I’m going ahead and posting my entry for @docholligay‘s contest. It was super fun to try and write for her, one of my favorite things about writing on here in general is knowing my readers.

Keep Her
~1K words, HaruMichi

Michiru Kaioh was not a nervous person. Excepting childhood,
she could count the times she’d been truly scared on her fingers, and that was
counting the war. This was different. This was… She pressed one shaking hand
against her stomach. She should run a bath. Haruka loved baths. It would get
her calm, and then maybe Michiru could tell her.

The water calmed her, too, a little, as it always had. Their
bathtub was no ocean, certainly, but it cared just as little and could drown
someone all the same. Michiru took a deep breath of the steamy air. Haruka
would be home any minute. She should choose a bath bomb for her, she had a
secret stash to pull from for surprises. She’d bought chocolates, the
overpriced box Haruka loved, earlier in her initial panic. Part of her felt it
could be a lovely night. It could be a celebration. But the fear wouldn’t leave
her.  

Haruka wanted this. They’d done it together, all the
paperwork, the doctor visits, everything. But what Michiru’s parents had told
her brother years ago kept playing in her head—Don’t let any girl get pregnant
by you, that’s how they trap you. Haruka was already bound to her in too many
ways. Michiru wondered sometimes what would happen if her illusion of love
broke, if she saw Michiru for what she was and nothing more. Haruka did not
seem the type for divorce, and she certainly didn’t seem the type to cut ties
after all they’d been through together. Add a child, and she’d never leave.

Michiru swirled the water through the tub. It was a little
too warm, but she kept her hand in. Had she gone through with it to keep
Haruka? She’d never wanted a child for herself. Through all the lead up she’d
let herself think that it was all for Haruka’s happiness. But Michiru knew
herself to be a selfish creature. She’d do anything for Haruka, anything to
keep hold of that which she desired most. This could be the moment Haruka
realized. She’d see the trap was set. Maybe Michiru should say nothing, do away
with it all, and—

A key turned in the front door. “Michiru? I’m home.”

Michiru rose from the side of the tub and smoothed her
skirt. She couldn’t drain the bath in time, and she was in no state to lie.
Haruka would know something was wrong, and if Haruka would know, there was no
point in trying. She made her way out to the living room just as Haruka hung
her coat.

“Did you have a good day, love?”

“Eh, it was fine.” Haruka turned. “Are you okay? You look
shaken.”

“I’m fine.” Michiru tried to smile. “I’ve run you a bath if
you’d like to relax. Or we could eat first. It’s up to you.”

Haruka pulled her close. “Michi. Talk to me. Did something
happen with…”

Michiru hesitated, heart pounding its way into her throat,
and then slowly nodded against Haruka’s chest. Haruka’s arms squeezed tighter
around her.

“I’m so sorry, Michiru. We can—we can find another way, it
doesn’t have to—“

“No, not like that.”

Haruka pulled away just enough to look at her. “What
happened?”

“I…” Tears welled in her eyes unbidden; it seemed to Michiru
this moment was the fulcrum everything rested on, it could tilt wildly either
way from here. It would be wonderful or terrible and there was nothing in
between, no balance at all. “Do you really want a baby with me, Haruka?”

Haruka tilted her head in askance. “I do, more than almost
anything, but if you don’t want to we can stop, I’m sorry, I—“

Michiru shook her head again. “I’m doing this poorly. I’m
sorry, Haruka, I’m scared.”

“Oh Michi.” Haruka brushed a tear from her cheek. “It’s
okay. I’m gonna be right here for the whole thing.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Of course.”

Michiru burried her head into Haruka’s chest. The sound of
her heartbeat made her brave, that soft reminder of what she lived for. “Haruka,
I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

The moment Haruka pulled away seemed to last forever, the
fear crested back over Michiru and crashed through her, but then Haruka put her
hands over her mouth, her eyes glassy.

“We’re having a baby?”

Michiru could only nod.

“A baby,” Haruka
said again, a most reverent whisper. She put her hands gently on Michiru’s
waist. Her eyes were big and terrified. “Are you… are you okay with this? I
know… I know it’s mostly been me, and that’s not fair, and you’ve been on board
but if it’s too much now that it’s real, it’s okay.”

“I want this, Haruka,” she whispered. “Is that okay?”

“It’s wonderful, Michi, I want it so bad.” Haruka nuzzled
into Michiru’s hair. Her chest heaved and Michiru felt the tears against her
scalp. For a long moment they cried into each other. “It’s really gonna happen?
You’ve really got a baby inside you?”

“I do, love.”

“Can I talk to it?”

Michiru nodded. Haruka got down on her knees and stroked the
material over Michiru’s stomach. “Hey, little buddy. I’m your Papa. You’re Mama’s
here too, but you’re inside her. You’re not gonna see us for a while yet, but
we’re always gonna be here for you, and we love you. Okay? You’re a loved little
baby.” She kissed Michiru’s stomach through her dress. “Was that okay?”

“Oh Haruka.” She pulled her up into her arms. “I love you.”

“I love you, Michi. We’re having a baby.” Haruka squeezed
her tight, then picked her up and spun her around. “We’re having a baby!” She
yelled, laughing. “A beautiful little baby!”

Michiru could not help but laugh along, the fear in her chest
finally giving way to the joy of the moment. She let Haruka dance her around
the room, singing the song of their future. Maybe she’d done it all to keep
Haruka, maybe Haruka would resent her later. But now, they were happy—a happy
little family. And with Haruka’s contagious smile, Michiru could believe that
mattered more than the rest of it.

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.