“We Could Pretend” replies under the cut

docholligay replied to your post

“I intended to write something fluffy and Outers Family-Oriented for…”

Okay before I get into a more ~detailed analysis~ I have to tell you that I had almost the same idea for a story holy fuck, the mindweasels are spreading

Wow, I actually had the thought partway through that you or someone else might have decided on the same idea for Michiru’s birthday. WEIRD. 

docholligay replied to your post: I intended to write something fluffy a…

“Haruka’s marker had clearly started to die by the time she’d gotten to the “iru.” This detail is so good, so clever, and so in character. It really makes the passage come alive!

Ah, I’d glad you liked that bit! I love thinking about Haruka before she can fully express her extravagant side. Someday, she will have the ability and the confidence to throw Michiru the best (/worst) birthday party in the world, but right now all she has is a big piece of paper and some crayola markers. 

docholligay replied to your post: I intended to write something fluffy a…

But horses also race, so.” She let her eyes meet Michiru’s for a split second. “So.” *INCOHERENT SCREAMING*

fortythousandth replied to your post: I intended to write something fluffy a…

MY HEART. I have such a weakness for S-era angst, GEEZ. The Poseidon bit was fabulous, and the struggle of Michiru’s inner and outer dialogue was especially good here.

Thank you! I struggled  with whether to do the Poseidon bit or not, so I’m extra glad you enjoyed it. I liked the way it functioned, but I couldn’t decide if it was too obvious or not obvious enough.

fortythousandth replied to your post: I intended to write something fluffy a…

“For the first time in years, Michiru felt a real urge to cry.” YES

docholligay replied to your post: I intended to write something fluffy a…

I love the whole motif of them almost doing a…humanity exchange. As they are together, Michiru gains an ability to be loved, to be disappointed. As Haruka is forced to kill, she loses that softness in her, that tenderness.

I hadn’t thought about it in those terms before, but YES. Heaven help Michiru if it ever occurs to HER that way. She gets a real hope for the world, a belief in something worth fighting for, crying for, dying for, and Haruka gets to lose hope. I’d say the realization would make her hate herself, but this is Michiru so she’s already there ;__;

docholligay replied to your post: I intended to write something fluffy a…

Oh man, the ending kills me, just kills me.

I almost had Michiru look Haruka in the eye the whole time, too, but that felt too horrible for everyone.