For much of her life, Haruka feels safest behind the wheel. She knows cars better than her own body, it’s the one place she has full control. No one can catch her, no one can kick her out or kick her down or take it all away. Not even herself. Sometimes she feels like the worst parts of herself get left behind as she accelerates, and the faster she goes the easier she can breathe.
It would kill her to say how long she didn’t feel that way with Michiru, how long her fear stood between them, how long she didn’t relax and didn’t breathe and kept track of where she could sleep if it all went wrong. How long she fought it happening. How long she convinced herself that growing feeling was wrong, that she couldn’t be safe with anyone, that she was stupid for every inkling of belief.
It’s a quiet night, a nothing night, when it finally breaks in her. Michiru wakes to find her crying, and for the first time, Haruka doesn’t try to hide.
SittingOverHereDreaming 