have laughed. She couldn’t be sure, now. “Admitting his death gives you a lot of room,” she said carefully instead. “And I don’t think I could play the part convincingly.”
Mina smiled with Usagi’s mouth. “Yeah, I always told you I was the best actress. And now you know it’s true.” The smile twisted, fake now, pain now. “Even my best friend couldn’t see past my disguise. I’m just that good.”
“Mina…”
She laughed. “Maybe we should have done this all along. Usagi hated meetings, and diplomacy, and I hated having her vulnerable. Maybe I should have taken her place all the time, and then maybe—“
“They weren’t killed at a state function, Mina.”
“I. Fucking. Know.” Her glamour dropped, and she threw the disguise pen at Rei’s head. “Nothing fucking matters.” Her body, really hers for the first time in days, shook. “I should just go back on my word, who cares if this place burns?”
You do. But Rei knew better than to say it.
“Do you know how hard it is too look in the mirror and see her? To know I failed and she died and still see her?”
“It’s hard to see you look like her.”
Mina barked a false laugh. “Please. You don’t see me look like her. You see her. You wouldn’t know if you hadn’t seen her give me the pen.”
“I would know.” Rei strode towards her and put her hands on her shoulders. “There’s differences, up close. Haruka would see that, too, if you let her.”
“You’re too bad an actress to even lie well.” Mina wavered, broke. She let Rei pull her into her chest as she sobbed. “I don’t want to do this,” she gasped. “I don’t want to lose myself for her.” Rei rubbed her back slowly. “I always feared Venus would take me over someday, but this is worse.”
“You told me to kill you once, if that happened. You claimed to be drunk, but I knew you were giving a real order.”
“And you would have done it for me. You would have kept your promise.” Mina took a few shaky breaths. “I thought she might take over, with Serenity gone. I thought the loss might trigger Silver Millenium memories too strongly. But she doesn’t want this duty any more than I do.”
“You’re stronger than her. Than anyone.”
“I’d rather be weak. I’d rather be weak and have Haruka and you and everyone else see me than be strong enough to do this.”
“I know,” Rei said, knowing exactly how untrue it was. “It’s only for a little while. Just until Small Lady come of age.” The moment she could use the crystal, the moment she could make a show of it and keep enemies at bay, they would end this.
“Which might be tomorrow, or might be another hundred years.” Mina pulled back and retrieved the disguise pen off the floor. “I got a raw deal, Rei. All these years of service, and she finds a way to ask more of me.” She spun the pen in her hand, changing once again into Usagi. “And I’m sucker enough to promise her.”
“I’m here,” Rei said. “I’m here for whatever you need.”
Usagi-Mina smiled. “Loyal as you are, I’ll never be sure who you’re here for.” She stood, now, with all of Mina’s strength and all Usagi’s power. “As your queen and as your general, I command you to leave the palace. I will send for you if your services are needed.”
“Mina…”
“Go, Rei.”
She did, wondering if it would have been better to defy the order and stay, but wondering more who she really would have been staying for.
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This is FUCKING GENIUS. I cannot believe I never thought of it, I am borderline furious at myself, because this is the best of all possible angst, Mina having to be Serenity because she failed to protect her? Holy shit yes please. Also the IMAGERY in this. Thank you!
Ahhhhh I’m so glad this came through alright and you liked it!
So my wife and I are meeting with a realtor tomorrow morning, which is very exciting, BUT it also means I won’t be on tumblr at the normal BatB post time. I can either queue this week’s chapter, OR post it say, roughly 12 hours early. UP TO YOU.
ANOTHER CONCEPT: all non-finale arc episodes of either S or Supers end with alternating shorts done in simpler animation than the rest of the show: Miss Michiru’s Finishing School and Tennoh’s Teachings for Tough Girls. The first is played straight the entire time, with the inners fawning over Michiru and trying to do various ~proper lady~ things (usual gag is Usagi and/or Mina failing, but occasionally it’s Rei or Ami for a twist), and the later devolves into them proving they’re already tougher than Haruka. Mina brings in puppy pictures one day just to make her cry. She and Usagi are reduced to tears the rest of the short.
Eventually Haruka and Michiru start attending each other’s classes. The inners realize Michiru should have been teaching both the entire time.
CONCEPT:
An Alternate S/SuperS/Original Stars movie wherein the Inners notice Michiru is looking tired and seems busier than usual. So they go to Haruka and Haruka is distraught and clueless, so they team up because Something Must be Wrong. And then most of the movie is hijinks as they try to do nice things for Michiru and also INVESTIGATE, and they do find several Youma but defeating them does nothing to improve the situation.
And then finally towards the end they run into Setsuna and tell her the problem, she says she knows just what to do.
So they go over to Michiru’s house and huddle behind Setsuna as she rings the bell.
And then she just asks Michiru what is wrong because they are all worried about her.
Michiru laughs in the most lady like way while still conveying oh my god these idiots and explains that her brother is getting married on very short notice and she’s been drawn into the planning despite not wanting to go. But since everyone has been so concerned maybe they could be her plus… seven?
And the movie ends with everyone having a blast and being complete disasters on the dance floor at a Very Important Kaioh Event. Also Haruka and Michiru dance together and kiss, the end.
Chapter 14 of BatB! Catch up, read, comment, the end is approaching!
________Hotaru stopped the car and turned to Mina. “Are you sure about this? There’s still time to back out.”
“I should be saying that to you. I’ve got the reason to be here.”
“Please, this is too cool for me to back out now.” But she hesitated with her hand on the door handle, staring ahead. “You think there’s any chance Teenie’s great gran is still in there somehow?”
“It would hardly be the weirdest thing in this scenario.” Minako squinted at Hotaru in the dark. “Is that why you’ve been so interested in my case?”
“Nah, I hardly even believed the whole thing until we were here. I just like to annoy Rei.” She grinned. “But since it is real… it would be nice if they got a little closure, one way or another.”
“Well, what’s better closure than killing the damn monster?” Mina opened her door. “Let’s do this.”
As soon as Hotaru disappeared around the corner to sneak in, Mina’s bravado deserted her. They’d decided she was safer unarmed, in case the monster would notice. She had nothing to protect her but natural charm. She had a lot of it, but faced with the big oak door in the dark, it didn’t feel like enough.
Minako knocked hard anyway, and then pushed her way inside. “Hello?” She yelled. Her voice echoed against the walls and made her feel small. “Haruka?”
“You shouldn’t be here.”
My wife and I have talked about a weekend get away for months now, and this week they decided we’re just going to do it and booked a hotel, and I am super excited and emotional and this workday is going way too slow
Chapter 14 of BatB! Catch up, read, comment, the end is approaching!
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Hotaru stopped the car and turned to Mina. “Are you sure about this? There’s still time to back out.”
“I should be saying that to you. I’ve got the reason to be here.”
“Please, this is too cool for me to back out now.” But she hesitated with her hand on the door handle, staring ahead. “You think there’s any chance Teenie’s great gran is still in there somehow?”
“It would hardly be the weirdest thing in this scenario.” Minako squinted at Hotaru in the dark. “Is that why you’ve been so interested in my case?”
“Nah, I hardly even believed the whole thing until we were here. I just like to annoy Rei.” She grinned. “But since it is real… it would be nice if they got a little closure, one way or another.”
“Well, what’s better closure than killing the damn monster?” Mina opened her door. “Let’s do this.”
As soon as Hotaru disappeared around the corner to sneak in, Mina’s bravado deserted her. They’d decided she was safer unarmed, in case the monster would notice. She had nothing to protect her but natural charm. She had a lot of it, but faced with the big oak door in the dark, it didn’t feel like enough.
Minako knocked hard anyway, and then pushed her way inside. “Hello?” She yelled. Her voice echoed against the walls and made her feel small. “Haruka?”
“You shouldn’t be here.”
The voice sounded close, but Minako saw nothing.
“Come back later, tomorrow. Not now.”
Minako whipped her head, trying to find the voice. The entrance hall was empty, she was alone.
“Quick, go, please.”
She saw it— the faintest outline of a person. “You don’t scare me.”
“I’m not trying to. Haruka is busy, so—“
Mina punched the ghost, just to try it. Her fist went straight through, like she’d swung at a cold patch of mist.
“You’re going to ruin everything,” said the ghost, Mina’s hand still in her face. She disappeared completely.
“Mina!” Haruka burst into the room, dressed like some old-timey dignitary. Any other time, Minako would be unable to resist a jab, but now she was filled with dread. “I knew you’d find me.” She tackled her into a hug before she could respond.
Mina gasped for breath. “You’re okay?”
“I’m great, but my phone died and my truck ran out of gas, I’m sorry if you worried.”
“I—“
There it was. It stood in the doorway, watching them like prey. The monster was even worse when you could see the length of its claws and the texture of its scales. It liked dress up, it seemed— it was wrapped in some approximation of a dress that only highlighted the wrong angles of its body— and that struck Mina as horrifically perverse.
“Haruka,” she whispered, tugging her towards the door.
“Oh, of course!” Haruka let go and turned around. “Mina, this is Michiru. Michiru, this is Mina.”
The monster locked eyes with her and inclined its head. “Haruka has told me so much about you.”
“Only bad things, I hope.” She put a hand on Haruka’s shoulder. “We should get going.”
“But—“
“I’m in a rental car, I have to return it in the morning,” Mina lied quickly. “I didn’t think my baby would make the trip.”
“That’s why you should let me take a look at it—“
“Haruka.”
She sighed. “Fine.”
The monster’s eyes flicked over. One move, and I’ll take you down, unarmed or not. But the thing stayed still. “It’s rather late,” it said quietly. “If you wanted to stay and leave in the morning…”
“Too far, sorry.”
The monster frowned. Haruka went to her, grabbing her shoulders. “Hey, I’m gonna come back, don’t worry.”
Like hell. But that was a fight for after they’d driven away.
“I’ll get a good tank of gas and I’ll visit on weekends.” She put her hand in her hair. “God, the shop must be falling apart without me.”
“I promised I wouldn’t keep you.”
“And I’m promising I’m coming back.” Haruka squeezed the monster’s claws. “Okay, can I change quick?” She asked Mina, “My clothes are upstairs.”
“Yeah, buddy, go ahead.”
The monster’s gaze returned to her as Haruka left. “You have no intention of letting her return, do you?”
“Nope.”
“Mm.” The monster looked down. “That’s for the best.” It slithered back a few paces. “She was never mine to keep. Tell her I have no wish to see her.” It retreated further. “I beg your pardon, but I must go. It was a pleasure to meet you.” The monster turned and left.
“Michiru, wait!” The ghost from before reappeared, this time taking more form. It was short and blonde and the slightest bit familiar in a way Mina could not place. She turned on Mina. “They were so close, she was so close.” She pushed at Mina’s shoulder, more solid now but too weak to carry her malice.
Mina felt uneasy as the ghost began to cry. She wasn’t sure what was worse, if the monster was staging a counter-show to her diversion, or if everything playing out was genuine. Mina had been expecting a fight. Mina had been expecting a possessive monster, a violent monster, the one she had seen on the balcony. This was wrong. This was all wrong.
“Okay,” Haruka said, reemerging in her jeans. “I—“ She stopped. “Usagi? What’s wrong?”
The ghost launched itself at Haruka. “You have to go after her! She doesn’t want you to leave.”
That was the behavior Mina had expected. Perhaps this was an act after all, the monster putting her words in another’s mouth to appear sympathetic.
“I’m not leaving forever, Usagi, Michiru knows that.”
“Ask her if you’re coming back.” The ghost pointed at Mina. “She’s gonna take you away and we’re going to be alone here forever.”
“Usagi,” another ghost appeared, tall and commanding. “We can’t keep Haruka here.”
“Mina,” Haruka said slowly. “You can’t stop me from coming back.”
“We’ll be okay either way, Haruka,” said the second ghost. “Remember what you promis—“
“She has to stay!”
“No, Usagi, she has to go.”
“We can talk about it later, Haruka,” Mina said over the din of the ghosts. “Right now I just want to get you home safe.”
“I’m already safe.”
“I saw her hurt you,” Mina hissed. “I saw—“
“She’s changed.”
“It hasn’t even been a week, no one changes—“
A gunshot shocked them all to silence.
“We have to go.” Mina grabbed Haruka’s arm, but she yanked it away.
“What did you do?”
“Another conversation for the car. Now please, let’s just—“
Haruka ran, not away but back toward the monster. One of the ghosts tackled Mina from behind. Mina fell, her breath rushing out of her all at once. “How could you?”
“Usagi—“
“No, Mako, Michiru was going to fall in love and we were going to be free and now it’s all ruined.”
“Usagi,” that larger ghost said. “If Michiru is hurt, you’re needed.”
It got off Mina, but not without a final wail.
Mako knelt at Mina’s side as Usagi left. “Are you alright?”
Mina grunted. “Fuck off.”
The ghost huffed. “Get up, then, and get your friend out of here. Whatever you have to do, do it.”
“You don’t have to tell me that.” Mina pushed up from the ground. It didn’t matter what was an act and what was real. She was taking Haruka home.
These are fun, and also I just want to put forward that the PGSM girls are 100% the stabbiest incarnations. They don’t mess around.
SittingOverHereDreaming 