Actual thoughts on Ocean’s 8, in case any of you wanna scream about it with me

• First off, we have  MAXIMUM 5/8 of the women interested in men, and I like that
• My wife argues that Constance is Gay and made the comment about Debbie’s brother for kicks. I take it at face value and see her as bi/pan.
• Debbie and Lou obvi have a tempestuous on/off relationship, Debbie is bi and Lou is hella gay, and the resolution of the movie is Lou getting distance and being the wandering motorcycle lesbian we all dream of
• 9 Ball might be my favorite, I think she got the best balance of ordinary life and plot-relevance. I also LOVE takes on The Genius that go this route, she (and her sister!!) are the smartest people in the movie, and neither of them are the nerdy priss I find utterly dull and overused. Also, yes, Rihanna in the red dress. Though really, Rihanna in the whole movie.
• The gag of the pick pocket stealing things from people trying to work with them and being told deadpan to give them back is an old gag but one that always delights me.
• I’m mildly love with Amita, I want her to be happy forever
• Constance showing Amita tinder was one of my favorite moments.
• ALSO no one is talking about Constance’s post-heist glam handoff outfit and y’all. Y’ALL.
• Lou’s sequin suit needs to burn tho
• I never learned Sara Paulson or Anne Hathaway’s character names. Overall I thought Sara Paulson’s character was a little boring, though I think she worked fine
• Anne Hathaway’s turn at the end because she wanted friends was fucking relatable
• I didn’t care for Rose, but I did appreciate the comic relief in her scenes, particularly with Amita, so that’s that. I did love the contrast of the two of them, esp with Amita clearly being out of her depth but handling it SO MUCH BETTER.
• The bit about the eight year old dreaming of being a criminal KILLED
• Overall, I really liked how the movie played into some expectations and subverted others. The comedy hit SO WELL for me.
• I also LOVED the end scenes. I loved seeing everyone’s different versions of success. SEE ABOVE RE: LOU THE WANDERING MOTORCYCLE LESBIAN. BUt also!!! 9 Ball and her bar!! (I… love characters having bars. I don’t know why. BUt I do.) Constance’s “I’m on the Co-Op board!!” Was the cutest touch, my little New York City heart rejoiced. Anne Hathaway becoming a director was a great little poke at the idea of what power and freedom can mean.
• My wife got REALLY emotional about Debbie’s end scene at the grave, and I didn’t expect it.
• Was it the best movie ever? Nah. But I feel attachment to a lot of the characters and I definitely want more movies like this.
• AKA I’m a lesbian and movies about women are just better.