“Haruka.”
It’s like you can’t find the breath for more words. That’s kind of funny in a way that you wouldn’t find funny at all if I could point it out. And the look on you face isn’t funny. I can’t reach out to comfort you. But someone who wasn’t us would smile at the irony of you being unable to breathe while I’m here with my chest ripped open. I wish I could make you smile again, Michi, just one more time. I can’t find the way to make words either. It’s like I’m drowning; I feel water in my mouth, and though I know I’m not moving, something is dragging me down.
“Please no.”
I almost don’t hear you. I think the water’s in my ears, starting up into my eyes. Everything is muffled. I want to say something to you, but if I open my mouth now I’m sure I’ll go under. I always joked about drowning in you. Now that’s another thing we can’t laugh at.
You grab my hand. Your skin is warm and dry, like we’re not in water at all. I can feel your pulse at your wrist. It’s nice, Michi, but it’s too fast. It makes me feel like I should be scared. Maybe I should be, but I can’t focus on anything but you. But even you’re starting to blur.
You’re very close now. I feel you more than I see you. Your lips on my forehead, hair all around me. Your breath is warm, even underwater. Maybe you really are a mermaid.
“Haruka…” you whisper. I can’t hear the rest of what you say. Speak louder, Michi. The water is taking your words. Are you swimming me up to the surface, or is this goodbye?
SittingOverHereDreaming 