This is weird and kind of dumb, but I’m having some sort of emotion about last night and how it feels like my gayness is now less theoretical because I did a Gay Thing. I mean, dancing isn’t really  a Thing, even if it was fairly sexual, but at the same time IT’S KIND OF A HUGE THING. Like, up to last night I have done nothing with my gayness, I’ve liked girls and have gotten as far as asking some out, but that’s it. I haven’t actually acted on anything. So dancing with a girl, in a lesbian bar, and having gotten fairly close to kissing (her face was very close to mine at one point, and if she’d gone for it I wouldn’t have stopped her), suddenly everything feels very real. Like I am going to have a physical relationship with a woman someday! For real! I want to! It’s possible! It is a thing I will do! 

And it’s weird and exciting and maybe a little scary too, but it’s also… jarringly comfortable.